So Close, So Far

Tatiana was all too happy to accept the arm coming over her shoulder, nuzzling against Belle’s face in response. Her girlfriend had such strong arms, toned and powerful and thick. It was silly, she knew it, but being this close to her and having that muscle around her made her feel so safe. It was this constant reminder that she had someone who could and would fight for her, if she only asked, and that meant more than she could put into words.

”Don’t beat yourself up over it, it is what it is.” She could hear that tone of self-loathing in Belle’s voice, and she wanted to squash it quick, not let it take root and grow. Whatever Kaylee was doing, it wasn’t her fault. They were two different people.

”The thing is, though...I mean, if this is all legit?” She couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice. ”If it’s real, this would be kind of good. I’d love to live with you, we could see each other so much more, and we could hang out, and oh!” She lit up as a realization hit her. ”We could have a slumber party. I’ve always wanted to have a slumber party. Am I too old for slumber parties?”

She bit her lip and forced some calm to take hold. As exciting as the prospect was, she had to stay focused. ”But I just don’t see how it would work with Valerie. She and Kaylee are cats and dogs, there’s just no way we can have them under the same roof. It’s weird Kaylee would even entertain the idea, and I don’t know how I’d get Valerie to go along with it.”

Belle side eyed Tatiana as she did her thing, taking a thought and letting it run off with her. She liked to let her girlfriend ramble, a bit of a guilty pleasure, just to see where it would lead and how far off the mark of the original idea they landed. It was adorable, part of that youthful energy the acrobat exuded that made it hard to tell that she was Belle's elder, if only by a couple years. The brunette leaned over her girlfriend to give her a small kiss on the lips, resting their foreheads together. "You are, but we can do it anyway." She leaned back, nudging their noses lightly in retreat before sicking back in the booth to eye the paperwork and take another bite of her donut.

It was strange. She had wanted this so much. Any time she was apart from the acrobat she felt a sense of longing and when they were together, she always wished it was easier. Not with the answer set before them, she felt hesitant. Was it because it felt too good to be true or was it a sense of dread that if they started to live with each other that made what they had real. Up until now it was almost like a fantasy scenario, star crossed lovers ducking behind enemy lines… this was big. This was a future with the woman she wanted to be with… and it was scary. If they became a normal relationship, would that spark still be there? Would Tatiana bore of her? Would success under Kaylee's management somehow drive them apart? Every time she came to the point on big commitments something seemed to dismantle her relationships. She didn't want that, this meant too much to her.

Belle sat up a bit in her seat, snapped out of her own lingering doubts at something Tatiana said. She gave a soft inquisitive hum, quickly flipping through the papers again though this time with a more focused pursuit of information. From cover to end she poured over it all in relative silence, taking a bite of her donut or offering a bit of it to her girlfriend to let her know she was still engaged.

"It's just you." Belle whispered softly, speaking out loud to herself for the most part. Flipping back to the start then to the final papers a few times. "You are mentioned by name a few times in here. Valerie isn't, at all. Did she give you both one of these?" She wasn't sure what to think about this. While it raised a few red flags due to existing bias, from a business perspective she could see why Tatiana would be the hot signing. While both members of Novae we're good in their own right, the redhead was definitely the more marketable of the two of them.

Tatiana couldn’t hold back her goofy smile as Belle humored her slumber party idea, sealing with a little kiss. She meant it, too, not just saying it to get her to shut up. A small part of her always worried that she could be too immature for her, that Belle would get turned off by her childish whims. There were so many things that she hadn’t had the chance to indulge in when she was younger, and now she had a chance to at least dip her toes into them. Silly as it was, Belle never mocked her for it, even though she was more mature. So supportive, so caring. It was good to have these reminders of how lucky she was to have the actress in her life.

She’d started to go in for a kiss of her own, when something gripped Belle’s attention. Her kiss misfired, hitting the brunette’s cheek instead, and she looked on with some minor confusion. Something seemed to be taking her interest in the document, but what? Tatiana wasn’t the best English reader, especially when it came to small lines - she probably needed glasses, come to think of it - but she’d read the thing over so many times in the past hour or two that she could probably recite a few parts of it by heart. Had she overlooked something?

As it turned out, yes. Yes, she had.

”No, she didn’t but...wait…” She took a quick bite of Belle’s donut, then started to thumb through it herself, looking for Valerie’s name. Not that she doubted her girlfriend’s word, but… ”That can’t be right. There has to be…” Up there? No. Down there? No. Not in the small print, not in the big print. Tatiana, Tatiana, Tatiana, everywhere.

She straightened up, temporarily leaving snuggle-mode as the realization hit her. This was a future, and it was a future without Valerie. A part of her worried this was just Kaylee’s game, trying to drive them apart, but she’d seemed so sincere about it.

Without even thinking about it, her thumb was in her mouth, nibbling on the nail. ”I…” She looked back at the document, then up at Belle. ”I want this. I want to be with you so much, but...Valerie is my sister. We came here together, we’re a team. It’s just...”

Tatiana took a deep breath, trying to force some calm. ”Why just me? Valerie’s older, smarter, better, cooler. Wouldn’t Kaylee want her, if she was serious about all this?”

Because Valerie was a bitch. She was loud and unlikable. A grating and domineering woman who Belle personally didn't like just based on Tatiana's anecdotes about her. Her being older was also like a negative. While the elder sister of Novae was talented, which no one could take from her, she didn't have the charisma or the "it" factor that made a star. She was set in her ways and did what she did well.

The brunette wouldn't say any of this. She didn't want to upset her girlfriend so instead focused her critique on the redhead. "Well, you are cute and exciting. Likable, tough, humble with all the potential in the world. Not sure I am a good person to ask since it's pretty clear I can see how special you are… not just in general, but to me." Belle made a face at her own words, pulling Tatiana in close with a squeeze.

"I also don't know about all that other stuff. You're the coolest girl I know." Belle gave the small remains of her donut a toss into the open box, shifting in the booth to face Tatiana. With her free hand she reached up to gently cup the girls cheek and stare into her eyes. "I don't know why this is happening now, but I don't think it's wrong. Just think of how much you have improved and grown since you've been here. You're so damn good Tat. Valerie isn't better than you. I know you love your sister but you need to stop comparing yourself to her. You're not her, you will never be her, and that is great. Because you are the Best, with a capital B."

Her eyes had softened, words coming out more as a plea for Tatiana to understand what Belle knew in her heart rather than just some form of uplifting pandering. Blinded by the moment she just wanted her girlfriend to sign those papers and come live with her. Forget Valerie, forget Kaylee. The two of them could just be together and not worry about sneaking around like a pair of criminals… she couldn't bring herself to do that, to ask that, to be so selfish to put Tatiana in that position.

"Talk to her. Valerie I mean. This is your decision, but it's about both of you. I'll support you regardless of what you decide to do."

Maybe it was just the way she spoke, or the fact that she was an actress and had a way with words, or maybe it was just easy for Tatiana to gush over everything her girlfriend did. But Belle had this amazing way of speaking when she wanted, a great way of using her words to get any reaction she wanted out of her. If anyone else, anyone said the thing she was saying, Tatiana wouldn’t have paid them much mind. She would’ve liked the compliments, accepted them, but not given them weight.

Not so with Belle. She had conviction written all over her face, burning in her eyes. She believed everything she said, there wasn't a doubt, and that alone was heartening.

Tatiana’s smile came back in full with a blush to go along with it, and she reached up to take Belle’s hand and hold it in her own. That big, strong hand, capable of wrecking anyone Belle wanted, but so gentle when it came to her. ”Do you know how happy you make me?”

She lowered her head and let it rest of Belle’s chest, nestling in deep. She kept her eyes open just long enough to glimpse at the document one more time, then close them and took a deep breath, getting all of Belle’s scent. She really did smell nice all the time. ”Thank you. For supporting me. For being awesome. For everything.”

Tatiana pulled Belle’s hand towards her, placing it against her chest so she could feel the steady heartbeat. ”We’re going to work. I’ll talk to Valerie, I’ll figure it out. This, what we have? It’s too good to let go. I love this, I love being with you, I…”

She opened her eyes again, surprised at her own words, then closed them with a sigh. ”It’s going to work out. One way or another.”

"Happier than some donuts, I hope." Her tone was monotone but lighthearted in nature, a clear joke with a dry delivery that wasn't uncommon from the actress. Belle wrapped her arm around Tatiana while her girlfriend curled up against her, half hugging the girl while surrendering her free hand. The brunette buried her face in the redhead's hair, kissing the top of her head lightly.

"You don't have to thank me for being awesome. I can't turn that off." She appreciated being thanked for it all, while her smile wasn't seen it could be felt against Tatiana's scalp. She breathed deeply, exhaling a long content sigh. When her hand was brought to her girlfriends chest she had a brief moment where her body tensed before relaxing against her again, listening quietly.

"I know Tat. Hell or high water, right? We'll figure this out." Another soft kiss on the top of her head. "But next time you better save me a Boston cream or else I am leaving you." She couldn't even keep the smirk from coming, likely to laugh if Tatiana did in a chain reaction. She knew they were stronger than whatever all this was, regardless of the choice her girlfriend made they would persist. In her eyes, nothing could tear them apart, not anymore.

Several Weeks Later...

”You’ve got to be kidding me.”

”I assure you, miss, I am not ‘kidding you’.”

Tatiana had never wanted to punch someone in the face more than this moment, right here and now. She was a peaceful person, usually, the sort who really wanted to keep her violence inside the ring, and would’ve gone out of her way to avoid a fight elsewhere. She’d never gotten in a fight in school, never so much as shoved anyone.

But as she stood on the far end of a hallway, a security guard, blocking her every attempt to get around him like a linebacker, she had to fight back the urge to deck him in the face and make a run for it. Her girlfriend was down there, and this idiot was getting in the way.

She could still hardly believe all this was happening. The day had been going so well, perfect. She’d managed to convince Valerie to take a spa day and leave the house to her for the day, which meant that she could watch Belle’s Money in the Bank match without any interruptions. She had her popcorn, her drinks, and was already thinking of the perfect text to send Belle when she came out on top and sent Cicilia packing. Smilies wouldn’t do it, it would have to be something special. Maybe she could send her a sexy pic? She’d never done that before, but she’d never been in a real relationship before, either, so this was uncharted ground. It felt like a relationship thing to do.

But whatever, she was primed, she was ready to go. Belle sent her one last text message right before the big fight…

Belle: Hey beautiful
Belle: About to qualify for that month in the bank match.
Belle: Wish me luck.

Belle was, as always, so confident and strong, and just getting the message gave Tatiana the shivers. This was going to be such a big moment for her, a one-in-a-lifetime chance, something that would define her entire career. That she thought of Tatiana in a time like this…

Tat: You don’t need luck, you have fists.
Tat: stop by my place for the afterparty, if you can!

And now came the big moment. The music started, the crowd cheered, and out came…

”Kaylee?”

If Tatiana’s eyes had widened any further, they probably would’ve popped out of her sockets. Why was she there? Where was Belle? Had she misread the ticket?

Tatiana went to her phone, sent Belle some messages - nothing. She went to Twitter, scoured her account - nothing. It was only when she went to the AFW’s website that she saw the news trickling in, the rumors, the reports, the scuttlebutt…

When she found out what had happened, the exact second she read it, she was up and moving getting on all her clothes at random and bolting out the door. That started her on a journey that took her across the city in record time, taking transit, using a rideshare services, and just running when she had no better option, until she was at the hospital. It was hard to figure out which floor Belle was on, thanks to the security that the AFW had in place to protect Belle. That security was the problem.

”We’re not letting anyone who’s not approved in her room, miss.” The guard once again stepped to the side, blocking Tatiana’s attempt to dodge around him. ”But especially not you or your sister. You two are her rivals, and-”

That got a hard growl out of Tatiana, one that probably sounded more meek than she was going for. Her throat wasn’t used to making aggressive noises. ”She’s not my rival, she’s my-”

Tatiana was just about to say the ‘G’ word when she managed to slam the breaks down, keeping the secret safe. That secret. Months and months and months of secrets and sneaking around and hiding texts and making excuses and acting like she was a criminal for just wanting to be around the most important woman in her entire life. It had been cute sometimes, fun even, but now it had officially reached a tipping point - keeping her from seeing her injured girlfriend.

Tatiana took a step back, closed her eyes and balled her fists, rationalizing this as best she could. Punching this man wouldn’t do her good. He was pretty big, and at best it would just get her sent to jail for the night and probably get people thinking that she was the one who attacked Belle - more people than currently thought it, anyway.  She was getting in the room, there was no question there, but she needed an alternate path. Some way to circumvent security. Something like...

***

A few minutes later and Tatiana found herself outside of the building, scaling along the ledge, three stories up. Belle’s room was luckily overlooking a less busy area of the hospital, so she didn’t have to worry about onlookers, though the risk of falling twenty feet onto solid concrete was a more pressing concern. Still, it was less of a problem for her than it would’ve been for most people. She’d been trained to do stunts like this, was comfortable in the air, had the balance to pull it off. It was just a matter of taking it one step at a time, bit by bit. Feet placement, that was the trick.

...God, she hoped Belle was awake in there. And not being visited by anyone at the moment. And, oh, it would suck if one of the people in the room she was passing by noticed the redhead inching by their window and reported her. Also, it looked like it was about to rain, and that wouldn’t be any fun.

”...bad idea, bad idea, bad idea…”

When she reached the room that she was 90% certain Belle was in, she leaned down and gave the window a knock, leaning down and peering in to see if she was inside. ”Belle?”

How long had it been? Time had lost all value as moments blurred together in a jumbled haze of imagery. An amalgam of bright lights, loud voices and fading pains. It was hard to remember where she was, who she was… she just was. It wasn't due to her injuries that live seemed like a smear on the wall though, it was the drugs pumping through her veins. They had rushed her to the ER, brought her from room to room to run test after test… and now she was alone in her own room, reclined back in a hospital bed, with what seemed to be syndicated episodes of The Golden Girls playing on a television screen mounted in the corner of the room dubbed in Japanese.

She was paper than normal, grabbed in a white hospital gown, placed into a bundled backdrop of likely wise stark sheets that made her lack of color even more obvious. The faint hum of machinery and small boops from the monitoring equipment wired up to her body. Clear bags hung nearby with fluids labeled in Japanese, just outside of her ability to make out of they had finer print elsewhere in English.

She had drifted in and out in a pulled daze though when she heard her name being called her slightly glazed over she opened to sleepily scan the room, not catching sight of Tatiana right away as her brain struggled to catch up to what her senses were witnessing.

"Tat." Her head slowly drifted to the side limply, lips pulled back in a giant smile that seemed uncharacteristically large for the normally stoic brunette. She brought up a hand, pawing at the air, trying to motion her girlfriend to her like a child reaching for their favorite toy… only to have her hand get snagged by the store attached to sensors on her fingers. She blinked, confused for a moment before setting her hand down and reaching with the other, free one.

"You came… that's nice." Her voice was soft and sleepy as if having just rolled over from a long nap. Gesturing the redhead over had been most of she could muster before dropping her hand to the sheets, gently patting her beside. An invitation to join her despite the bed clearly not made to support more than one. "I missed you… I always miss you, hehe…"

Seeing Belle through the glass, watching her as she laid there, hooked up to those wires, barely able to get her hand up to wave her way...it was hard. It was one of the hardest things Tatiana had ever had to endure, a sight that she thought she’d never see, that she couldn’t see. Belle was the strong one, the tough one, this invincible fighter who could take down anyone in the AFW with her fists. When she was in her girlfriend’s arms, it felt like she was in a fortress, like no one could touch.

But here she was. Hurt. Broken. Barely awake.

Tatiana had to get into that room.

”One second, just let me...uh…” She fidgeted about one the ledge for a moment, before she figured out what needed to be done, here. She kicked off her shoe and tossed it into a tree below, then reached over with foot. Even with the socks on, it gave her enough dexterity to grab the window by its lip and lift, opening it high enough for her to reach with her hand and get it the rest of the way. From there, it was a simple matter to drop down, grab the ledge, and slide her way in.

Well, not that simple, she scraped her knee along the way and got a gash, but she paid it little mind. This was a hospital, she could get bandages soon enough. For now, she rushed over to her girlfriend’s side, careful not to mess up any of the wires. She had to resist the urge to reach over and pull her into a hug, knowing it would mess with the setup.

”It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m here.” She took Belle’s hand in her own and leaned over, planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead, just wanting to feel her skin for a second. ”What happened?” She looked her over, trying to make sense of it all. ”Are you okay? How are you...who did this? Why? I mean…” Tatiana bit her lip, trying to control her babbling searching for the right order of words to use in this situation and not turning up much. ”Oh my God. Ohmygodohmygod…”

Tears started to stream down her cheeks, and she wiped them away, only for a fresh batch to replace them a moment later.

Belle hummed pleasantly as Tatiana kissed her forehead, shifting beauty the covers to get more comfortable. Her hand in the redhead's gave a small squeeze as the brunette looked up to the acrobat in a state of drug induced bliss. She seemed happy despite being the most fragile anyone had ever really seen here in recent years. The sudden barrage of question hit her hard, making Belle squint as if having walked into the sun after being locked within a dark prison for weeks.

"Someone hit me… someone? Someones. I think… I think there was two of them." Her eyes drifted to the pockmarked ceiling panels, trying to recall the details. "Yeah. Two. Bikers dudes… or girls? I don't know. They had weapons." The monitor sitting beside the two of them slowly started to beep more frequently with the rise of her heart rate, though it evened out after just a moment.

"I don't kn- I don't know Tat." Her big dumb smile crept away, tucking downward into a frown. She didn't like to see Tatiana crying. Why was she crying? Was this her fault? Had she done something wrong? She looked lost and confused in the moment as a sudden wave of emotion hit her. Normally she was a wall, unmoving, resolute in her mission to be a person Tatiana could always lean on. With drugs pumping through her blood though, her empathy had taken stronger root than it ever had and as a result her eyes were starting to water as well.

"H-hey… don't… please don't..." She reached out again with her hand wired to the sensors, now that Tatiana was close however there was enough slack to actually touch her. Gently she cupped her girlfriends cheek, a thumb brushing her her eyes to sloppily try and wipe away the streaming tears. "Why are you crying?"