Re: Confessions

[quote="hamish1024":cxsl9t0g][quote="kamina_tamotsu":cxsl9t0g]Erm....well....perhaps I've gone on abit too long without putting something here but ....I got some confessions.

For while now, maybe since last September, I felt like I don't really am part of the AFW community. I guess rightfully so.... My two male characters are part of mainly what is a sideshow...and I don't feel competent enough with my female character to be accepting matches for her left and right. I also don't post regularly....But... I've been really wanting to get back get into everything. However, when I try....it doesn't seem like anybody is there.

I guess I should explain. My perception of the forum has mainly been that of rejection. First off, I don't really have many friends on here. I have yahoo messenger, but I feel like I should even bother iming the people I have on there. I've feel like I'm looked at strangely at just for pming someone "Hi, How are you doing?" Like what....are we not suppose to do that or something? Most of the people I've asked through PM about getting a match together have either turned me down for a variety of reasons, mainly because they don't do Tension, or don't reply at all. Call me self-centered if you want, but you can see what they may have on my perception of the forum. Its happened to me enough times over the last couple of months and Its gotten to a point where I feel like no one wants to rp with me. And I don't know why..... Is it me? Do I suck at roleplaying? Is it my characters? Lots of questions....All of which go mainly unanswered....Geez its so bad that the few matches that have come my way I just turn down.

I also have a sense that some people on here just don't like. I suppose thats to be expected but....it makes it harder for me to even ask people for a match anymore.

So I guess the short of it is, I don't know what to do. I wanna have cool storylines like i've seen other people have for their characters. I just don't feel like I can do that here.... " title="Sad" />

Ok, tough love. Firstly, yes, no-one likes tension, so that does put you on the back foot. Secondly, yes, it is weird to PM people just to say hi (although I'm British, and we reject friendliness in all its forms, so that could just be me). Thirdly, matches are a lot of effort, and a lot of people on this forum aren't actually very good at them all the time (myself included) - and shit matches are a waste of time - so people are going to be very reluctant to invest time in something where, chances are, they won't get anything out of it.

So yeah, you are being self centered. Don't just PM "Hi" or "Wanna match?". Post in notice board, i.e. where people actually look when they want matches. And if you want storylines, great, but do some of the work in advance so people know they're not wasting their time. Characters? Content? Competitive or clusterfuck? Post match ideas and potential plots that you are looking for participants in.

I'll be honest, I don't even know if you are one of those one-line RP people who just ask "wanna match?" repeatedly and have no-dimensional characters. I'm mainly venting at them. You might be exempt.

[KillerV]

I just add 'former rosters' in my member blogs, realized, I had so many of em and I know Im gonna make more rosters >.<

[Bluemouse]

I'm pretty afraid of the dark, which is one reason why I like camping so much. It scares me to death to be in the middle of nowhere in a tent in the dark with no one else around. Most of the night I just lay awake, tense and listening to every little noise, and I like how the light from the moon creates shadows in the dark.

[acuyra]

The kawaii league creeps me right the fuck out.
I think Aliens 3 is a vastly underrated movie.
I find big, strong, muscle-bound women to be incredibly sexy.
I can't do a shoryuken motion on a control pad to save my life.
I tell people I hate Transformers, but I always go to watch the movies. Even went to a midnight showing, once, which is actually something of a trick since I usually get off of work around midnight.
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shot the deputy.

[HighFly]

I feel like I must confess....

One time while playing pickup basketball I got dunked on by Patrick Chewing.

I am old fashioned. When I do a victory pose or dance its not a pelvic thrust, nor a fist pump... I prefer the Charleston. Thank you and good day.

[Teenwrestler]

While playing FIFA with friends, if they get a penalty against me, I cheat by looking at their controllers to figure out which direction they are going to take the penalty kick " title="Razz" />.

[Bluemouse]

I pelvic thrust like a motherfucker.

[Cy_Man]

Today made me realize just how much of an outcast and a nobody I really am.

While everyone else is in a group with their friends talking about god knows what I'm just that one person you clearly see out in the open but is invisible until they say something to them that know one cares at all about. As all the good things that keep happening to me it gives others more material to bully me, my age, my car, my interests and likes, and my internship, it will never stop and just keep getting worse. Even if I am brought into a social group I can never talk about whatever it is anyone else in the group talks about, being the only one who is silent that gets left out and then eventually leaves which doesn't get noticed even when I say I'm going. Whenever I try to talk to someone or greet them to be nice, they just ignore me and pass me as if I was never there like a ghost that everyone wanted to disappear. On the rare occasions that I do get to actually talk to someone, I don't even know if I can truly open up to them and trust them considering I've been betrayed by a bunch of would-be friends over the years. I even lost the one I love who barely talks to me anymore and doesn't come to me if she is troubled or asks for help when I clearly offered to help and support her if she has any troubles at all. In a world full of so many people around me with many opportunities to try to socialize and make friends with, none of them work and people just avoid me and treat me like I am a deadly plague.

I've never been more alone....

[Deus001]

Yesterday was my girlfriend's birthday, I live in Edinburgh and she now resides in Aberdeen. When we were both in high school it was great, we had a lot in common. We weren't all that liked in our social circles, plus we both had Fathers who skipped out on us. Back then I was 16 and she was 14, she left sometime after the summer holidays. Without nary a word till after she left.

We still maintain touch with each other, although so far since she left I've only seen her around October. The fact that I'm not there in person for parts of her life tends to demoralise me quite a bit, but we refuse to leave one another. On her birthday she said she'd call me back later, she and her Mom were going to meet her Mom's new boyfriend.

I thought "Fair enough." only she didn't, now I'm a bit peeved. Send her a teddie, a hat with cat ears and Bleach memoires of nobody and that's what I get? " title="no no.." />

[Deus001]

I swear sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, if it's not on this site then it's with college and my GF. " title="Sad" />

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