If You Do It, Do It Right

Rebecca barely moved as Taylor collided with her, quickly ensnaring the amazon. "What." Was all she said, looking up from her glass with a bemused expression at the nerve of this girl to invade her personal space so thoroughly. "Adrian, why the hell is this...Taylor, on my back?" She snarled.

"Oh hey Taylor!" Adrian said nervously, somewhat scattered by the dynamic entry, and thankful that Rebecca didn't seem to remember who Taylor was, or was at least too drunk to remember. "Taylor's my...uh...was...kinda... extra trainer?" She tried to explain. "Used to wrestle in Friction, retired, wrestling retirements never last a year yadda yadda yadda, you know."

"Oh right, Taylor." Rebecca said, still sounding more slightly annoyed than anything else. "Wait, what the fuck!?" She eventually let out, remembering the bad old days, and trying to reach back to peel Taylor of her back.

"Nononononononono! We're cool now! Be cool! Blueberry, say something!" Adrian squeaked, trying to stop Rebecca from starting a fight with someone she'd already buried the hatchet with.

"Oh, whatever." Taylor rolled her eyes. It wasn't like she had planned to only retire for a little while. Things change, okay?

Rebecca's reach snapped her back to reality, and she let out a girlish scream followed by a giggle. She twisted away from Rebecca's hands and climbed around her to make herself as difficult as possible to grab.

"Okayokayokayokayokayokay, I got this, listen up. So, once upon a time, there was this zoo keeper, right? And he had a gorilla, and the gorilla was really sad, and it was, like, bad for business or something, I dunno." Her excited, accelerated speech was reminiscent of Adrian's. "So the zookeeper sees this big strong dude and he's like 'hey, would you have sex with this gorilla for five hundred dollars?' Because he's desperate, ya know, to cheer up the gorilla. The dude says, like... lemme think about it.

"So the guy comes back the next day, and he's like 'a'right, I'll do it, but only under three conditions. One, you don't tell anybody. Two, I'm not gonna kiss her on the mouth. And three, if there's kids they gotta be raised Catholic.' And the zookeeper's like 'done!' And the big strong dude says 'And one other thing... it's gonna take me another week to come up with the five hundred dollars."

Taylor beamed.

The similarities between drunk Taylor and sober Adrian, at least in speech patterns, were startling. Maybe if Adrian drank enough coffee she could head all the way to sober Taylor or whether she just had to drink enough to wrap around on the drunk/sober Taylor/Adrian spectrum, but that was an experiment that would have to wait for when the recently un-retired wrestler stopped climbing all over Rebecca! "Not what I meant!" Adrian said, trying to calm down Rebecca and generally diffuse the situation. The last time the Amazon had heard anything about Taylor it kind of made her want to make the retirement a little more permanent. However, as Taylor clambered around, Rebecca stopped struggling to throw her off and simply stood up with the blonde still on her

"Okay, one: when the fuck did you two start being all buddy buddy?" Rebecca asked, fairly calmly. "And two: Get the fuck off me before I smash your ass through a wall."

"Splat." Taylor observed a moment of silence for her utterly failed joke.

"One! None of your business, Kent Quick. And two, bring it, motherfucker!" She laughed. "I've taken piggyback rides from girls way scarier than you. Like HER!" She declared, and dramatically pointed off down the bar at Akashi, who was drunk and apparently busy hitting on some chick with giant boobs. Akashi, if anything, looked confused and horny and not even the least bit threatening. There was so much boob between the two of them you needed three i's to spell it.

Tiiits.

"So whatever, man, you can't even smash my ass through a wall. One: because this is my night, and two: because you need to start having some fun. Now let's go find Cassie, carry me that way!" She pointed off toward the dance floor and wiggled forward and back to urge her trusted steed on. "Yah! Mush! On Dancer! Adrian, go get me a carrot!"

Rebecca seethed as Taylor continued to insist that she was to give her a piggyback ride all across the bar, especially when she said that Akashi was scarier than. She had half a mind to put the blonde's theory to the test and charge at a wall, spinning so Taylor would hit it first and get squashed or go through it. She's un-retired and there were witnesses, no-one could say she wasn't being provoked. "Cassie's here? Awesome! Let's go see Cassie, you'll like her Becks she's um, happy but kinda low key compared to..." Adrian said pulling on the amazon's arm. She knew full well that left alone to their own devices there would be a brawl of some kind with a lot of broken glass and stuff and another place in Japan where she wasn't welcome.

With a defeated sigh, Rebecca started to carry Taylor over to the small Canadian, just as Akashi dragged her latest victim to wherever they went in a bar to get some cheap and sleazy sex done. "This asshole yours?" She asked, pointing to the blonde on her back as Adrian shuffled towards them, holding the drinks.

Cassie turned around to see Taylor perched on the back of the single biggest anything she'd ever seen. She stood dumbfounded for a moment, peering up at Rebecca with her mouth agape. She'd seen moose smaller than her.

It took her a moment to realize who it was. She looked even bigger in person, which was no easy feat considering that, at least according to the AFW stats, Rebecca had 13" and 130lbs on Cassie. Two Cassie's put together still wouldn't equal Rebecca's size.

She finally closed her mouth and shook her head. "Hello."

"Room for one more, Bear, c'mon." Taylor urged, patting Rebecca's shoulder. "Do you need a boost?"

Taylor swiveled around Rebecca to hang off the front of her, one hand behind the giant's neck and her feet braced against her hips, like she was climbing a mountain. She reached out to Cassie with her free hand. "Grab my hand!" She shouted dramatically. Cassie quickly shook her head.

Taylor turned to Adrian. "How are you ever walking on the floor? Man, if I was tight with this chick I'd-" Her hand slipped, and she plummeted gracelessly to the floor with a thud. Cassie hopped back, put her hands over her mouth, and then quickly went to help her up.

"Ow." She said, and continued like nothing had happened. She put a hand up on Rebecca's bicep and casually leaned against her. "So we never really met, right? Well, I'm... hey wait, do you still want to kill me? 'Cause, like... that would suck."

Rebecca clenched her teeth as Taylor got into yet another uncomfortable position, pressing on her neck and hip. Nothing painful, just annoying enough to allow her a big sigh of relief as the blonde fell off her perch. "ah... better." she said with a small smirk. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Or at least fallen off her shoulders.

"Because if I abuse piggy-back-privileges, I get them taken away. Or fall on something." Adrian explained, helping Cassie help up Taylor "So how've you been Cassie? Everything going okay and stuff?" the former cosplayer said, trying to start up a more comfortable conversation, where no-one was climbing on anyone else.

The Amazon's reprieve was to be short lived, Taylor got back up and resumed pretty much where she left off. "No I don't want to kill you, but you really not helping your case alright? I got enough problems as it is. So if you want to ride someone's back, find your damn boytoy and do it with him."

"Oh... yep! I'm... well, I'm okay. Is..." Cassie cautiously eyed Rebecca and leaned in so that Adrian could still hear her when she lowered her voice. "Is everything okay?"

"A'right, c'mon, settle- ooohhhhhhhhh." Taylor's eyes suddenly went wide. "I should give him a piggyback ride! Or... Ho. Ly. SHIT you are huge!" Taylor exclaimed at the top of her lungs, suddenly gripped in a moment of clarity, as if she had only just noticed the enormity of the monster in front of her. She'd almost completely forgotten that Adrian was even there.

"Holy cocking motherfuck!" She tentatively reached out a hand to touch Rebecca's muscular arm, but pulled it back prematurely. "And like... You're in Friction? God damn, man, who did you piss off? Oh my gawd."

"Oh now she gets it." Rebecca sighed, hunched over the bar she probably didn't look as big as she did face to face, but damn, "Thought you would have figured that out when you decided to use me as a fucking jungle gym. And what the fuck's that supposed to mean? Who did I piss off?" She yelled to be heard over the crowd and the music.

"She's well..." Adrian started before dropping her voice low. "Really going through a rough spot. She messed up the boss lady's office, the german one, looking for something of a fight. But she gets put up against a tiny maid, so she thought: get it done, get out. But then 3 midgets run out, mess with her. She throws the maid out the ring onto them, but it was like a cage match so she lost because she rage quit, now she's all sad and mad about it. So... yeah, not ok. I honestly thought she was just gonna try and put Taylor through something for a while there."

Taylor wasn't laughing anymore. "I mean, why are you down at the goddamn bottom of the league? Who do you have trouble with? Apparently you pissed off somebody, I hear they've got you fighting ten-year-olds."

Her eyes darted around Rebecca's body while she subconsciously assessed a plan of attack. If she could hit her hard enough on the jaw, she'd go down just like anybody else. But her jaw was all the way up there, and surrounded by four hundred pounds of horse meat. She knew that if she was even offered a fight with Rebecca, she'd take it in a heartbeat and give it everything she had. The end, though, would probably not be pretty for her.

"Oh..." Cassie nodded, struggling to understand. "She threw the maid?" She looked back at Taylor and Rebecca, and, ever the voice of reason, shouted over the music at her "Taylor, leave her alone!"

Taylor shrugged, and shouted back "Whatever, I'm gonna go get a drink. See ya."

With a wave, she turned to head back to the bar to find the same bartender who made her first drinks.