Our Home and Native Land

Talia's phone buzzed and she looked down to see another text from Aurora. Who? She groaned with frustration and put her phone away. Aurora would have to wait for an answer. Cassie walked up to her with a big smile across her face. "Hey." She got to her feet, somewhat taken back by Cassie's enthusiasm. "Oh...umm yea sure...I saw that there's a mall nearby. Want to go shopping for a little bit?" There was probably a Starbucks there too. And a movie theater.

She couldn't match Cassie's enthusiasm at the mentioning of Jacob. When it got silent, though, Talia realized she had to say something. "Yea he is." Maybe the presence of another girl would help ease the tension between Jacob and her. "We could do that." Talia managed to forced a smile. Watching a movie together didn't mean they'd have to talk. And she could sit on the outside next to Cassie to avoid any further problems. It should be fine.


"Do you drink coffee at all?" she asked Cassie as they waited in line at a coffee stand. "I use to drink it all the time but I stopped for awhile during training." She stepped forward in line. Thankfully, the Canadians still had cold, blended drinks even in winter. Talia already decided to get the caramel one. "So...why do you call Bucky...Bucky? Isn't his name Jacob? Like...how'd he get that nickname?"

"I like hot chocolate..." Cassie said. It sort of made her feel less adult than Talia. She ordered a small peppermint hot chocolate and stepped to the side.

"Because he's Bucky!" She grinned. "Technically his name is Jacob. That's true. But, his real name is Bucky!" She counted on her fingers while she explained. "First, it was Buddy. When I was really little, my first full sentence was 'come on, my buddy'. Then Buddy became Buchy. Buchy became Bucky. That was when I was three, maybe, and it stuck for seventeen years! He'll always be Bucky. He's my bestest bud."

She stood on her toes and put her arms out a little for balance. "What about your brother? Alex. Me and your sister go way back, but what's he like?"

Talia happily took the caramel frappe-like drink from the barista when it was finished. Cassie's story was so cute that Talia was somewhat speechless when it came to her own brother. Cassie was so close to her brother but Talia...wasn't. "He's thirty-three...so I didn't really know him too well. He was already in college by the time I started middle school." That sounded so dull. "He always liked setting good examples for Aurora and I. He's actually why we both got into wrestling." She sipped some of the icy drink through the straw.

The redhead stared at her drink for a few seconds. In the time she had been with the Elliots, her perceptions of her family had changed dramatically. For one, she wanted more than anything to be with them. But at the same time, she thought less of them. She always use to think Alex never had the opportunity to be a good older brother. He had his career that took him across the country so he could never be there. Jacob and Nick, on the other hand, were hallmark icons of what brothers should be. Talia now knew what she wished she had out of him. Maybe she'd be more like Cassie if Alex was there for her. "He's cool," she said finally with another sip.

The two walked around the mall for a bit before ending up at a shoe store. "I need a new pair of snow boots. The ones I have right now are so worn out..." She was actually more interested in getting something else. She pulled a pair off the display and inspected it. "So...I hate to ask but...umm...?" It was still awkward to bring up anything AFW related. It just kept making her think she was Dark Angel again. "How...how's Taylor? And Akashi? I hadn't really...talked to them much after...after the club."

"Yay boots!" Cassie cheered. She liked boots. She had multiple pairs of Uggs and wellies.

"Eh?" Talia got a little weird. "Ahhh, they're great." And that was why. "Taylor's... she's really got a lot going on right now. She owns her own business! I think. And her and Johnny bought a house in a new city, and she's been on a role with Friction lately... Did you see her match against Iron Maiden?"

She strolled along behind Talia down the aisles filled with shoes and boots and piles of boxes. She remembered when she went shoe shopping with Taylor in New York City, before either of them had ever been to Japan.

"And Akashi... Well, she's Akashi. She's pretty much the same, but I think she's been feeling pretty down lately. She had a rough year in Friction, and not everything has really gone her way." She looked over at Talia. "Why do you ask?"

Talia felt like she had to know how they were doing. In many ways, her life revolved around all of them over the past year. It was almost entirely in a bad way...but it was true nevertheless. "I was just curious...I hadn't seen that match...how did Taylor do against Iron Maiden?" The way she described Akashi made her sad and she didn't want to talk about that anymore that she had to. The sumo had always seemed so happy to her. Maybe that was all just a face she put on to cover her true feelings. She wasn't sure why she felt bad...but she did.

She pulled another boot off a display. "I like these." Shoes felt like a stupid thing to talk about after bringing up the others. "So do you think...how mad are they at me?" Talia picked up a box of the boots she picked out in her size. It would do. "Not that...not that it really matters." That may had been a little mean to say but she didn't want Cassie to think she wanted them to like her somehow. "I mean like...nevermind." Talia made her way to the cashier to buy the box.

"Did you want to text Bucky? I'm almost done so...if you wanted to see a movie with him..." She paid the cashier as she waited for an answer.

"Awesome!" Cassie beamed, and raised her fists in the air. "She won!"

She began to comment on Talia's choice of boot when she brought the others up again. She wasn't fooling anybody with her aloof act. Of course she was worried about what Taylor and Akashi thought. Everything she did in the last year and a half was because of her obsession with them. And with Cassie.

"I think it'd be okay if you just talked to them," she said quietly. They were all pretty reasonable people, if a little hotheaded. There was no reason they couldn't all get along.

"You're not even going to try them on? You're nuts!" Cassie tried to rekindle the mood, what little there was before. "And I only want to if you want to. If you want time alone, that's okay too... Or you could hang out with the family. But I'll only go if you come too."

After leaving the store and rejoining the mall crowd, after a short silence, Cassie spoke up. "Do you hate yourself for what happened?"

Talia tried to keep a straight face throughout it all. Talking to them was instinctively out of the question. Talking never got her anywhere with the others because it was always just that: talking. No one listened. Everyone just kept talking. But now she wasn't sure what really made things better or worse anymore. Maybe it was a possibility after all.

But she certain she wouldn't talk to them without Cassie there.

The shoes seemed fine. They looked nice and were in her size so at the very worst they'd be an uncomfortable but useful pair. Talia was more interested in the box than anything else. She just didn't want Cassie to know that quite yet. But her train of thought was suddenly interrupted by Cassie's question. It nearly made Talia stop in her tracks. She looked into a kids clothing store that they passed just to avoid eye contact. It was not something she wanted to answer out loud. "I guess I'm a little tired. Would it be okay if we just went back to your house?"

"We could pick up hot chocolate for everyone."

Cassie gave Talia a sympathetic, get-well-soon type of frown, and stayed focused on her purple eyes. She didn't really expect Talia to have an answer for her right then and there. She figured she already knew what it was.

She didn't press it. Not right away. "Oh, okay. Well, we've still got some time before they're going to head back home, but if you don't want to wait I can see if Bucky isn't staying for the second class, and he can drop us off. Or I can call mom. Really, I should just have my own car, eh?" She laughed weakly.

But she couldn't just let it go. "Life can be really unfair, huh?" She mused "And you end up doing things you never thought you would, and never wanted to because somehow you don't have a choice."

She stepped in close to Talia and wrapped her up in a tight, stubborn hug, resting her cheek on the girl's shoulder. "This is all I wanted to do," she said, and closed her eyes while she held Talia tight.

Talia didn't want to bother anyone if she didn't have to. Especially Bucky. "Oh...then lets get a bite to eat while we wait..." She wasn't sure who would pick them up in that scenario. As long as Cassie decided, it'd be okay though.

Cassie made the conversation serious once more and Talia stopped walking. If it had been anyone else who said those words, she would have thought they were mocking her. But it wasn't anyone else. It was Cassie. She ambushed Talia with a fierce hug. The girl dropped the plastic bag that held her shoes. She sulked her head down, suppressing the urge to cry. "And I responded by beating you over the head with a pipe..." Talia's voice cracked as she whispered. Then she cracked as well. Her eyes watered heavily but she managed not to make any noise. Her arms held idly at her sides as people walked around the two.

The only thing she ever really needed was the support of others. Yet, she kept pushing them away. Everytime someone tried to help, she'd fight them instead. "I'm so sorry..." she whispered. It had taken so long for this talk to occur that Talia was caught completely off guard by it.

Cassie swayed gently back and forth while she clung to Talia and comfortingly rubbed her back. She didn't need Talia to hug her back, just to let her do the hugging was enough. She pulled Talia's head down onto her shoulder.

"Well, I tried to break your arm. And... other stuff..." Cassie breathed a laugh that brought tears to her eyes, and then Talia's apology put her over the edge. She closed her eyes and smiled and let the tears roll down her cheeks. "Talia," she could barely get the words out. "This is all I ever wanted." Her breath came in halting sobs. "It's like... you've finally come home. You were lost and now you're found."

She buried her face in Talia's shoulder, and in a small voice that was almost pitiful asked "C-can you hug me back?"