Head Games

"That's..." Kozue blinked and stared off into space. "That actually does makes sense."

She ran a hand  under her chin as she got lost in thought for a moment. A long moment. At least five seconds before she came back to reality. "I've never really accomplished anything. I just stopped and thought about it, and I've never really achieved anything big in my life. I mean, I've had some little moments, A+ on a test, figured out how to do some move on my board. But I can't think of anything that even comes close to winning big like that. No trophies, no fancy diplomas in a glass case. Nothing. What's that say about me?"

Kozue glanced down for a brief moment, vaguely aware of Femie rubbing her bare thigh, and any other time she would've had a few words about it, but she was fine with the touch for the time being. Probably a French thing, and it did feel pretty good. She had soft hands and a gentle touch.

Kozue reached back and started to untie her hair, undoing the wrap with a few quick twirls. All at once, it fell down around her shoulder, cascading down her back, flowing freely. If she was going to get relaxed here, might as well go all the way. "Yeah, super chaud." She scoffed. "It'd probably be as uncomfortable as fuck. Like sex on an elevator. One of those things were it sounds hot on paper, but you actually do it, and you realize how stupid it is about halfway through." She shrugged. "Guess it's not the worst goal anyone's ever had."

She raised an eyebrow and looked at Femie from the corner of her vision, with the beginning of a wry grin on her face. 'Gotta say, though - know this is about me, not you, but I am morbidly curious what tiny adjustments you'd be making to my dream porn."

Femie beamed proudly and patted Kozue's thigh. "Well, I'm sure you're big moments are coming, but if you're every feeling down, remember, the big moments are big because they don't come so often. Life is more a series of small victories that we build into the big ones. All it says about you is your avalanche is still just a snowflake waiting to roll down the mountain and pick up more snow."

Femie eased her hand off Kozue and pressed it to her lips. "Ohoho, it's not as uncomfortable as you might think. You just need to be fast!" She mused. "Oh, and as far as that goes, well... Ohoho!" She said. "You're right, it is about you, but I'm not so interested in having the kind of title you might want, but a conquest is a conquest no matter what you end up screwing on afterwards, Ohohohoho!"

Femie stood up after she finished chortling and slipped back to her desk, opening her note pad as she scribbled a few things down.

"Also, I prefer mademoiselles." She said as she wrote in her notepad, not even looking at Kozue.

"Oh."

Femie was a lesbian?

...she worked for the AFW, of course she was a lesbian. That shouldn't have surprised Kozue nearly as much as it did. What did surprise her was that she'd been talking to Femie this whole time and had such a fun time, engaging conversation. She'd always heard stories about Friction women being out-of-control nymphos, but Femie seemed normal. Normal-ish, at least.

She wrapped a single strand of hair around her finger as the head doctor wrote away, twirling it about while she watched. "Really can't imagine screwing with a hard, metal object digging in my back, but if you've got experience, I'll take your word for it." Kozue got up one more time to refill on some water, biting her lip as she neared Femie. "Your preference, though. Stop me if it's not my business, please, but I was just, you know, a little curious - when did you know that was the way you swung? Was it like that always or was there just a moment where it clicked or..."

Femie clicked her pen and set it down, looking at Kozue with a thoughtful gaze. "Well, I've always been quite the lover, ohoho." Femie said with a bright grin. "So after having enough samples, I think I found what I prefer, I suppose." Femie paused.

"I mean, there's something quite enjoyable about being penetrated deeply, but... men are very rough and single minded. They are like robots who are programmed to do one thing. Not all of them, of course... but... there's a lot two flexible women can do when they put their minds and bodies together, if you know what I mean, ohoho!"

Femie looked over Kozue. "Why are you curious?" She asked. "I know that lesbians are fairly ubiquitous here in Friction, but I try and be sensitive to everyone. I hope that knowing this about me hasn't made you uncomfortable. I assure you that I would always be professional with you, Kozue."

Kozue plopped back down and shfited around in her seat a bit, once again trying to find the sweet spot. It was harder, now. "Uncomfortable?" She rubbed the back of her neck. "Kinda? Maybe? This is really the wrong company for you if lesbians make you uncomfortable. You're fine, though. I'm fine. We're fine." She put on the best serious face she could muster. Not her speciality. "You say you'll be professional, I believe you."

She leaned forward and swished the water around in her mouth for a moment, before swallowing it and moving on. "It's just something I get curious about from time to time. More so now that I'm in, like, the Mecca for lesbians. It's always been sort of a grey area for me. I know I like guys, no shit, but..."

She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times, ramping up to the next bit. It would be the first time she ever said the words out loud. "My first kiss was with a girl. True story."

Femie nodded along with Kozue. She understood it well enough. She did figure out pretty quickly that she preferred girls and once she figured out that there was equipment to help her along when she wanted to be penetrated, that was pretty much that. Still, not everyone was as sexually open as Femie and she knew everyone needed to figure things out for themselves.

"Well, my advice would be to explore until you've decided for sure where you are. Maybe you'll end up like me, maybe you'll decide you don't like women at all or maybe you'll find a happy medium. There's no wrong answer when it comes to sexuality as long as it's enjoyable and healthy!" Femie smiled brightly.

"But, ohoho, do tell me about your first experience!" She leaned back in her chair and grinned. "Though, this hardly seems fair for me to be taking AFW's money to listen to something like this, ohoho!" She teased and then then leaned close to the tape recorder. She chirped in French and then laughed again as she turned towards Kozue.

Kozue eyed the tape recorder for a moment - she'd almost completely forgotten that this was all recorded. It made her hesitate for a second. Getting this story out was one thing, but having it recorded meant that it would survive for a lot longer than she'd like. Femie had done right by her so far, though, and she looked keen on keeping that up. This wouldn't work without some trust, right?

"The story." Kozue slid out of her sandals and let her bare feet rest on the padded floor, sliding over the carpet. "So, 11th grade, there was this girl. Dionne Something, can't remember her last name. Black girl, very athletic, played tennis, sang on the choir, super popular. Not part of my pathetically small social circle. Different clique."

She finished off the cup and set it to the side, her thirst completely sated for a little while. "One day, though, we got paired together for a class project, total random. It was a little weird at first. She's a prom queen in the making, I'm this geeky little tomboy with the funny shirts and the weird name. But the more it goes on, the more we talk, the cooler we get. She turns out to be a closet gamer, which is real cool with me. I go to her house to work on the project, she comes to mine, we play some PS3 during breaks. It's fun. Two months of this."

Kozue stretched out her legs and wiggled her toes out in front. "So, we get a B+ on the project, even though we spent most of our time screwing around and being dumb teenagers. And to celebrate, she takes me to see a movie. A James Bond flick. Things are going good, I'm like the action, and she's got her hand on mine while we watch, and I don't think much about at first. Dionne was always sort of touchy-touchy, but I figured that was just her thing. Some people just cannot keep their hands to themselves." She ran a hand through her hair and looked back at Femie, hoping she wasn't boring the poor woman with this. She did ask.

"So, the movie hits the hot love scene that's in every Bond movie ever, and all the sudden, Dionne's not just holding my hand, anymore. She's close. Face to face. She goes for a kiss, and I..." Kozue smacked her lips. "...kiss her back. Like it's the most natural thing in the world." Inhale. Exhale. "There was this really awkward moment, where we're just staring and staring and staring, and then I just left. I walked out, and went home and I tried to process it all, but it never happened. It was like I was feeling things I didn't have words for. I wanted to talk to her about it, but Dionne shut me out. Maybe she got mad that I walked out, maybe she took it like rejection, could've been just embarrassed. I don't know, I'll never know. It's just this really weird chapter of my life that sticks out, and I try to forget about it as much as you can forget something like that."

"Oooooh! Tres adorable!"

Femie clapped her hands together and nodded in approval. "Young love, it is so awkward and charming." She said with a bright grin. She lifted up her finger. "Non! Non! Non!" She said. "It is not something you should forget one bit, Kozue." She said. "You were young and immature and so was she. If it was meant to be, it would have been, but, c'est la vie. You should be happy for the moment. It seems like she was too, regardless of what came with it. Experiences are both bad and good, we should not let the bad ones sour us on the potential that good ones will come again. And, sometimes, both good and bad come from the same experiences, how wonderful, ohoho!"

Femie stood up and carried her tea cup over to the tray and set it down. "So, that was your only encounter with a woman?" She asked. "How was your first truly sexual experience?" She asked as she sat back down at her desk. She took off her monocle and began wiping it as she waited for Kozue.

At least Femie got a kick out of the story, that made it worth something. It did feel good to get that out, though, and get a little confirmation that she was not, in fact, crazy. Talking helped. Coming in here was starting to feel like more and more of a good thing.

"'Awkward' is about right. Never did finish watching that movie, either." She reached in her pocket and took a quick check of the phone. Fifteen minutes? It felt longer. "That's been my only time with a girl." She paused, thought, shook her head. "Well, no, I got drunk a couple of times and got dared into it, doesn't really count. Never anything even close to serious. Maybe there was something there, but..."

She stuffed the phone away and stood up. She slowly paced away the room, sliding her bare feet along as she went. "First time was behind a half-pipe at this skater park with Mike Cribkee, guy who used to hang with me. Nothing special." She bobbed her head to the side. "Sex is always sort of a casual thing with me, I guess. After I left home, I'd get it every now and then. Meet a guy I like, we'd hang, fuck. I mean, I like it, no shit, but it doesn't really mean much to me. It's a thing I do for fun, sometimes. It's never gotten beyond that level for me. Casual."

Femie listened carefully to Kozue's words and nodded along. She understood what the girl was saying. Femie was all for casual love, but their versions didn't exactly synch up in the Belgian's head.

"Let me ask you an important Question, Kozue." She said, leaning forward. "What is the most important thing to you?" She asked. "And, I am not talking about a dream, or something you'd like to achieve. I mean, right now, in the life of Kozue Kabarugi, what is the most important thing, tangible or otherwise?"