~Big Momma Pump~

Another day. Another bland forgettable card.

With the majority of AFW talent recovering from the woe that was Avalanche, or prepping for the upcoming Friction World Cup, the company itself was left somewhat out on the lurch regarding offerings of talent on their weekday showings. The company wasn't exactly suffering; it experienced the same lack of talent every time a heavy event occurred, or another one was about to. Not that the fans appreciated it.

With audible sighs coming from the crowd, the commentators themselves would be left a little lost for words given what they were witnessing. Two lower, nameless members of the roster yet to break the generic mould, going at it in a match that neither seemed to want to throw any interesting moments into.

The crowd seemed too bored to even boo.

As the match began to come to a close, with one girl mounting the top rope to perform what appeared to be her finishing manoeuvre, the lack-luster mid card event seemed ready to close. Only, a sudden noise blaring from the arena speakers would give reason to startle the girl. Not making her outright fall, but she'd soon slip to a sitting posture, turning her head to the titantron to see a flickering of a graphic. Followed, by a very peculiar noise.


The audience soon turning their head to follow suite, at the top of the ramp, they'd witness a figure emerge. Not so much a normal sized figure, or even one recognisable at that.

This figure was big. And jacked. And apparently, female.

Spoiler:

Storming down the ramp at her own pace, the figure apparently couldn't resist flexing her stacked arms to the audience, who were seemingly completely bewildered. Given the looks of the two women in the ring, they weren't the only ones. Clad in that thick black outfit, with silvery-black hair flowing freely down her back, the figure quickly slid onto the side of the ring, before stepping through the middle ropes. The one standing woman in the ring would prepare for the huge figure coming at her, apparently believing she was here for a brawl. Instead, the mysterious figure simply strolled across to the other side of the ring, hand extending to an official on the outside.

"GIMME A DAMN MIC"

With the confused official quickly doing so, the figure would step back towards the centre of the ring, eyes not even falling to the two figures who were just fighting, before she found herself at the ropes, leaning over them, looking sternly towards the main camera in the crowd. One arm crossed, the figure made herself comfortable.

Apparently, she had a few things to say.

Well.

Scream.

"SO LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YA'LL BUNCH O' FATASSES' APPARENTLY DON'T KNOW MY NAME. YOU MUSTN'T, BECAUSE YOU'D BE CHANTING IT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF WIND IN YOUR LUNGS. ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU ALL A GIFT. THE GIFT OF BIG MOMMA PUMP, THE SHE-ZILLA, BAD BOOTY MOMMA, LAURA LEINER!"

The now named figure in the ring didn't seem at all disparaged by the lack of response in general, save for a few coughs and likely-sarcastic woos. She seemed too far into whatever zone she was speaking from.

"SO WE'RE COMING OUTTA AVALANCH-EDDON, WITH YOUR BELTS CLAD ON THESE FAT NO NAME BEAUTY QUEENS. WELL LAURA LEINER WANTS TO KNOW, WHERE DOES SHE WRITE HER NAME DOWN TO BE HANDED A TITLE? YOU GOT ALL THESE WOMEN STROLLING ROUND, WITH GOLD AROUND THEIR FRONTS, AND FAT DANGLING OFF THEIR ASS, AND THIS GENETIC FREAK WANTS TO KNOW WHERE SHE ENTERS THE RAFFLE TO WIN THOSE PRIZES. ONLY, IT'S GOTTA BE RANDOM. OTHERWISE BIG MOMMA PUMP WOULD HAVE THEM ALL CLAD AROUND HER 38 INCH PYTHONS LIKE ARMBANDS."

Completely in her own world now, the muscle bound figure began to stroll back and forth along the ropes, pacing like a woman possessed.

"I'VE BEEN STOOD IN THIS RING LESS THAN TEN MINUTES, AND ALREADY I AM THE BEST DAMN THING TO DO SO. THE VERY FACT THAT MY NAME ISN'T UP THERE ABOVE THE LOGO IS A GODDAMN NATURAL DISASTER. AND A SCREW UP Y'ALL SHOULD BE BOOING THIS BUILDING TO SHIT FOR."

Lowering her microphone to apparently see the reaction of the crowd, Laura's mild smile would disappear, as they still gave the woman literally nothing to work with.

"I'M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND AMUSE ALL YOU UNGRATEFUL SACKS OF CRAP GLARING BACK AT ME, IF Y'ALL ARE TOO STUPID TO CHEER. IMMA TAKE MY LEAVE, AND LEAVE ALL YOU GREASY HAIRED CHUMPS WATCHING THE REST OF THIS BIG-MOMMA-LESS SHIT SHOW. LAURA LEINER IS ONLY HERE TO GIVE YOU FIVE WORDS, AND THOSE FIVE WORDS ARE TO YOU WOMEN IN THE BACK. 'I'M. COMING. FOR. YOU.'"

Apparently completely unaware of her inability to count, Laura would throw the microphone over her shoulder, before heading for the ropes. Satisfied with what just occurred, the muscle bound brute slid through the middle ropes before dropping to the side of the ring, flexing one last time before heading back up the ramp.

All without saying a damn thing to the two figures in the ring.

Who were just like the audience, completely bewildered.