'Revival' in C sharp

Seraphim was still having a really difficult time coping with these emotions. She really was interested with Karina, sure, not in that kind of way, but the thought arose that just maybe some time in the future… maybe. For now, she still didnâ€t even feel the full impact of Megumi leaving her yet, having buried it deep in the corner of her mind, and just ignoring the fact that it couldnâ€t happen. Soon enough it would catch up with her, and Seraphim would break down. But for now, she kept pushing herself.

Seeing the redness in Karinaâ€s cheeks, Seraphim couldnâ€t help but smile a little, a cheeky little grin on her face as she was nearly done with her meal now. It was so amusing to see such a tough girl be so gentle like this now, it sort of reminded Seraphim of herself even. Tempted but resisting to just hug her again and get close, Seraphim just listened for now, jotting down each detail to mind. She really took to mind the fact that this girl was a drinker too, as Seraphim wasnâ€t much for it, but she had one now and then, her own bad habit was her damn cigarettes, especially since, despite her income until recently, Seraphim had gotten the expensive kinds. The other one about her still being a virgin, Seraphim even had a faint redness in her cheeks, but chuckled it off. She was envious on that part, Seraphim didnâ€t lose her by choice after all…

Though the redness grew even more as her eye widened, and her lips pursed shut as a small bead of sweat went down her cheek. Did.. Karina just give her an invitation to grope her?? It was tempting, and Seraphim even stared at the girlâ€s chest that was nestled so perfectly in her kimono, but she would shake such an urge away, not wanting to let it get to her head. Instead, she tried to move on to a different subject, deciding to take the chance to ask more like she was invited, even if Seraphim did feel a little flustered now. “Er, y-yea, but I hate pulling them all outta ya like this, it feels forced.” She said as she rubbed the back of her head, again trying not to stay on one topic too long, and changing the subject again. “How about.. um… oh!” Thinking about one, but not aware how personal it might be, Seraphim listed off a few more things, the last one in particular probably striking a little too close. “Do you play any good music on the guitar? Mind if I have your phone number? Are you religious? And… well, you donâ€t have to tell me about it if you donâ€t want to, but what is your sister like? And.. what can I do to help out with her… er, current condition you mentioned.”

Karina was far from finished with that huge bowl of noodles, she was takng it slow and easy, some things you just had to enjoy, like knowing this was your last meal and you wanted to keep enjoying it aslong as possible. The girl leant back on the couch when she heard Seraphim asking more questions, deciding not to talk with a mouth full and waited untill the girl was finished with another row of questions, not seeming to mind at all. " I usually just try to think of a good rhythm I could pay with on my guitar and try it, my phone number? Sure. Religious, well I always believed in Karma. My sister..? " Karina looked up and thought about it, trying to find the most moments of her sister. They didn't share alot of happiness together and Leiko always seemed to blame her for everything, heck she'd blame her even if Karina didn't do anything at all.

" She.. Really hates me, even without that condition. She blamed me for our mother's dissapearance and refused to believe she was dead, she also blamed me for getting her insane with that guitar, she even once said that I am not the real me. " Her eyelids begun to close, trying to hide a frown and thought of something else. " Fuck that shit.. I don't need anyone's help beating her down, when I find her she'll pay. " Just thinking about her little sister, about what happened, it all just started to upset her all over again, growling lowly to herself. " She'll pay. "

Er… that wasnâ€t what she really hoped to here. Quite the opposite really, it really put a tourniquet on the whole mood. Still, Seraphim tried to keep it a bit softer, only to put a hand on Karinaâ€s shoulder again, trying to find the right advice to say here. “…Sheâ€s still your sister. Sheâ€s still family.” Trying to really stress that point, Seraphim looked for the right thing to say, especially with her limited release to the whole topic of family. She took a slow breath, her chest rising and falling as she nodded slowly, giving Karina a straitfoward gaze, but still maintaining a small, friendly smile.

“I.. may not know much about family. White Galeâ€s the closest I got. But I know that you should never turn your back on that and try to fix it. Just like between you and your sister.” Seraphim felt like she had been here before. She remembered Sharaiya and Shanari, praying even now for the two of them. She had trouble keeping her promise for Sharaiya, but the woman was part of the reason she made White Gale. Sharaiya, Sindel, …Megumi. They were all reasons she made it, and yet so far, she hadnâ€t been able to help out two of those three people, one of them even turning their back on her as much as it pained the girl. But hopefully… she could do something for Karina, she wanted that more than anything right now.

" Hah! Sorry but I have known about sisterly bonds all too well in the Era of Hell! Heck I'm starting to think that that entire organization is flawed with family.. I mean.. I heard about Cerbera having a twin sister who recently joined, I even saw her, quite alike.. And then there was Reika who was betrayed by the Era of Hell, with insane of guilt cause her own sister is still in the Era of Hell.. " She'd then move back to her bowl of noodles and took a few new bites from the meat inside of it. " Then there's Shanari who was betrayed by the Era of Hell and is now hunted.. Funny part is, her own sister betrayed her and is now back in the Era of Hell in Shanari's spot. Now those two are the real crazy ones. Heck I often see mysef in them. Which reminds me.. It was odd seeing those twins there, it was supposed to be Sharaiya and Zasashi that were going to ambush you.. Hmm.. " Karina told quite a story to Seraphim but seeing as she was in the White Gale now and Seraphim needed to know everything that was going on in the Era of Hell.

" There might be one good thing though.. I was with their last meeting a week before yesterday.. Shanari had stolen Cerbera's jewel and Cerbera seemed less hostile. I heard all these crazy shit about possessiveness or whatever.. Anyway. Sarah Gatt woke me up to go to Shanari's house and take her and in the end we couldn't do that, though it was weird to see Shanari in tears and barely even herself.. I wonder if that jewel of Cerbera's really is controlling people.. I wonder if that's the reason why my little sister went like that.. " Karina stood back up and turned to head back to the kitchen to grab a spoon, seeing that she had half of the bowl empty but the hot flavoured water still within it. " Let me go grab a spoon, I'd like to taste that sweet noodle juice.. Want a spoon too? "

Karina had unleashed a real number on Seraphim with the news she shared, and probably didnâ€t even know it. Every word just came with news that wracked her with more and more guilt, and Seraphim felt her heart beginning to pump faster, her whole chest feeling like it got tighter, constricting her as if the emotional pain was becoming physical. The most she knew was about how Sharaiya was back in the Era of Hell, the two at more of a distance because of it lately. But when she was told about how the girl was supposed to ambush her, the womanâ€s whole mood just faded and crumpled to a pitiful state. There was Sarah Gatt, a woman that Seraphim still didnâ€t know what to do about, and now how Cerbera had a twin sister and this strange news about a jewel. The failure that Seraphim had committed in not helping Sharaiya get her sister back, and just the chaos in general that had been going on, Seraphim didnâ€t know how to handle it.

When Karina got up, the girl just sat there for a moment, before slowly pulling her legs up closer to herself, curling up slightly as she had her knees close to her chest, and rested her head on it, crossing her arms around them as she sat. She kept herself strong, but hearing all of that really started to push Seraphimâ€s limit, as she was quiet, taking slow, shaky breaths to keep herself calm. Even as Karina made her an offer, she just shook her head, not saying a word to her as one thing settled in Seraphimâ€s mind, casting a shadow of heavy doubt over her whole world.

‘…I should have never bared this responsibility.â€

When Karina came back with a spoon, she noticed Seraphim's suddenly position and she knew what had happened. It was the same state she saw her little sister in.. Heck even herself.. She placed the spoon upon the table next to her bowl and sat down besides Seraphim, trying to be compassionate but.. " ..Did I really lose to you? " Karina suddenly turned firm but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be heartless, suddenly grabbing Seraphim's arms and pulled the girl forward to her, even if she didn't want to that wasn't going to stop Karina. She pulls Seraphim onto her own lap and looked up at her with a frown. " ...Come here you... Sometimes.. Life sucks, well, most of te time it just sucks and there's nothing you can do about it. But.. Don't look back at it.. Don't blame yourself for things that were not in your control.. "

Karina kept a firm look at Seraphim, trying to get the girl to either crumble or strengthen herself back together. " You are someone who is strong and will never let anything get her down.. Whatever I said that made you like this.. Fighting it to turn it around. Do NOT and I repeat DO NOT let it affect you!! It's never too late! .. Its.. " Karina looked down and mumbled to herself, softly. " ..Always fight for what you believe in.. Seraphim.. I'll fight for you. I want to be like you.. I want to know what it's like to have a family.. " She'd then show a weak smile up at Seraphim as she held her close. " I want to see you happy.. I'll fight for that.. "

When Karina arrived and sat down beside her, Seraphim didnâ€t seem to take much notice of it. Her gaze still focused on the floor, thinking heavily about the subjects at hand. It was true that Seraphimâ€s worst enemy was in fact herself, and right now, she felt like a failure. At first, Karinaâ€s words fell on deaf ears, but as the girl pulled Seraphim close, she let go of her knees, and found the back of her head resting on Karinaâ€s lap, finding it to be quite soft and comforting. She was able to look up at Karina from this position, but couldnâ€t focus her eye on the woman yet, looking away as she nervously bit the edge of her lip. “I know… I usually tell myself that all the time, I just...” Her words trailed off, finding that even though she followed the words Karina had told her with her heart and soul, it felt different to hear it from someone else, like it was just the reminder she needed.

Finally, Seraphim sighed a little, and pulled away from Karina, hating herself for making this so awkward and difficult. Here she was supposed to be there for Karina, and make her feel welcomed into White Gale, and just have a good time together. And instead... here she was seeming pathetic and like a wimp. God she hated herself for this!

“Iâ€ve... just been having trouble with so much lately. ….Iâ€ve been ignoring it for awhile, but around you I feel it all starting to catch up with me.” She sighed a little, admitting what bothered her the most right now, figuring that since Karina had opened up, she might as well too. And so, her crimson eye drifted off to the empty space of the wall, and her tone fell blunt, like she was starting to feel… empty. “Shairaya used to be with me in White Gale. ….I failed her. And Iâ€m afraid I might fail you too and youâ€ll leave. Also… recently… I-I just got out of a real bad relationship. The person really helped turn me into what you saw yesterday… she was one of the main reasons I made White Gale… and she lied to me. And then with Cerbera… and just everything going on with the Era of Hell, Iâ€ve just been overwhelmed and….” Her words trailed off in the end, and Seraphim slowly shook her head before resting her head into her palm, looking like she was really burnt out at the moment and just feeling like she didnâ€t know where to go on from here. “…Sorry, I must sound pathetic right now, donâ€t I?”

Karina narrowed her eyes down at Seraphim when she said that she might sound pathetic. She knew Seraphim better then this already, she knew how sorrow could bring someone down, she just experienced it herself.. And she also experienced what a friend could do. Without a single thought she'd suddenly force Seraphim onto her back with Karina crawled ontop of her and pinning the girl's shoulders down, yelling down at her. " If it weren't for your jaw I would've punched you right now and hard too! You haven't failed anyone! You'll only fail if you truly give up on it, on everything! Seraphim I've know you for a day now and I've talked to you even less that but when I look into your eye, when I see how you are.. Even if you hide your sorrow, you still show how strong you are! You could NEVER sound pathetic for how you are, for telling how you truly feel! I WOULD NEVER ABANDON YOU! "

Karina shouted loudly, as if trying to make sure Seraphim would hear it, she wasn't surprised with what she just said because she knew.. She just knew she would not leave Seraphim, a grin appearing on Karina's face while she kept Seraphim down. " We're gonna be sparring buddies, drinking buddies heck if you can play an instrument or sing we can jam together but whatever you do.. Don't give up.. I don't know how hard it is to lose a relationship, cause I've never been in one.. But I am here to help you, as a friend should. " Karina spoke with honesty in every word she said, she was going to show that she can be a friend, that she can be right here where Seraphim wants her to be. " I will not... Allow you to be alone with your sorrow.. I will not.. " Karina would slowly release Seraphim to sit infront of her, growling lowly at her. " I don't know anything about Sharaiya and you.. Nor you and whoever you were in a relationship with.. But everything will work out just fine.. I'll help you no matter what! "

“Oomph! Wh-What do you think youâ€re-?” Completely taken by surprise, Seraphim was pushed down onto the couch, falling onto her back as she quickly looked at Karina with a widened eye, almost angry for a moment at her. But when the girl had her legs around Seraphimâ€s waist and her hands on her shoulders, Seraphim went silent, staring up into the her black haired friend, unsure just what to say all of the sudden as Karina barraged her with her words. Her words were encouraging, and Seraphim found herself becoming a bit nervous for a moment, biting the edge of her lips as she looked away, a disheartened look on her face as she frowned. Although, when Karina told her how she would never abandon her, Seraphim looked up at her again, a pained smile slowly coming to her lips, even as Karina shouted.

She was right. And honestly, Seraphim looked forward to everything Karina said. From sparing, maybe creating some music together, and knowing she had someone could rely on. …It was tough, she had a lot in her life going on and felt miserable from it all, but, Karinaâ€s words gave her the light she needed, and Seraphim found herself knowing now that no matter what… things would be okay. Certainly difficult, Heck, at some times she wanted to give up, but with people like Karina, Sindel, and everyone else in White Gale… she had hope. “Thanks… I needed to hear that.” Seraphim said with a deep, watery look in her eyes, before she gently wrapped her hands around Karinaâ€s slender waist, keeping the girl where she was for now as Seraphim lied on her back and the kimono cladded woman she made friends with hovering over her.

Karina remained kneeled over Seraphim, her hands moving to place them at the sides of the girl's head and smiled down lightly at her. " That's.. What friends are for, right? I promise you right here and now.. I'll be by your side to aid you. Heck if don't then I'll be buying you dinner till the age of thirty! " Karina chuckled down at Seraphim and nodded her head over at the large bowl on the table. " Now I have half a bowl of noodles and meat and I insist you eat it with me! If you'll eat with me then I'll.. Give.. " Karina starts to shivver. " Give salad a try. "

Karina then smiled kindly down at Seraphim and tilted her head to the side. " You gonna be okay now? " Karina moved one hand up to gently stroke her index fingers underneath Seraphim's eye to remove the tears from it. " You're not allowed to cry around me, only have fun! " Karina's hair fell down and gently stroked Seraphim's cheek as she remained over Seraphim though if allow she'll slowly back up to once again sit on the couch and pull the bowl closer to them on the table. " Sides.. You can come teach me how to use those chopsticks! "