Hypocrite's Confession

"Shout At The Devil" by Motley Crue began to play loudly throughout the arena speakers, white smoke appearing on the stage as the crowd rose their feet when Bonnie Gastin slowly strolled out onto the iron stage, riaisng her hands to the cheering crowd before taking a deep breath and making her towards the ring at a slow, paced rate, passing up fans with outstretched hands befores liding into the ring, Bonnie made her way over to grab a mic before heading to the center of the ring, the crowd going quiet.

Her hair long blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail, wearing a deep blue sports bra, black running shorts and a sweater tied around her waist, on her feet were her signature white sneakers. She looked like she ready for a workout rather than competing. She hadn't even told her family she was doing this. She knew Duffy and Clyde would want to tag along, but she wanted to do this herself and couldn't wait on a three hour train ride from her brother, nor was she going to let Duffy change her mind.

Bonnie was beyond nervous, part of her didn't even WANT to do this. She felt like everyone was going to hate her. And yet, she knew she had to this. It was the right thing to do and she could not run away from it another longer.

Finally, she spoke.

"For a good long while, I had no focus or motivation in my career until I met Allison Watson. Ever since my first match with her, and the injuries I suffered dealing with her and the people she surrounds herself with, the horrible things she's done to other women here, my brother, my girlfriend. The list goes on, Allison Watson is a despicable, heartless woman who enjoys tormenting others. She has no remorse... Just like somebody else." Said Bonnie into her mic, letting her words hang as she stood there, staring at the crowd in front of her. The girl then took a deep breath and huffed through her nose.

"I don't regret chasing after Allison. She recently attacked a good friend of mine and it's downright unforgivable. I'm dedicated to beating her.... But what I never counted on was... Losing myself. And I don't just mean dressing up like a younger version of my enemy." She swallowed hard and started at her hightop sneakers.

"I-I'm... I... I'm honestly ashamed ta' even go into detail but I truly am sorry. The other day I was rewatching footage of my match with newcomer, Nova DellaPietra. I saw myself being colder. I tell myself I was just scared and mad 'cause I saw my girl and my lil' brother gettin' assaulted." Bonnie kept her head low before raising it to reveal reddening eyes.

"I tried to tend to my family... And when Nova picked a fight I just assumed she was with Allison by the way Jamie Valentine called her to the ring, but it's no excuse. I yelled at her, laughed at her, mocked her, took out my anger on her. And when It was over, I didn't care I drove her face into the mat. I just left her outcold in the ring. I've become uncaring. I'm turning every fight into something personal rather than competitive. I'm becoming exactly like the person I hate most. I'm becoming cold, like Allison... And It's breakin' me down. I've become ashamed of myself." Another hard swallow from Bonnie, she had a hunch Nova would still hate her, but she had to get this off her chest.

"Nova if you can hear me. I'm sorry things go so tense in our match. I honestly mistook you as an Allison lackey, and even if you were, It don't excuse me from being an asshole or bein' hateful. I ain't fan of the way you fight, But you got a lotta spirit and determination and it'd kill me if I found out I was the one that broke it. I think you're very charmin' to the crowd, very beautiful, a natural entertainer and certainty growing as a fighter 'cause ya sure weren't easy ta' beat!" Bonnie beamed with a wide smile as she looked towards the entrance stage as if Nova in the back could see her and she hoped she did.

"I was angry and afraid when we fought. But the real Bonnie Gastin is speakin to ya now and she'd love to compete against you again. The right way. That's what wrestling is supposed ta' be about. Competition. I understand some of us have gone too far, but the worst thing We can do, is let them change us. And I refuse ta' walk that path. I've been a hypocrite, telling people I'm the good guy... But I haven't been acting like it. " Said Bonnie as her nervousness began to fade and a more confident presence emerged, but it faded just as quickly.

"With all that said, there's someone else I've hurt that I need ta' talk about and this was beyond forgivable. It's the one thing I've bottled up and kept ta' myself. A few people know about it already but I refused to talk about it and I can't be free of my guilt or expect ta' change my ways until I get it out. I'm gonna let everyone know what I did wrong and I take full responsibility for what I've done...." Another shaky breath came from Bonnie, she felt a lump in her throat as she tried to speak up, she was starting to sweat, feeling millions watching and listening to her.

"For the longest time, I fought to get the attention of my enemy, who just ignored me. And as I became more obsessed with fighting Allison again, my drive for revenge took over me and... I used, Allison's neice Emily Clarkson, to get to her. I bullied her, a rookie! Into a fighting against me, a freakin' verteran! Then I beat her in her own debut in front of millions just so Allison would pay attention to me again... I used Emily Clarkson. I made her have a miserable experience just to reach her aunt." Admitted the Texan, her tears flying as anguish built up within her. She could already hear the audible cries of disappointment from the crowd. Bonnie was liked by them but hearing that Bonnie stooped so low was hurtful for them. But it killed Bonnie.

"EIGHTEEN years of fucking age! Never had a match in her life! I  even GOADED my brother into doing it because I'm supposed ta' be the goddamn smart one! But I'm no fucking different than Allison, AM I!? I know I'm not! I GOT NO EXCUSE! I CALL ALLISON HEARTLESS AND CRUEL BUT IM DOING WHAT SHE DOES TO MY FAMILY AND IT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT! IM JUST A GODDAMN HYPOCRITE!" She raved through sobbing, angry tears, sniffling into the mic as streams poured down her eyes.

"I don't expect to be forgiven by everyone. I don't even expect Emily to forgive me. But, Emily, if you're listening. I'm here ta' honestly say that I'm sorry, that I know what I done. And I accept full responsibility for my actions. It was wrong for me ta' use you. I'm at war with your Aunt Allison, but I was wrong ta' bring ya into this. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to my family, to the AFW, and to you, Emily. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me and that's okay, because I'm going to work towards changing my ways and be the way I used ta' be. Instead of being so cold. I know times have been rough for ya Emily, But I hope ya never give up. Thank ya." And with those final words, Bonnie dropped her mic, and gave a half heated wave to the fans, some vocal, some silent, before making her way towards the ropes to exit the ring and head up the stage, walking away from the ring with her head down, wiping her nose and eyes with her forearm.

Bonnie's exit was cut short first by music, and then by the appearance of a sight that by now was becoming familiar to the crowd, and to Bonnie.

A skinny young girl, in black boots and a black hoodie, the hood pulled up over her head and showing only a hint of flame red hair beneath, and the glint of the house lights on her red-framed glasses. Emily walked out to center stage and stopped, staring down at Bonnie for a long time before she lifted a microphone to her lips.

"Bonnie Gastin," said the London girl. "You're every bit as stupid as you look."

The crowd murmured restlessly, unsure of what to make of the girl now. It wasn't confidence she had, but something else equally as dangerous, so seemingly out of place in the otherwise harmless girl.

"You say you hope that I never give up, but I promise someday you'll wish I had."

She took her time, letting each contemptuous sentence fully soak into the thick-headed Texas girl's brain.

"You're the one who showed me the way, Bonnie. You humiliated me, and told me I didn't belong here, just like everyone else. But recently...

"I've won my first match. It's not much... but it's a start. And someday... you'll worry about me. Because I seem to recall knocking your girlfriend out cold and dropping your brother to the floor, and I'm only getting better. I'm not going to give up. You say you're so, very, sorry, Bonnie, and I believe you...

"But I don't care."

Emily stood for a moment and let her eyes take in the sight of the blonde-haired Texan. The thought of a rematch made her tremble with fear, regardless of Bonnie's new temperament, but she had learned something about fear in the course of her dismal wrestling career.

She turned and walked off, disappearing from sight without another word.

Bonnie was making her way up the ramp until she heard a sudden burst of music play. She froze in place and watched as the red haired girl with the hoodie strolled out onto the arena stage, her eyes going wide when she saw that it was Emily Clarkson. Her cold words making Bonnie lower her head.

Hearing Emily go on about what she did, what she showed her, that she believed her apology but she ultimately didn't care. Bonnie's heart sank, even after this confession she felt the guilt return and a sense of hopelessness now.

"No! E-Emily! P-Please... Lets just... EMILY!" Bonnie pleaded with watery eyes, the girl's vision of her future was scary, it sounded like she would just become another Allison and Bonnie helped make her that way.

Feeling defeated, Bonnie stood there on the ramp as tears ran down her face, slowly trudging up the ramp to dissapear backstage.