What Now?

Valley wanted to tell Kaylee so many things, had so many words she could’ve filled the silence with. She could’ve yelled at her, told her off for all the trouble that had happened, blamed her for everything. She could comforted her, told her everything was okay. She could’ve congratulated her on the win and given her some pointers to grow on.

She didn’t do that. Didn’t do that. She just sat there, and watched as Kaylee left with quick feet, wanting the awkwardness to be over. Couldn't blame her, really. There would be far enough of that to go around tonight.

This time Valley didn’t even bother blowing Ace’s cell phone - she needed to see her girlfriend, face to face, before any words were exchanged. She left the stadium, nice and prompt, after changing into her jeans and her Rolling Stones shirt - by cosmic coincidence, the same outfit she’d worn when she and Haley met for the first time, all those years ago.

After a long drive and a long walk up the stairway, Valley found herself standing in front of the apartment door, summoning her strength before she walked in. After a harsh, haggard sigh, she opened the door and stepped inside, dropping her gym bag by the entrance right after.

”Babe?” She made her way in, looking about. ”Haley, you home?”

"In the kitchen babe!"

Haley called back, pouring some tea into a cup. She had never really been a tea girl before, but one of the things her new friend Gwen...man that still felt weird to say...had been teaching her about was the different variety of teas and their purpose. While she had been injured, Haley had sort of taken on the "housewife" role, so to speak, between the two, often trying her hand at making nice dinners for her and Valley after her lover had a rough match.

She was no expert cook, but she did well enough...sometimes at least. Most of the time, she just ordered from some fancy plac instead.

She turned towards Valley as the older woman entered their kitchen, about to offer her the tea...until she noticed the look on her face. She quickly put the cup down, made for the fridge, instead pulling out a nice cold bottle of beer.

"Here. You uh...you look like you can use this..." She said, not asking about the match with Kaylee. She didn't need to. She saw it, Valley knew she saw it. "You uh...you doing alright?"

Haley’s voice had this chirpy, melodic tone to it that Valley loved, but she was surprised to hear it from the kitchen. This wasn’t like the last time she’d had to watch while another woman embraced her girlfriend in the ring. That time, she’d been quick to dispel Kaylee with a slap, something helped put things at ease, or so it seemed. This time? She had no such crutch to help her out. She had to explain how she not only let a younger, less experienced woman get the better of her, but what happened with that grapevine stretch…

Yeah. She was not looking forward to this.

She came in and sat down at table, eager to accept the beer. Truth told, she was more of a wine woman, but tonight she needed the buzz, and she didn’t much care what the source was.

”I’m fine. Thanks.” She took a few swigs, let them work their way down her gullet, and continued. ”I’m sorry you had to see all of...that.” She propped her head up on the table. ”I talked to Haley, and she called the whole thing off, so, yeah, I’m not going to...you know.” She shook her head, wanting to get that out into the open ASAP.

With a long, exasperated sigh, she folded her arms up on the table and plopped her head on the top. ”I think I’m having a midlife crisis.”

Make no mistake, Haley wasn't at all happy about the match, the outcome, or the deal that was supposed to follow. By all reasoning, she deserved, and perhaps, should have been pissed at Valley and Kaylee.

But...this was AFW. Their lives were full to the brim with sexy women and violence and general insanity. She had accepted that SOMETHING like this was bound to happen someday...but damnit, she loved Valley, Valley loved her, and she REFUSED to let AFW and its general insanity do anything to split her and Valley apart again.

If that meant occassionally having people try to fuck her girlfriend and having to beat those people up, so be it.

Eager to sit and talk with her distraught girlfriend, Haley grabbed her tea, taking a sip...and promptly dumping it down the sing and grabbing a bottle of wine and a glass instead.

Classic Canadian Icewine, imported, her mothers favorite. Taste took a little getting used too, but went down smooth, and the golden color always reminded her of home in a way.

"It's alright. We knew what you were getting into...I kinda feel its my fault a little, I've trained you too well with ear nibblings...though the camera guy really didn't need to get close up of it. He's getting a super kick soon..."

She went to take a drink, only to look up, surprised. "She called it off? Well, I mean, thats great news, isn't it?"

She smiled, but frowned soon after. "You uh...you don't look too happy about it..."

She didn’t look too happy, did she?

Valley sat back and looked straight on, trying to compile her thoughts into a meaningful whole. Trying to understand herself. She was off the hook. The Sword of Damocles that had been held over her head for so long was gone. Kaylee was going to be out of her life, out of their lives. She should’ve been happy. Ecstatic, even.

So why wasn’t she?

”I don’t know. I honestly do not know.” She steepled her fingers, closed her eyes, desperate to find some clarity. She took a little bit of the icewine and mixed with her beer, because why not, and worked on finishing it off together.

”I guess…” She started after a moment and only stopped after she’d taken a nice, long look at her girlfriend, settling on honesty as the best policy. ”I think that a part of me, a small part, was looking forward to it. And I’m not proud of that part, and I don’t embrace it, and I hate that it was there. But at the same time, I can’t just pretend it wasn’t there, you know?”

She groaned and dug her fingers into her hair, combing the strands. ”I hate that. You’re all the woman I should ever need or want, and I’m sorry for it. We’re not like Mariah and Bubbles.”

Haley winced. Icewine was good...beer and Icewine...couldn't have tasted good. She stayed quiet though, letting her love say what she needed to, though, she couldn't help but smile a little as Valley grew frustrated.

"Well, I mean...you can't really beat yourself up over that Val. It's only natural you'd be attracted to her. I mean, cmon. She's a smoking hot 19 year old in a bikini rubbing herself against you, you'd have to be sterile not to be turned on for that. I mean, lemme tell you, you put Natalia The Dream in a bikini and walk her past me, I'd have to take you to bed right then and there, ya know?"

She took another drink, letting the cool liquid flow down her throat before continuing. "I mean, believe me, I'm flattered that you feel I should be the only woman you want, but I mean, its only natural. We are surrounded by the hottest women ever on a daily basis, I'm not going to hold it against you just because you had a natural impulse...besides, if I did, then I wouldn't be able to dress up as Clara Wonder like I did for you last week..."

She giggled, expecting to get a laugh, or smile out of Valley. When she didn't though, Haley put her glass down, leaning in a bit closer, starting to realize what she meant. "You uh...didn't mean it that way, did you?"

Beerwine wasn’t that bad. Kind of tangy, to her tongue. Valley smacked her lips at the taste of it, then focused forward, taking in what Haley was saying as best she could in her addled brain.

”That’s true. We are surrounded by temptation, there’s no getting around that.” She tapped the side of the glass. ”I just feel that’s not the best excuse, you know? I’ve wrestled hot women before. I even had a rematch with Chris Morgan, and that was after we had our whole...thing.”

That ‘thing’ being the time Valley and Haley split up, and the Slamazon had some steamy sex with the Wrestle Angel in the interim. Probably not the best time to bring that up, really, but she was trying to work to a point.

This wasn’t an easy thing to say or get out, but it was now or never, she figured. Haley was the most reasonable, understanding woman she’d ever met. If she couldn’t do this here, she couldn’t do it ever.

”Like, imagine I have two brains. The first one is devoted and it doesn’t want to hurt you and it’s fine with our relationship.” She held out on one hand, open palm. ”The other, though? It had this hot, young girl on top, and it wanted her. It wanted her bad.” She held out the other hand, another open palm.

[color=#ff00ff]”That’s what’s driving me crazy. I’m trying so hard to make these feelings go away, but they won’t. They just won’t.”[color] She brought her palms together with a clap, emphasizing the struggle. ”I don’t know how to get them out. I’m trying, but I can’t.”

Haley nodded, listening to Valley explain her issue, taking a long sip of icewine before pouring herself some more.

To Valley, her sileince might have come off as silent judgement and disapproval, but in truth, was quiet contemplation.

This wouldn't have been true years ago, when they first got together, and Haley was the same hot head that split with Valley over stupid reasons the first time.

No, since they got back together nearly 4 years previously, the 23 year old had grown, and learned to be far more supportive and understanding with situations like this. Frankly, with all the temptation around (such as her own sexual escapades with Blossom and Miss USA during her and Valleys break), she knew she'd have to be.

Taking another sip, she sat down again, looking over her lover. "Val...did I ever tell you...about my... "first time"?"

Things got silent after Valley said those words, and she found herself wishing that Haley would just yell at her and get this all out. That was probably the most unsettling bit about it all - not the response, but the lack of one.

So many women would’ve been screaming at Valley by now. Would’ve thrown things at her, called her names, been insulted that she would put them through this and jeopardize their relationship over such silly, petty things.

Haley, however was not ‘many women’. She was unique, that was one of the reasons Valley loved her so much, and that uniqueness took her by surprise when she asked a question that seemed to come from left field.

”I...don’t think so?” Valley shook her head, after taking a moment to scan through her memory banks and come up empty. ”I feel like I would’ve remember it if you did, so no.”

Curious now, she put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. ”What was it like?”

Oh yeah, she was defintely getting drunk tonight.

"It's...not exactly one of my finer moments. When I got permision to first start my career, I didn't leave home straight away, not for the first couple of years. It was basically a concession for my parents allowing me to drop out. Also it was for legal issues and such. Hard to get your own place at 16, even when you have money."

She took another sip, now on her second glass. Not drunk, not even really buzzed yet, but it did make her feel more comfortable talking.

"That time period, having to live at home in Canada, but also train...just really sucked. Couldn't really travel, couldn't attend more than local-ish wrestling schools, couldn't ge the experience I wanted...and then being just stuck under their roof half the time as well. "

She stretched a bit, raising her legs up to rest them on Valleys lap. "It's funny really. I had always wanted them home more, then when I got to spend more time with them, all I wanted was to be gone wrestling. Irony I guess.

Anyway, I ended up having to attend a lot of social functions with them. Banquets, private dinners, buisness trips. I guess it was their way of trying to make up for lost time...but it still sucked. I felt so completely restrained. Dress this way, act this way, be this person in the fancy dresses when the person you want to be is in a singlet and sweaty and in a ring..."

"Anyway," she continued, "Once I was 18, I left as soon as possible, and traveilng to wrestling schools and indy feds and such. I met this woman...older, mid 20's...American, actually...from...I think New York...maybe Boston actually...had one of those "famous" American accents.

Anyway, she worked the local indy circuit, helped with some of the trainees, and any talented ones she would do a match or two with. We hit it off pretty quickly, she helped teach me a few things, then we worked the local circuits together. Same deal, every time, we'd do a wet T-shirt or bikini contest, fans would vote for one of us to win, usually her, since she had tits and I didn't, then one of us would "get mad" over it and challenge for a match. She won every time. That's why she liked working with the rookies. She was mediocre in the ring really, but good enough to toss the trainees around, ya know? Then we'd enjoy whatever town we were in and move on. Once she found out I had real money...oh man. Nightclubs, strip clubs, she'd sneak me into bars, local concerts...So much stupid shit...but it felt AMAZING to me...I had been so constrained, spent so much time forced to keep my own wants and needs pushed down while at home....that it was very liberating getting to be stupid and wild and bikini clad and such."

Another drink, starting to feel a slight buzz now. Good icewine.

"The first time...I don't remember a lot of it, we were drunk after a show, partying in the hotel room...and we just started making out...and it went from there. I had a couple girlfriends back home, but those...I mean, schoolgirls ya know? We held hands and kissed, nothing more than that, and even that was just in private so word didn't get out. This though...it just felt amazing and free..."

She finished her glass, didn't bother with another yet. "It didn't last of course, it was just a fun fling for her, a chance for her to use some rich girls money and party, and I was ready to move on elsewhere....Mexico was after that, where I met Silver King and got REAL training and learned my skills and earned my name and such.....My point though, Valley...is I had spent years being restricted and feeling constrained and unable to really let out my wild side and live my desires and liberate myself, ya know? I did some stupid shit in that time, but I NEEDED that, to just do my thing, and not worry about judgement or upholding an image or any crap like that. I...never saw or contacted her again. Never really saw the need I guess, and I certainly didn't start fucking my way around the world or anything dumb like that...but it was a good time, and it was something I needed at the time...and I can't help but be grateful for it."

She took Valleys glass, taking a sip of the IceBeer combo, and promptly gagged before handing it back.