Each and Every Step

Taylor only snorted. She stuck her hands in her pockets and shook her head. Did Adrian really have to go out of her way to make her feel like a jerk?

She impassively regarded the spectators until they started to get the picture that the show was over. It might not have been over, not yet, but it would still make her much happier if everyone would just fuck off.

Adrian's last remark cut her, and she scowled deeply. "Fuck you," she said, feeling like a broken record. "Man, just cool it, a'right? I might be a spaz, but at least I know when to quit." She shook her head. "Just... this whole thing, like, us, it's gotta stop. We've got to figure this thing out, and if we just need to finally just fight to the death right here in the street then let's do it now, because I can't stand this stuff. This isn't supposed to be me anymore, man. Everything's different except when you're around." She kept one eye on Adrian just in case.

Adrian didn't think it'd be over just like that, her heart was sill pounding and the adrenaline still pumped around her veins. She hadn't really felt like this since well... the last time the two of them fought. But it was hard to put into words really, yeah it was making the cosplayer the biggest asshole this side of New Jersey but for her at least there was something there, whenever she clashed with Taylor really hard she always swung back, and it wasn't always just bluster to cover her internal breakdowns or anything. "I dunno..." she mumbled. There was definitely something between the two still, no matter how many apologies got thrown around.

Being around Taylor seemed to give her a bigger sense of determination compared to normal, but it wasn't fair for her to use Taylor as a crutch to keep her focus going, which is what she was kinda doing, feeding off what little deep seated... thing there was to push her beyond her normal limits, but Taylor was retired now, she couldn't just be getting into catfights in the middle of the street. If she could understand why Taylor was pushing her buttons and why she was pushing hers in return then maybe she could utilize that form of motivation against Natasha, keep her mind in the game and not freaking out over lost limbs or something. "I don't know what it is, but... this is gonna sound really weird... fighting you, it's the only time I really feel... like, I feel like I... believe in myself. And that's not 'cause you're shit at fighting! It's just... I dunno, maybe it's just me being a cornered rat, but whenever you come at me like that. That's when I kinda get a spine... when I stop giving a shit about the what-ifs and shit." she tried to explain

Taylor shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Her instinct was to get out of there, to run away and put as much distance as she could between herself and Adrian and the stupid dirtbag gawkers who apparently had never seen two fit girls in their twenties briefly headbutt the shit out of each other on the sidewalk. She had no idea how to respond. Like, what do you say to that?

She glanced up at Adrian, then snorted and looked away. She shrugged. "What am I supposed to say, here. You're welcome?" She said, shaking her head. "So I guess just like, picture me instead of Natasha and you'll be fine. There you go, grasshopper, your training is complete."

Adrian grimaced as Taylor took a step back, this was obviously a lot harder to explain without freaking out everyone than she first thought when she opened her mouth. "It's not though." She said, if it was just the burst of confidence she needed things would have been very different. "If all I needed to do to win everything, get a spine was just imagine the face I was trying to punch in was yours, I wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place, you wouldn't have totally kicked my ass. Believing I can win isn't enough if I just go all out and lay into people with no control. It's just gonna get me shredded."

"Okay, so you want me to teach you self control and confidence," Taylor said, and folded her arms over her chest, obviously annoyed. "Dude, do you even know who you're talking to? Have we met? I don't have either of those things. If I did... whatever. I'm not really sure what you want from me."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She reminded herself that fighting wasn't her life anymore, and it really didn't matter how good she was, or who was better than who. It was all nothing to her now.

"I used to think that I'd make a good trainer. I think a lot about how people do things and how they can do them better, and like... how people think about it. How to be mentally tough. But I also used to think that I was the best," she shrugged. "I thought that maybe I only did this because waitressing sucked and punk rock doesn't pay, and I couldn't really go to college. I made the decision when I was eighteen, and no one's really smart then."

She looked Adrian in the eye. "Look, if you want someone to push you and force you to work hard and all that, fine, I can do that. If you happen to get some confidence just from that, even better. But don't ask me to make you a zen master or some shit."

"Well now that you say it like that..." Adrian said, scratching the back of her head. Neither one of them were well known for keeping it all in check while they went out and did their things. Or afterwards for that matter "If we did, we probably wouldn't be doing this, and I'd be bugging someone else who I blamed for all my woes 'cause I'm an idiot." she eventually mumbled. If either one of them had been in control when the whole rivalry kicked off, it probably could have been nipped in the bud fast. If it was only one of them, the other might still hate them but still. No blood and stuff, no brawling in the street either. Adrian was a stubborn bitch who couldn't let things go, and Taylor was a... something, she wasn't sure what anymore.

But sometimes, being a stubborn bitch who didn't let things go and a ...something... worked out.

"Well... what can I do?" She asked. "I came here for the full week, didn't I? Yeah, I'm probably not gonna get the full 'I am completley devoid of outward emotion and as such can always read your every move. Beep. Boop.' stuff that I might get out of a zen master... if there are any around. But I came here to get run into the ground in a futile attempt that maybe something I learn in training will actually fucking stick and I'm not gonna back out just because it just got really creepy!"

Taylor pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips. She stared off into space while she thought. She had told Adrian she'd train her, and she had fully intended to whip her into shape and toughen her up and teach her the things she thought were so important to a fighter. Could she still do that? Could she do that with anyone? After all her experiences with the Temple Games Team Failure and with Adrian, she wasn't sure she could ever be any help to anyone.

"Adrian..." She said slowly. "It's not pointless. You can do whatever you want. Understand?" She looked her straight in the eye and repeated, very seriously, "You can do anything you want. If you know what it is, don't ever let anyone stop you, and you had better get the hell out of your own way. A'right? Look...

"Here's the thing. We both started when we were teenagers, right? With training and wanting to fight, to be wrestlers and stuff. Right? I did it because it was fun and I had no other options. I couldn't go to college, and I was on my own so I had to make something happen. I was going to kill myself if I had to keep waiting tables, so I found a wrestling gym. That's why I started, but do you know what I really wanted? The whole time, before and after, what I really wanted from everything... I wanted to be safe," she said, her voice heavy. "And I wanted people to like me."

That part was a little more embarrassing. She felt all the time like nobody in the world liked her. Her fans had really helped with that, though. She took a deep breath and continued.

"But I wasn't safe, not here, and people... well, you know, I'm like, not for everybody. Or whatever. Well, shit, nobody likes me but Cass and Kashi. I didn't get it, what I wanted, by being here, and wrestling was keeping me from getting it, so I got out. There's... there's a shit-ton more to it than that, but that's one reason why I quit. My point is that you probably aren't half as pathetic as me, and you probably actually wanted to be a wrestler, or like, a champ or something. I dunno. But if this is what you want, who the fuck can ever tell you that you can't do it?"

"What I want huh..." Adrian mumbled as she tried to calm down. "What do I want?" She mused, "Revenge?" the cosplayer suggested as she started to kick at pieces of gravel on the street. She desperately wanted to beat Natasha, and initially she knew exactly why: the French woman had made her look like more of a chump than she actually was. Why wouldn't she want to re-establish herself? But what was it all for? What was the whole point of trying to be established if not for it's own sake. Taylor wanted security and popularity, what did Adrian want?

"Maybe I just want something I can be proud of, something that later I can look on and smile unironically for once. Kinda... maybe... I don't freaking know!" Adrian just trailed off. "Get on the cover of a magazine, in a good way, get a bit of glory instead of being treated like a joke. Get some fucking acknowledgement that there's been more than one missed opportunity after another."

"And you're gonna get that by dressing up in goofy costumes?" Taylor shrugged. "Maybe just cut the shit. Man, you win a lot of matches by cutting corners and being cheap and all that. You get the wins, but everyone knows what's up. No one respects people who take wins like that. This is Japan, man, people want to see people fight hard. They want to see fighting spirit, ya know, they want to see your unbreakable will, more than they even want to see a good fighter."

She looked down at the ground and put a hand on the back of her neck. "But... I know what it's like, too..." She looked at Adrian and drew back the right corner of her mouth. "I just mean I get it. I guess I want the same thing now, respect, ya know, accomplishment. It still... it still kinda makes me... something that I'm best known for losing to Akashi and throwing the match to you and getting my ribs broken in the ring."

Suddenly her mood flipped around, and the threw up her hands. "Goddammit, you are not going to make me feel bad about myself anymore! Shit! Let's get some fucking food and go practice some more."

"Well... no." Adrian said. "I only did it so I could kind of stand out at first, well... for wrestling anyway... but since everyone knows me now,even if they think I'm a useless bitch, I'm probably gonna drop it. Actually get some decent wrestling gear and all." She tried to explain, "yeah...maybe."

"Ah! Do you have to mood swing right by my ear?" Adrian complained when Taylor snapped out of it all, but still: a smile had crept onto her face, maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all. At least now she was starting to ask the right questions about where she wanted to go with her stuff. Although retiring a large part of her strategy might not be the best bet if she wanted to get achievements, she just had to believe she was still in with a shot at getting those big wins. And if she wanted to hold them she'd do it fair and square, and most importantly... fuck what anyone else thought about it. 'Well its good that you're finally behaving-' Fuck You. 'Now you've learnt to respect-' Double Fuck You. She was Adrian Kytes, one of the most hated women in Japan, and to rub all the salt in the wounds she was gonna do it fairly while pissing everyone off, so when she won no-one could double back on it. "Okay, let's get something to eat... we still okay for Pizza or do we try and find a more healthy place? Like... what's the Japanese Panama Bread?"