The Deep Breath

"Well..." Taylor's voice rose in pitch to a nearly adolescent tone. "That's it? You're just gonna, like... Mom, this is really, really important, so if you have anything to say, you should say it."

She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Again, she felt like an insecure teenager. Junko had a way of bringing that out of her.

Junko stopped and turned around. She cleared the distance back to Taylor and planted a big, wet mom kiss on Taylor's lips then pulled away. "I love you, Taylor-chan. And I'm so, so proud."

Junko grinned. "What more do I need to say? I've told you how I objectively feel about the match and about you and Angel. I can't force anything on you and I wouldn't if I could. You have the skills and you have the confidence. I think the only thing you don't have is the patience." Junko said, smiling.

"But I can't make time speed up. I'm not that good, fufufu."

Taylor turned her head, and her cheeks were colored ever so slightly by a blush as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Okay, yeah..." she nodded. "Patience. I need to be more patient? I... Well, like, a big part of what I do is figure out ways to make things faster. But..." She folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, still unable to stand still. "I guess I'll keep that in mind."

She sat down to eat her lunch. She was starving. She felt like she could devour the whole thing in one bite, but she still hesitated.

"So... I probably gotta get over my stuff with Angel, right? Like, it doesn't help to make it personal. Right? That's what I tell other people, to just go handle your business." She stared down at her plate for a moment. "I HATE taking my own advice!" She pouted, and began to eat.

Junko coyly ate her own meal as Taylor spoke. "Do you think SHE is taking it personal, Taylor-chan?" Junko asked. "Or are you just another girl who wants a piece of what she's got?" She looked at her food and ate a bit of rice. "You've been in a lot of personal fights, haven't you Taylor-chan? And Probably many more that haven't been personal. just business. Don't lose the match before you've even stepped into the ring. Don't make it personal for you. Make it personal for her. It's the basics of psychological warfare in wrestling."

Junko's smile fade as she looked up at Taylor. ""I don't think she's IN your head but I think she's knocking at the door and that can be just as bad. You know I always have confidence in your abilities, I don't doubt you for a second but as your manager, that's how I've felt. You deserve your position as a championship contender but is that the ONLY reason that you called her out? She didn't even care that you called her out. Kelly showed up instead."

Junko furrowed her brow, her serious tone becoming one of scolding. "And you should have beaten Kelly Conway. If anyone needs to be taught a lesson, it's THAT brat. Were you looking past her?" She asked as though she had just asked if Taylor broke the lamp while horsing around indoors.

"Hey man, talking trash is my thing. I own it. But... I've really been trying to tone it down lately. You know why."

Taylor ate her food with a degree of calm that she hadn't felt since before the encounter with Angel, the loss to Kelly, her speech in the ring. It was nice. Almost too nice...

Bonk!

Her forehead smacked into the table and rattled the dishes on top. She let out a long, forlorn groan.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh! I know I should've won that stupid match..." She moaned pittifully, her voice muffled by the table. "I kicked her ass. I'm a better fighter, I know I am. But she took advantage of my one weakness... that I'm a [/i]fucking retard[/i]."

She felt like a wet noodle again, and as such she slid down in her seat until she rolled to the side and flopped onto the floor face down. Her utter lack of dignity could not possibly have equaled the indignity she felt inside.

"I was looking past her," she said, her voice now muffled by the floor. "There's no excuse for losing that match. I had it. Even with the eye gouging. I'm so stupid."

"Get off the floor, Taylor-chan. You're not three.' Junko scolded, almost casually. "And you're not retarded. Kelly's devious. She might not be the best wrestler around, but there's a reason she won that tournament and she beat you and it's exactly what I've been telling you this whole time. The fact is that should haves don't win you a fight. Any ability that Kelly lacks up for in the technical side of things, she makes up for it in her mental acuity. She IS good. How you lost is how Kelly knew she could beat you. She HAS skill, even if you're stronger, faster and a better technical wrestler. That night SHE had the better game plan. She had the edge and she came out victorious because you ended up playing HER game."

Junko took a moment to breath and looked down at Taylor. "Acknowledge it and put it to rest. You'll have plenty of time to show her how brittle her illusions can be and have far more important things to worry about. You get to wrestle the champ!" Junko's tone perked up. "And you're GOING to take her down!"

Taylor obediently got off the floor and back into her chair, like a marionette whose strings Junko had just tugged. She propped her cheek on her palm and her elbow on the table, and poked at her food with her chopsticks.

"Yeah, I know, I know... I'm not gonna cry about it," she said, as she began to tear up.

It wasn't that she underestimated Kelly, she just didn't think she'd be able to catch her in anything like that. Maybe that meant she underestimated her, but... Taylor didn't want to think about it too hard.

She shook her head and blinked away the beginnings of tears. "Yeah. I just wish I had my winstreak going into this match... For some momentum, or something. So... I'm gonna be patient. I'm not gonna rush things. I'm going to stay away from her legs and get in her head, and I'm never gonna let my guard down. She's never going to stay down, so until I get the pin, or whatever... And I'm just going to forget about all the personal stuff. She's just an opponent now, I don't need to worry about that. I'm going to show up and be fast and smart and precise and hit hard, and I'm going to have a perfect fight, and take the title, and then I'm gonna go have tea with Akashi and for once we really will be equals."

She began to eat, and with each bite she buried the dread in the pit of her stomach a little more. "Thanks," she said. She felt a little better.

Junko watched as Taylor spoke. She raised her eyebrow but as she finished, Junko lowered her head in thought. She quietly ate the rest of her food and then picked up her dish and cleaned it off in the sink and put it away.

once she was finished, she leaned against the counter and looked at Taylor. She said it, but Junko wasn't entirely sure Taylor believed her own words. "How is everything else going, dear?" She asked. "Are things going alright with you and Junichi-kun? He calls me but not as much as he should." Junko wagged an accusing finger at Taylor as though her son's neglectful ways were her fault. Really, she was just teasing though.

"I don't mind as long as he's busy trying to get me grandchildren, fufu." Junko chuckled. "And everything else? I've gotten a few calls from that red head of yours. Did you two patch things up?" Junko was genuinely interested in her daughter-in-law's life, but at the same time, it was clear that Taylor needed to get her mind off of the match for the moment.

Taylor finished her food quickly and then leaned back in her chair. She thought about taking a walk while she digested before going back to afternoon training. For the time being, she just closed her eyes and put her hands behind her head.

"If you get any grandkids, we're both out of a job," she remarked. She opened her eyes to narrow them at Junko. "C'mon, mom, you know her name. Morgan forgave me for what I did, and it was... really cool. It was a really good experience. It wasn't at all what I was expecting."

She closed her eyes again and leaned back in her chair. "See? Everyone thought I was crazy, but here we are. Me and Morgan are closer now than ever, and I think maybe she's thinking less about killing people and more about... better stuff. But stuff is good, in general. Cassie's pretty happy, Akashi's a little nuts right now, Johnny's great when he's not in matches with King. And... Kozue. Fucking Ninjette." She shook her head. She didn't want to sound jealous in front of Junko. "With Morgan back, I've got way less to worry about with AFW and the business, and I think I'm going to be hooking up with this other youth agency to do some stuff. I feel like I'm busier now than ever, but I feel like I have more time to focus and train. It's good."

She put her chair back down flat and got up to clear her plate. "How are you?"

"I've been there before, Taylor-chan." Junko said and sighed fondly. "I've been there before... When Rosie-chan and I got pregnant, I thought it was the end. It was really just the beginning. And now, here I am!" Junko beamed.

"It's nice to be loved, Taylor-chan. Some people don't know what it's like so when they finally get it, they just don't know how to respond to it appropriately." Junko smiled wryly at Taylor. "But, persistence is the key in all things love!" Junko said, still feeling a little dreamy before she finally sighed.

"Ahhh, I'm doing well, Taylor-chan. My nest is a little more empty than I thought it'd be at this age but... I guess that's just how it goes." Junko frowned. "I've been thinking about getting back into the ring myself but I just don't know." Junko looked past Taylor and stared wistfully at nothing. She sighed again. "But, it's ok, dear, you keep me busy enough and keep me company too." Junko looked down. I just remember when this place was always so busy. I had my children and Ichirou-kun. Rosie-chan and her kids and all of the other wrestlers who were always coming and going. And now..."

Junko blinked rapidly and pulled off her glasses, cleaning them with the sleeve of her kimono.