All The Things I'm Not

"Funny how you think I'm a pussy, but you're the one who went all crazy because of a breakup with some skank," Taylor replied dryly. "Yeah, I just lost a match, that's it. Like how you're just my assistant. Like how it was just an ugly belt. It was just a silly career. Who cares?"

She folded her arms. She couldn't help but let some of her pent up animosity come out. "But if you want to be my assistant a minute longer, like the person I can talk to about this shit, I thought maybe we could have an actual conversation about my options going forward. I was a joke of a champ, and after all the title shots I've had... Angel, Angel again, Kelly, Kelly again, Brittany... I don't think they're going to let me near it again any time soon. It could be years, and I'm telling you, as your boss, that I'm not interested in that. That's not in the cards for me. So if you like your job, we're going to need to figure out what I can do to make enough money to keep paying you."

She unfolded her arms, and her hands floundered around for a moment before finding their places on her hips. She bounced her knee a couple times. "Any ideas?"

Morrigan smiled at Taylor as she was jabbed at. It at least meant there was still something inside of her, even if the words were fairly fatalistic and a bit too personal for the red head's liking all things considered. She brushed it aside and let her smile fade.

"Fine." She said seriously. "Are we talking about leaving the company entirely? Because despite what you may think, you're still a hot commodity. Even if you're not wrestling, you could still do some work in places. On the mic or interviews or any of that kind of shite. If you're leaving, I still think you should try your hand in the communications field."

Morrigan lifted her head a bit. "They give pieces of shite celebrities who don't know a damn thing about the field work all the time. You've got enough charisma to manage." She said. "Not that I was saying you're shite or anything." She looked up. "Do some commercials, find some movies to star in. I've had offers for you before. There's plenty of doors that have been open waiting for your schedule to fill up. I could have people on the phone in five minutes if you wanted me to."

Morrigan pulled out her phone and began thumbing through it. "Plus, your wallet wouldn't take too much of a hit. Maybe it'd be better off if you started doing some acting or broadcasting."

Taylor nodded, staring down at the floor with her brow knit up while she listened. She had to snort at the idea of doing movies.

"Acting? Seriously?" She said skeptically with an eyebrow raised. "I don't want to suck at whatever I do. I need to do whatever I do really well. And... I dunno. It... might be weird to work in the company. No one really likes me here, kinda. I don't want people trying to kick my ass while I'm on the mic, and like... If I'm not fighting, I don't want like, a hostile workplace or whatever."

She paused, and pensively pursed her lips. "I did think about maybe doing a youtube channel. Like... Fighting and fitness stuff, answer questions, life stuff... I dunno. Is there anything I can do with like... Tricking or gymnastics or whatever? I mean... I dunno, but then, also, like..."

She hesitated again, and debated not bringing it up at all, but she had to. Any bravado she had was gone when she nakedly asked the question. "Do you think I could maybe help out somewhere with, like... You know..."

"Why would you suck at acting?" Morrigan said. "I seriously doubt anyone's going to ask you to to be Janet Leigh." Morrigan said seriously. "You could be in a..." Morrigan paused and lowered her head. "bad ass..." She lifted her head back up. "Action movie as some super kick arse lassie." Morrigan said, smiling.

The rest of what Taylor said, however, made Morrigan turn her head a bit. "i don't think you can live off a YouTube channel. If you wanted, you could try it after you found some other work and see what you could do with it."

Morrigan then paused. "Help out with what?" She asked, looking curiously at Taylor.

"Ya know..." Taylor said again, averting her eyes with a half-shrug. Her voice got quieter and quieter as she went on. "With the... Like a... youth program, or something."

She put her hands on her hips as she thought it through. "I mean, I could open like a pro wrestling gym or something, but I don't think I want to stay in wrestling... It just wouldn't be good for kids, and if part of the idea is to get them in the door... I thought maybe I could even try to start the thing I talked about before, ya know, the gym-thing with like, different programs and... after school stuff, and..."

She shrugged, and raised her hands to deflect the idea. "It probably wouldn't work out like that. Especially not with my reputation now, from the company. I dunno, I've just spent so long fighting people who want to rip my throat out, I want to do something actually good, and not just show people how to survive. Though... I guess being in movies might help with my reputation, if they were the right ones..."

"Taylor."

Morrigan said softly, looking sincerely at the girl. "All those things are great and if you want to do any of it, I'll help you set it up. I think a gym could make money eventually, but most of what you're suggesting are investments that need cultivating, not immediate sources of income."

Morrigan paused. "However, if you never wrestled another match in your life, I think you could still live off what you built in the ring. I know it's hard not to see anything but the failures but believe me when I say, they still love you. You're still inspiring millions."

Morrigan knew how saying that might go, but she had to say it nonetheless.

Taylor nodded sadly. She knew Morrigan was right, that there were no shortcuts. She felt stuck, and she began to wonder if she had ever done anything right in her life...

But Morrigan's next words made her shut her mouth tight. She looked proud and guilty and utterly broken-hearted all at the same time, and she looked like she might drop in place like a collapsing tent.

She thought of all of her fans, from the first one to make a sign for her, to the ones who retweeted #AgainstAllOdds, to the last ones who saw her fall to Karisma's cheating and Brittany's backstabbing. She was never universally loved, far from it, but her fans were devoted and she loved them dearly. She owed them so much. She would never have made it here without them, though... Where was here, exactly?

She breathed a carefully smoothed-out sigh and nodded to Morrigan with silent, sad eyes.

"...Well, I guess I gotta go talk to them."

She walked back up the stairs to face the group, and she had butterflies in her stomach like her first match at Avalanche. Her stomach was filled with heavy dread, and her heart was in her throat. She couldn't bring herself to sit with them, so instead she only stood awkwardly in front of them, and eventually folded her arms.

"So..."

Everyone looked up when Taylor came back. As she stood there and folded her arms, they were expecting her to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. Johnny looked around the room and then scratched his head.

"So, what did Morg say, babe?" He asked.

Taylor only shrugged. Her hip cocked slightly to one side, and she stood her ground. She fished one hand in the air like she expected them to talk first.

"So what brings you guys to the neighborhood?"

"Imouto-chaaaan." Akashi groaned. "We came to see you, naturally." She said, as if Taylor didn't know why they were all there. Akashi crossed her arms under her own chest and frowned.

"What did you talk to Morrigan-chan about, dear?" Junko said, trying to cajole her daughter-in-law as well.

Gabbie furrowed her brow from her seat. Everyone was walking on eggshells, and she had to some extent, but she could only hold her tongue for so long. "So, when are you going to go kick Brittany's ass?" She said, the other three looking at her.

"Gabrielle-chan!" Junko said tersely, scolding the blonde. Gabbie gave Junko a salty look. She hated being called that, but Junko had taken to using it when she wanted to scold the blonde. Usually for saying something that Junko felt was inappropriate.