~Big Momma Pump Vol.2~

[This character is a parody. All jokes at other wrestlers/wrestler names are meant in good humour, and non-serious. Besides, Laura really is this dumb.]




With the entire roster recovering from their efforts at Avalanche, AFW was once more the thriving company the fans adored. Even more so than usual, given the plethora of events ongoing or on their way.

The Friction World Cup.

The Battle Royale.

Even Tensions own effort at matching the extreme buzz of Avalanche itself with its own PPV.

Whatsmore, the division was littered with new champions. Fans had every reason to attend each and every show with hopes high, even when they knew said champions wouldn't be in show. The simple act of a title exchange sent a message across the locker room; that no-one was untouchable. And given so many titles had just changed hands? Everyone was aiming to outperform themselves in the effort to get a piece of the new action.

With fans hopes once more stacked, arena attendance had greatly increased, overcoming the previous standards prior to Avalanche. With such a fact well aware to one individual, she had set herself out to become the next big thing on the Tension roster, more than confident that as opposed to last time, everyone would hear her roar.

The audience in brief respite after suffering a high octane, mid-card match, they were eager at what the end-night matches had to offer. With the titantron above the ramp lighting up, it became clear their respite from actual wrestling would last but a touch longer, as evidently a promo or video montage was about to be shown.

Or an interview.

Clad with a smile to her face, microphone in her hand, Friction interviewer Madison Heights had found herself double booked as of late. The increase in Tension matches in the build up to the upcoming PPV had left the green-ette conducting interviewers with both men and women, friction and tension alike. The woman she'd be meeting in but a moment was of the latter.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time a new face in the tension ranks. She burst onto the scene but a week ago with some strong words to say, my guest...Laura Leiner."

She-Zilla:

Walking into view of the camera, from what could of been seen of Laura's expression she was as ever, smug. Her eyes hidden from view, the audience was unsure just where the woman's attentions lied. Given her posture coupled with height advantage to Madison, it certainly wasn't at the woman about to interview her.

Curiously enough, there was an odd air of calm about her. She had yet to speak, a oddity given the last time she appeared before the masses, she would not cease.

"Laura, thank you for your time. So let me ask the question on the lips of those who are familiar with you. What are your inte-"

A muscular hand raised before Madison could even finish her query, as Laura's hand quickly snatched the microphone from the smaller woman's hand. Turning her face towards the camera, inhaling deeply, all signs pointed to the woman about to once more verbally explode. And just like last time, shouting every damn word.

"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT." Raising a hand to stress each and every screamed word, it seemed Laura had absolutely zero intention of speaking to the woman now bewildered besides her. And it certainly seemed Madison wasn't about to stop her.

"YOUR TELLING ME MY COMPETITION IS A SCRAWNY LITTLE COW TAMER AND HIS SUPERMODEL BUDDY? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME. I MAKE THE EFFORT TO COME TO THIS DAMN BUSINESS AND THE TOP OF YOUR CLASS IS A COUPLE OF MIDGETS? I'M TALKING TO YOU, CALVIN GASTIN AND YAMI-AMI-PO-SCRAMI. YOU CALL THAT DAMN MATCH A MAIN EVENT?! THE ONLY GODDAMN MAIN EVENT IS THE SHE-ZILLA. I PUT ON MORE OF A SHOW WHEN I DROP THE KIDS OFF AT THE POOL. AND THIS IS MY COMPETITION? THIS, SOME 8 FOOT TALL CHIMP IN A GIRAFFE MASK THAT CALLS HIMSELF A KILLER, AND A COUPLE OF HOMELESS ROYALES WHO CALL THEMSELVES ELITE?"

Whether the fans believed the woman's insults at the top tension stars names was intentional or not, the genuine confusion amongst the masses over this hulking blithering idiot was somewhat unanimous. Laura of course believed herself to be pronouncing each and every name and trait correctly, genuinely believing there existed a eight foot tall giraffe-mask-wearing killer amongst the tension wrestlers, amongst other absurd extreme examples.

Apparently, she wasn't limiting herself to just tension.

"EVEN IF I STEP OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE, AND FIGHT WITH THE REST OF YOU MIDGETS AND CHUMPS, I CAN'T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. THE INSTANT I SAW YOU FATASSES STICK A BELT ON A LITERAL DOLL, BIG POPPA PUMP WAS WEEPING SOMETHING FIERCE. YOU GET A FATASS CALLED GOLDEN FACE AND STICK A HARDCORE BELT ON THAT? YOU MUST BE TRYING TO INSULT THE BAD BOOTY MOMMA. THE ONLY ONE HARDCORE 'ROUND HERE IS YOURS TRULY. HELL EVEN ON THE WALK IN HERE, I WAS MORE HARDCORE THAN ANY OF YOU FATASSES WANNA IMAGINE.

Finally, and shockingly enough, Laura would stop for breath, finally bothering to turn to the smaller, completely rattled woman besides her.

"SO WHAT I BELIEVE, YOU WAS ABOUT TO ASK ME, IS WHAT ARE MY INTENTIONS. I THINK YOU MUST HAVE ME CONFUSED, WITH A CIRCUS ANIMAL. BIG MOMMA PUMP DOESN'T TELL YOU WHAT SHE PLANS. BIG MOMMA PUMP DOESN'T GO OUT THERE AND PUT ON A SHOW FOR ALL YOU FAT ASSES IN THE CHEAP SEATS. LAURA LEINER IS THE WHOLE DAMN SHOW. I TELL YOU WHEN I'M GONNA WRESTLE, AND THAT IS WHEN I THINK YOU UNGRATEFUL TURDS ARE READY FOR THE SPECTACLE. BESIDES, LAURA LEINER CAN'T EVEN GET SOMEONE THAT AIN'T TOO PUSSY TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE!"

Apparently under the impression that she remained completely unchallenged, terrified interviewer Madison Heights would force herself back into the mix. With her voice shaking, of course.

"Erm...Laura...I'm sorry but...you are still yet to actually place your profile up amongst the tension roster. You are...illegible to be challenged..." Speaking as if out of fear Laura would turn and possibly literally bite her head off, Madison would be somewhat confused as to find the 'She-Zilla' completely lost for words.

Not that she'd ever admit it, but Laura simply had zero clue she was meant to make a profile. She simply believed it was something the company would take care for her. Albeit, now that she realised it, she had yet to supply them with any actual information besides her name...

Stuttering at first, Laura would force herself to reply briskly, in a vague effort to play the whole thing off. Whether it worked, was up to the fans.

"I...A PRO-...LAURA LEINER KNOWS, YOU DUMB FATASS. I'LL PUT MY PROFILE UP WHEN I'M DAMN READY. YOU DON'T COME UP TO THE GENETIC FREAK, AND TELL HER WHAT TO DO. YOU THINK YOU COME UP TO ME, AND TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS? NO. LAURA LEINER POINTS TO THE DAMN CLOCK, AND TELLS THE WORLD WHAT TIME IT IS. YOU DON'T SLEEP, EAT OR PISS UNTIL I GIVE A NOD. AND RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? TIME FOR THE GENETIC FREAK TO LEAVE YOU UNGRATEFUL SACKS OF CRAP IN MY DUST..."

Throwing the microphone over her shoulder as she turned her back to Madison, Laura would quickly make her exit, leaving near everyone who witnessed the entire thing lost for words.

Heading home, she'd duck her head slightly to hide her reddening cheeks. Once there, she'd likely actually make one.