A Fork Stuck in the Road

Talia finished taping the last of the boxes shut. Inside were the belongings she wanted to bring with her back to San Diego. Everything else she was going to give to the next tenant. Her landlord had already found someone who was fine with that. It was mostly furniture and appliances anyhow. As if on queue, someone knocked on the door. Talia limped over to the door and opened it for the delivery guy. She pointed at the four cardboard boxes on the floor. The man came in and put the boxes onto a hard cart. "Thank you," Talia said in English as he hauled them out. As the door shut, the redhead turned around to look at her apartment. Nearly two years of her life had been spent here. It was hard to ignore, even if she wanted to forget it all.

Talia limped over to the refrigerator and pulled out a diet soda. Her phone was sitting on the counter right beside her. She was going to have to pull out the sim card and change her service provider once she got back to the states. She wasn't really at risk of spending a small fortune on phone bills accidentally since her plan was expiring in a couple days anyways. There were still some people she needed to talk to first, though. She grabbed her phone with one hand and walked back over to the couch with her soda in the other hand. She sat down and stared at her phone. After a couple sips of the soda, she put it down and muted the television.

The redhead brought up a number she had stared at a lot the last few days. There really was no more harm in anything she could do or say anymore. She pushed the call button and put the phone to her ear. It rang once and she bit her lip. She wasn't sure what she would say. All she knew was that she had to say something.

Cassie had only taken one class this semester, but with everything else going on she had found it impossible to keep up. She had already requested two extensions for her final paper, and she thought the professor might have been losing his patience with her. It was a welcome distraction from what her daily life had been, and she buried herself in the reading, spending whole days with her nose in a book and only coming up for air when she got hungry.

Intro to Creative Nonfiction. She had endless stories to draw on to write her final paper. The world she lived in was built entirely from amplified drama and personal struggle, where people lived by the strength of their persona or or their strength of will. It should have been easy to come up with something to write, but pulling from AFW seemed wrong, too personal. But it was all she knew, so she found herself stuck.

She was halfway through Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood", for the second time, when the phone rang, and the name on the screen stopped her dead. She breathed deeply, and then without thinking too hard she answered.

"Hi, Talia."

Part of Talia wanted Cassie not to answer. At least then she wouldn't have to say anything. But Cassie did answer. And even said Talia's name. There was no turning back now. "Hey." There was a few moments of hesitation as Talia stared at the muted television which was showing some random Japanese fruit drink or whatever. She looked around her empty apartment and remembered what she had wanted to say. "Are you doing anything right now?"

She paused realizing how casual that sounded but didn't wait for an answer. "I'm heading back to San Diego this Saturday...did..." This time she hesitated a little longer. "Did you want to talk?" Even though Talia was probably going to do most of the actual talking, she didn't want to push into somewhere she wasn't welcome in the first place. "Or...or did you want to...you know...I don't know." She was really bad at apologies.

"Oh, um..." Cassie had no idea what to say. She technically was busy, but of course she could set aside what she was doing for someone else. She just wasn't sure if Talia was one of those people.

There was a long pause after Talia finished. Cassie had a strong urge to just hang up the phone and throw it out the window again.

"Oh, h-ha," she laughed nervously, "I'm going back to Ontario this Saturday. That's funny. We can talk, sure, I'm just sitting here doing... stuff. Um... what did you want to talk about? I'm not sure..." If that's a good idea, if we can do that without starting a pointless fight, if we can do that without me never wanting to come back after I get home, without me being hurt. "I'm not sure I know what to say," she said quietly.

Cassie's words conflicted Talia. Even though they had texted, they hadn't really talked in so long. Part of her, by reflex, was already upset just to hear Cassie respond so casually. Talia bit her lip again. She really didn't want to be so hostile anymore. That was the whole point of this, after all. "Yea...I don't really know what to say either. So much has happened that...I'm not sure there really is anything I could say..."

Talia then looked at the ground. "I'm sorry," she stated simply. "I can't make up for all those things I did but...but I really didn't know what to do...I didnt....I didn't realize...consider your feelings. I just assumed you felt the same way everyone else did..." The redhead stopped. She was rambling on trying to justify her actions. It wasn't a very good apology in her eyes. "I don't think anything I can say will make things rights. But I want them to be before I leave."

"Okay." Cassie felt something complex and unpleasant well up in her gut and her face flushed warmly. She hated that her first reaction to Talia's attempt at an apology was to be put on edge, maybe a little angry.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm... I guess I'm sorry it went so far. I just didn't know what to do." She said with an air of finality, like she didn't need to say anything else about it. The truth was she was too exhausted to dig up all the feelings that came with the ordeal. She was glad to be done.

"Talia, you can't change what happened, but you can change everything else." She hoped that at least would be a little encouraging. "But... Are you leaving for good?"

Talia didn't say anything for a long while. Even after Cassie stated the encouraging words, the girl stayed silent. After five or so seconds of being quiet, she finally responded, "You're right, I can change other things." She sighed and went on to answer that last question with a simple, "Yea." There was another pause. It was weird admitting that to someone whom she fought with for so long. It was kind of like waving the white flag directly in front of their face. She expected a rather exuberant reply from Cassie in turn so she followed up with an explanation to stop any bragging. "I've given it a legitimate shot. Time to look into other things. Everyone will be happy to see me go too so it's really a win-win choice."

At first, Cassie didn't say anything. She just shook her head with a scowl.

She sighed. "You're so dumb."

Talia sighed back. "Thanks. Goodbye, Cass," she added quickly before hitting the end call button. That was along the lines of what she expected to hear. She said what she had to though. If that's how Cassie wanted to respond, she couldn't question it. She stared at the muted television as a Lexus drove around a corner in another advertisement. And she sighed again.

Cassie looked at her phone in disbelief when the call ended. Immediately, her face flushed as anger welled up in her that made her hand shake while she called Talia back. She didn't wait for a hello.

"Okay, first of all, don't call ME and then hang up on me. Okay? Second, a lot of people probably WILL be glad to see you go, because all you did was hurt people and try to ruin everyone's life. THAT'S no one's fault but YOURS.

"You TRIED to ruin my life, do you understand that? And you came close, but you CAN'T. Because life isn't just ABOUT one person, it's not just about me and it was never about YOU. You made it all about you and no one else, and all you did was ruin your own life. You ruined it the moment you put that STUPID mask on!

"And now you're running away! How can you leave now when you never GAVE THIS a shot! All you did was throw a temper tantrum in front of everybody and hurt people, and then cry like a little baby when no one loved you for it! You're so STUPID it makes me HURT inside and I CAN'T STAND it! Why didn't you just listen to me? WHY was it SO IMPORTANT that you throw a fit and act like a little baby instead of taking the help you wanted in the first place?"

She huffed, and then, in a low, unsteady voice, added "You and Clyde Gastin have so much in common, I bet you'd be best friends. You're both to SCARED to stop being ANGRY."