Everything is Totally Sweet

Army was right. Ro could and WOULD catch him, especially if he had this crazy blue lady on his shoulders. As far as Ro was concerned, she’d run him down at short, long, medium, or any distance. She had very high opinions of what her powerful legs could do. After all, Army had felt how strongly her powerful thighs could crush on many occasions.

Then, Imugi said it. Well, almost said it. Boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Well, Ro wasn’t actually surprised. The last time she’d seen Army, in their explosive backstage fight, he’d mentioned he was seeing someone. Ro assumed whomever it was must have been very, very important; a girlfriend without question. Would anything less been enough for Army to reject her advances?

But Imugi stopped. And Army looked…confused? Or, in any event, desperate to change the subject. Could Ro have been wrong? Was this just some kind of a fling?

Oh, no, it was worse than that. They didn’t even know what their relationship was, did they?

Great.

She raised her eyebrow and looked the two of them up and down as they made their way into the restaurant. “Your boyfffffffffffff, of course.” Ro smirked. “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t want to interfere with you and your boyfffffffffffffff. What exactly is a boyfffff, again? Is that like a fuck buddy? Tag partners with benefits?” She said with a smirk, then she leaned in and nudged Army in the ribs.

OF COURSE, Ro wasn’t going to let it go. If they were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend then they should get on with it and stop tempering her. If they weren’t, then Blue should get out of her way.

Meanwhile, the three of them took a seat. She smirked and leaned back, stretching a bit as she looked at the menu. “Ohhh, yeah! They’re here. Even got our old rental back. John works as like….a security…guard…boss? Or something, I’m not sure. Amanda’s thinking about coming back to the ring. But, you know, she’s busy with school and boring stuff.” Ro said, shaking her head a bit. “Why, hoping for another kinky rematch with her?”


Ro chuckled. As she did, she stretched her arms and legs a bit as if working out a sore muscle….Army was right, she immediately did try to play footises. Ro tried to reach her foot across the booth to Army…but found her path too awkward. Unfortunately for Army, he’d fallen victim to one of the classic blunders (the most well known of which was to never get involved in a land war in Asia). But, only slightly less well known was never to underestimate Ro’s ability to flirt and be disruptive all at the same time.

Her foot couldn’t reach Army, but it could reach Imugi. “Or…” It slid gently up the inside of Imugi’s thigh as Ro pretended to stretch out her leg, using it as an excuse to fool around. “Did you scout out a good opponent for her in the women’s locker room?” Se said with a smirk. “Though, if Blue here is good enough to tame you, she might be out of Mandy’s league.”

Holy shit, never in her life had Imugi been more tempted to kick someone's head off.

It wouldn't have even been a particularly hard decision for her. She’d lead a life up to now of basically doing whatever she wanted, when she wanted. For most of her life, she’d only ever lived on her own, entirely focused on her own needs with the consequences of her actions far far away in another world. She’d done so well at keeping others at an arm’s length that the feeling never had time to set in. What was there to worry about when you had no one close?

Maybe that was the reason for the very uncharacteristic slip of the tongue that spilled from Imugi’s mouth. A momentary kink in her cool and placid armor that was only made all the bigger by Army’s sudden stumble, causing her arms to shoot out to either side on a gut reaction before he stabilized himself. Her wish that that half-finished word had gone unheard on his ears at least was clearly one that was just not meant to be. To say she was out of her element would have been somewhat of a disservice to the unusually rapid beat of her heart and the heat sticking to her cheeks. The Ice Queen of Korea could hide her emotions better than the average pop star, but only for so long. The further they drew to that restaurant door, the further away it seemed to be.

It would probably be a lot closer if Ro’s mouth were more familiar with the prospect of keeping shut for more than two seconds at a time. It would explain the red hair at least. Imugi folded her arms, looking off to the side and pretending to look at the very interesting brickwork above the restaurant doors.

“Why am I not surprised you haven't heard of one before?” She muttered under her breath.

At least the restaurant was a quaint little place. Way better than any of the diners she and her team used to frequent before morning recitals. The bar was busy, the waiters were all young and active, cozy yet slightly retro colors. There was a clear American influence to it all that could only really remain relevant in a tourist hotspot like Kyoto.

Imugi leaned into the booth and rolled herself out into the It put her in a bit of a better mindset knowing she at least had some good food to look forward to now. Now that they’d actually stopped moving for a while, the solid hour and a half of walking around was coming down on her like a sack of bricks. Her lazy eyes shut closed for a moment as she crossed her hands behind her head. It wasn’t like she could understand what Army and Ro would be talking about anyway. If they wanted to catch up, that was fine. Hopefully, service would get to them soon. The Korean girl kicked her feet back under the booth table, stretching out her calves a bit and flexing those toes underneath her-what the hell was that?

Her deep blue eyes snapped open to a sight that was becoming annoyingly familiar way too fast: Ro’s face, smiling right at her, at the exact same time she felt another brush against her bare leg. One that got too close to her thigh for comfort.

Really? Really?

“Hey guys!” A waitress came around Army’s shoulder and placed herself at the head of the table, standing smiling between the two parties. "Welcome to Nobu! I’m Kiko and I’ll be your server. Can I get you some drink-FUCK ME!”

Cups and cutlery flew into the air as the table exploded from a violent bang from underneath. The sound of ringing metal carried out across the diner, turning every head their direction. Specifically towards Army. Obviously it had to have been the biggest guy in the room that was making all that ruckus. Typical, disrespectful foreigner. Not in any way was it that 5’2” Korean girl swinging her leg with all the might she could muster to smash Ro’s foot up against the hardwood and turn it to mush inside of her shoe. Crazy.

The incredibly tense moment of silence that followed would only be broken by a lone finger and a kind smile as Imugi stuck her head out and addressed the woman with the notepad. “Orange juice, please.”

Ro’s eyes went wide as her foot was smashed. She literally bit her tongue, trying to suppress a roar of surprise, anger, and pain as their feet crashed together. Her toes exploded in pain and her foot twitched wildly under the table.

Oh, this bitch.

She wanted a fight instead of flirting? Fine. Ro could have a foot fight.

Ro’s eyes locked with Imugi’s as she moved her free foot under the table, trying to swing behind the leg Imugi had kicked out with. She was aiming for a swift kick into Imugi’s already tired calf muscle under the table. As Ro swung, the table began to buck and bounce.

“Gingerale.” Ro grunted out without looking to the waiter. She was far too focused on trying to pin Imugi’s leg to the table and dig the tip of her boot into Imugi’s calf.

Imugi was the oil, Ro was the lit match, and Army was the poor barrel that was tasked with containing it all. How the hell had he fallen into this situation?

He took a quick second to rub his temples, massaging them to fight back the oncoming situation. He fucked this up, he could unfuck it, he just had to figure out the right path. It wasn’t like he could ever get them to be friends or even friendly, but if they could maybe coexist on the same island, it would be a welcome development. Because this wasn't’ going away, ever. Running away was just going to make it worse.

He gave Imugi a quick look over, seeing how she was reacting, and it wasn’t a common sight. In the time he’d known her, she’d come off as cool 96% of the time. In control. Honest, sure, but good at getting that honesty out in whatever way she wanted. It was rare to see her letting that shield down, which made the moments where she did that much more precious. Like there were two Imugi’s - the one that he shared with the world and the one that came out in the quiet moments, when they were together and alone and whispering, when she was dropping names in his ear that few people even knew. Important, earned moment.

It was something he loved to see in her, most of the time. Here, though, the sword was cutting the wrong way. Hated that.

But, for the moment, things took a calm turn. She was easing back, showing some cool, letting the heat vent. Things were still icy, but it looked like they weren’t getting much worse.

And then came the kick. His arms shot wide open along with the rest of the restaurant, as he looked towards Imugi with a twitching brow. It only took half a second to connect the dots, figure out what was happening, and know, without a doubt, what was coming next.

Ro retaliated, of course, and while he couldn’t see what was happening underneath the table, he knew he needed to get in the middle of it. He shot out both his legs at once, trying to part them with each one and keep them that way.

Probably a losing effort. But he had to try.

”Fuck, uh…” He grimaced as he spread his legs, doing his best impression of a human wall. ”I don’t know. Surge? Got any Surge?”

”Surge? What is-”

”Mountain Dew!” He spat out and winced as he continued to try and part the Red Sea with his thighs. ”Mountain Dew’s fine, thanks.”

Ro wanted to kick? Imugi could kick. Imugi could kick all day until the sun went down. Whether or not the restaurant would still be here afterward was another story.

In the back of her mind, she was completely aware that she'd just been goaded by this woman. She was dangling the bait and the Korean chomped down with zero hesitation. The entire restaurant was looking their way but her eyes remained laser-focused on the redhead practically burned center frame into the middle of her gaze.

Ro tried to counter her kick with a hook to one side, but Imugi was there with a more powerful left that looped around the shin and smacked it out of the way into the tabletop. Imugi went to follow up until something stomped her in the knee; something that may have been aimed for her crotch if her aim wasn’t so trash. The most it got out of Imugi was a slight wince, a flicker of the brow that passed too quickly to notice. Imugi reeled a leg back to try and show her how it was done until a thicker, heavier limb got in the way. Two to be precise. Imugi’s deep blue eyes flashed to the side for half a second before she clued into the obvious. Army was trying to get between them. Valiantly so.

Imugi wasn't letting up though. Not unless Ro did first. First impressions of this colossal pain-in-the-butt of a woman told her how likely that would be the case. She kept thumping and jabbing with small but powerful kicks that could have easily knocked Ro out if they were aimed a few feet higher. The table shook with the weight of their epic battle. The Puerto Rican peacekeeping coalition seemed to be making little headway in getting the Korean-American front to separate. Cutlery fell to the floor with tiny metallic clangs and their menus slipped far across the tiles before their server could grab them. She didn't even bother to pick them up. Just tore the page out of her notepad and walked away with a scowl.

“Ooooooooooooooookayyy. Back in a minute. [Fucking gaijin…]” She muttered off. Another kick below the surface hit their table leg straight on, sending the whole thing wobbling. Army was quick to shut that down.

"Nononononononononookayokay. Okay! Okay!” Imugi threw her hands up quickly and leaped up in her seat, signaling surrender. She tried to sneak a couple more nudges before Army’s interference started seriously messing up her aim. The Korean threw him a stink eye and folded her arms. She crisscrossed her legs in her seat with what little legroom she had beneath the tabletop and looked out the window, watching the tidal wave of tourists and rush-hour salarymen pass them by.

“Kids drink ginergale.” She said to no one.

Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. This was fun! Ro loved this game—it was easy to love games that you essentially win by default. Imugi would probably be fast and deadly compared to the heavier Ro in the ring, but locked up under a table? The longer legs would win. Especially when Ro was deliberately trying to hit the painful nerve cluster in her thighs…

Not that Ro wasn’t in pain. Imugi kicked hard. VERY hard. Maybe with the same force as Ro, despite her smaller stature. But, again, there was just too much in Ro’s favor.

Ro grinned and slammed both palms on the table, sitting up and nearly knocking everything over. “HA! I win!” Ro roared out, causing practically the whole restaurant to look over at the loud gaijin with shock on their faces. A few years ago, many of the customers might have recognized Ro the famous AFW wrestler…now, she didn’t seem too noticed. Just another loud, obnoxious, obstreperous American.

“You!” She pointed to Army. “I should say I WOULD have won if you weren’t interfering. Next time I’ll kick ya in the nuts. Also Mountain Dew lowers your sperm count.” Finally, Ro decided to stop looming over the table and sit back down. She seemed done kicking, making the underside of the table relatively safe for Imugi’s legs again. “Also you’re drinking orange juice, squirt.” Ro said with a chuckle, this time directing her comment to Imugi.

It was clear that Imugi was annoyed—not that Ro cared. But Ro did like to see a fair distribution of misery, and she was annoyed that Army interfered in their little under-the-table match. “I can see why you two are a good couple, Blue Hair Lady kicks hard.” Ro said with a chuckle. “So…which one of us is the better lay?” Ro’s question was phrased so flatly and matter of factly, as if it were an unimportant addendum like ‘how was the weather?’, that one might have missed what she was asking at first glance. Ro was sure Imugi wouldn’t miss it, and either way it would spread some misery back to Army.

And thus, the craziest day of Army’s life continued.

They were a Puerto Rican, a blue-haired Korean, and a red-haired American, so they would’ve drawn attention if they’d been completely silent. But the ruckus they were making drew eyes for all the wrong reasons. Some patrons were pretending not to notice, trying to get engulfed in their conversations and only sending the occasional nervous glance their way. A few were giving them heavy glares, and sending whispers to their waiters whenever they passed by. One guy looked like he was about to stand up and come over, but then he seemed to realize that Army was about twice his size and thought better of it.

It was a deteriorating situation, so he was relieved beyond words when the two of them called a cease fire. His shins would be paying the price for a few days, but it was worth it. He returned Imugi’s icy stare with an apologetic shrug, then eased back in the seat, breathing a heavy sigh of relief.

It didn’t last long. In fact, he hadn't even finished sighing when Ro announced her victory to the entire archipelago.

”No, it doesn’t.” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the comment, though he did start casually Googling ‘Mountain Dew sperm’ on his cell phone with a few light taps, not wanting to be too obvious about it. His sperm was the least of his worries at the moment, though.

For a second, a brief instant, he had some relief. Ro gave Imugi a complement, and better yet, it was about her fighting ability. Kicking. Yes, yes. Let’s talk about fighting. Something all three of them enjoyed. They could have a nice, peaceful conversation about a shared interest. That would be great.

But then Ro had to go and ask the question. That question. The absolute worst question she could have asked. Time froze for Army as he looked with a blank, empty gaze, a deer in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler.

The truth was that, really, he didn’t know. He liked sex with both of them, but it had been a long time since he’d had sex with Ro, and he couldn't even begin to objectively compare. What would the criteria even be? They were different women and they had sex in different ways.

But he couldn't say that. He knew he couldn't say that. As far as he could see, he had three, maybe four choices.

He could say that Ro was better than Imugi. A very, very bad idea, considering he was currently dating Imugi and he would like to continue doing that.

He could say that they were equal. This was arguably a worse idea than the first one, implying that they were sexually interchangeable.

He could say nothing. This was the wild card and the most mature answer, but it would lead them to form their own opinions about why he was staying tight-lipped. Wasn’t sure he liked that.

Finally, he could say that Imugi was better. This seemed like the smartest idea of all. It’d make Ro mad, but hell, she put him there in the first place. And she was cool. She wouldn’t get too mad, right? Right. Okay.

Time unfroze. Deep breath. ”GodfuckingdamnitRo.” He muttered under his breath as he leaned back, closed his eyes, and let fly. ”Imugi.”