Vi-v La Vie

"Yeah..." Taylor said quietly with a hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Dammit, shut up! Don't mess with my decision making. Crowds are great and shit, but I've got a life now, and Johnny. Do you know Johnny? Higurashi? He's amazing, both in general and in bed."

That was it. Taylor could prove it to Angel that she didn't need to be in the ring to get attention and all that. She glided quickly back to the magazine rack at the back of the store and grabbed a magazine without hesitation, as if she already knew exactly where it was. She walked back to Angel, stuck the magazine in her face and gave it a shake.

"See? Check it out, people totally like me and stuff."

It was called Vi-V, and while Taylor had no idea how it was supposed to be pronounced it was a popular fitness/fashion/music magazine, popular enough that she could just walk into a random convenience store and be fully confident that she would find it. In small print on the cover was an allusion to an article, in Japanese, and somewhere inside was a five-page feature on Taylor, complete with copious amounts of photos.

A couple were of her in action in the ring, but mostly they were posed, glamorous shots of her with bold, smokey eye makeup and red extensions woven into her punky hair. They had interviewed her about her fitness regimen, her diet, her hobbies, her hair and makeup routine, her clothes, and Johnny. There were stylishly lit, close-up photos of her body. One showed her defined abs, with her wearing little spandex shorts and pulling the hem of her tank top up until it exposed a little of her bright red bra. Another was from behind with her hand on her hip, looking strong and proud with her square shoulders and strong back and legs, her thin waist and round butt. Another was of her doing a one-handed handstand, which should could only hold for a second or two.

The last picture resembled a very well done selfie, Taylor looking up with big blue eyes and a smile that was at once confident, mischievous, and innocent.

"See?" Taylor said, and found that she was dangerously close to fighting off tears.

Shit... Angel thought to herself, as she realized the look on Taylor's face and what it meant. She definitely didn't mean to upset Taylor in any sort of way, and was now feeling quite stupid for her little rant about loving the spotlight. She should had realized that Taylor probably missed the ring still, even if just a bit.

"I see, I see," she muttered, glancing away from Taylor, taking another swig out of her water bottle. "Sorry, chica. I didn't mean to dredge up any memories or anything. She went silent, feeling pretty awkward, then finally sighed and looked back towards Taylor. "Nice photoshoot though, really. You look good." Another long drink from the water bottle before she continued again. "Damnit. I kind of feel like an ass now. You gonna be okay, Taylor?" She wasn't sure what else to say, and knew how stupid she must have sounded right now.

Taylor gave a tight faced laugh. She was embarrassed that she'd got that emotional, especially in front of Angel, and especially because Angel noticed. She shook her head. She was such a loser.

"Fuck you, I'm fine!" Taylor said and shoved Angel with both hands. "What, do you think I'm gonna go drown in chocolate ice cream because you said you like being ogled while you beat up on girls? Nah, I'm good." She grabbed a bottle of water and, after a moment's hesitation, the magazine, and headed off to the counter.

She flopped her things in front of the cashier and gave him a big, sharp grin. "Hi," she said, and fished out her credit card.

"I'll just mail this to my mom. I actually haven't talked to her in like... since my dad died. The last time I was in something like this was after Avalanche year before last when I got that stupid belt, and I mailed a copy of it to my mom. I'm not sure if it's like 'look what I did, mom!' Or more like 'hey, fuck you mom'." She shrugged. "At least she'll know that I look a fuck-ton better than she did at my age."

Angel took a few stumbling steps backwards as Taylor shoved her, nearly running into a nearby rack. She smiled back at Taylor and shrugged again at her. "Glad to see you still don't take any shit from anyone, at least." She teased, trying to lighten the mood some. "Didn't want the married life to make you soft or anything!"

She followed Taylor to the cashier, pulling a handful of change out of her own pocket to pay for her water. "Either way, she's gotta be glad to get news from you, right? Hell, I haven't talked to my parents in a while." She went quiet, glancing at her hand to pull out the right amount of change for the bottle of water. At least, she hoped it was the right amount. "Maybe I'll take another trip back home after the summer. See if I can get some extended time off."

Once Taylor was done with her transaction, she stepped forward, slamming her change and the bottle onto the counted, flashing the cashier her own smile. "Maybe I'll see if I can fish up some of the magazine shoots they did for me a while back. Bet mom and dad would like that."

"Soft? Dude, check me out, I've been lifting with Johnny," Taylor said and flexed her arm for Angel.

She'd actually put on some muscle lately. Even in her retirement, she was still working out like a crazy person, but she wasn't eating vegan or doing all her plyometrics and sprints and everything she used to do to stay as fast and lean as she could. She liked heavy lifting with Johnny, for a few reasons, and her new strength was definitely one of them.

Taylor laughed. "Something tells me that'd be... really weird," she said. "Man, I haven't been home in... years. Two-and-a-half years. I've only talked to her once. I called her up after I got the Entropy thing, and she wasn't into it. She DID tell me 'your father died'. That was nice of her. He had died two weeks before, and she didn't even bother to tell me. Fuckin' bitch."

She opened her water bottle and took a long drink. "Man, home seems like so long ago, and so far away. It was like... another life. And now I'm in Japan, and I'm not even doing the thing I came here for anymore," she sighed. "But my life is here now. Whatever. Time to learn Japanese and find a way to make money that doesn't kill me inside," She gave Angel a look. "I was a waitress before I left New York. Where are you from, anyway?"

Angel snatched her change from the cashier and turned towards Taylor to look over her as she posed. She could definitely tell a difference in the girl's body. "Better watch the lifting," she teased. "You don't want to end up looking like some of the gorillas we have running around the company."

She lifted her own water bottle again, taking a long drink from it before she realized it was empty. Tossing it towards a wastebasket near the door, she glanced at Taylor again, listening to her continue. "Just a little shithole of a town in Mexico. Last time I was home was way back during the first Avalanche. They didn't put me on the card, so I decided to take some time off. I planned on heading back again last year, but damn...my schedule just stays busy these days. They like working me to the bone, chica. I guess they're trying to get their money's worth out of me." She grinned at Taylor, starting to lead her to the door. "I'm surprised they even let me have this week off!"

"Man..." Taylor said, and took a sip of her water while strolling out of the store and on to the sidewalk outside. She leaned one shoulder against the wall and tilted her head thoughtfully.

"Like... What keeps you going? Are the lights and the fans and everything really enough? I mean, not to be a dick about it, but you've made it to the top like fifty times now and come up empty handed. It must be like beating your head against a wall. What keeps you motivated and stuff?" Taylor asked earnestly.

Angel took a spot near Taylor, leaning with her back against the wall, folding her arms over her chest as she thought about the girl's question.

"Because I know I'll eventually get there," she answered, staring down towards the sidewalk. "I can be a real bitch and I know I've got a huge ego, but I'm smart enough to be honest with myself. I've lost three times now, right? Those losses were all my fault, and I'm not so full of myself that I can't admit it."

She lifted her head, looking over towards Taylor with a smile. "First match, against Akashi? I was still pretty new. I can admit I was out of my league there. But you know what? I might have been a rookie, but I almost had her that time. If I fought her again, I bet you anything I'd kick her fat ass around the ring and come out on top."

"Second time? Against Sarah?" She continued, closing her eyes as she thought back towards last summer. "Come on. That was my first time in a hardcore match. I still think they're stupid, for the record, but putting me up against Sarah friggin' Gatt, in a match she specializes in? It's like that bitch Lukretia set me up to fail. But again...I almost had her, chica. If we had fought fairly, with no tricks, or if we had a rematch? Same as Akashi. I'd have her beaten like that." She raised a hand up, snapping her fingers to emphasis her words.

"And then the third time? Well." She sighed, lowering her head again. "That was stupidity on my part. I let my dislike of that bitch Heather get in my way. I still don't know why I climbed the damn ladder at the end. I should have just knocked the damn thing over." Angel sighed again, shrugging lightly and shaking her head slowly back and forth. "I got caught up in the moment, I guess. But hey, we all make stupid mistakes, right?."

The Latina then stepped away from the wall, raising her head up, turning around to face Taylor completely. "I guess...my motivation is knowing that every one of these matches has brought me closer to being on top. I mean, hell. I lost all three of those matches, but look at how damn close they all were. Every one of those matches has made me work even harder. I'm not just going to roll over and give up because I've lost a few times."

"Besides..." She grinned, staring right into Taylor's eyes. "Just knowing I'm so high up is enough to keep me going. How many other girls have gotten this many chances, huh? If you ask me, chica, there's no one else up here on my level, or else they'd be getting shots too, right?"

Taylor listened attentively and nodded until Angel was done. She was impressed more by Angel's faith in herself than anything else. She had never thought that Angel was a juggernaut in the ring, but she knew there must have been something else that kept her at the top. Now she knew, and she wondered how she measured up herself.

"Yeah, totally," she said. She leaned her back against the wall and propped up a foot against it. "There was... always something wrong with me, I think. Like... I did it knowing that how I did was who I was, and when I lost it was because I didn't have what it takes. And maybe I didn't, like that shit with Adrian... Man, I just want to fight. You know the feeling, right? Like when everything's on the line, under the lights, and the crowd is amped up and there's no turning back, so it's do or die and everything just comes alive. That's all. I never wanted to... Ya know, really hurt people."

She jammed her hands in the pockets of her jeans and drifted off for a moment. She wondered what made Angel different from her that she could do it right and Taylor couldn't.

"I think I just wanted someone to be proud of me. I really am just another chick with daddy issues. And mommy issues, apparently. Whatever, that's no reason for me to parade around in front of everyone pretending like I'm a wrestler, no one wants to see that. But you, man, I think you've got it right. I respect the hell out of that, man, you'll never quit, I know it." She paused, and then suddenly she became uncharacteristically shy. "Do... do people think I'm a quitter?" She asked meekly.

Angel stood there, listening to Taylor, but couldn't help rolling her eyes at the girl's last question. "Listen, chica. I can't speak for all those other girls in the company. I don't have much to do with most of those bitches. Does it really matter though? You gotta do what you think is right for you, right?"

Thinking for a moment, she reached out, placing a hand on Taylor's shoulders. "But hey...for what it's worth? I don't think you're a quitter. Hell! You're probably smarter than the rest of us, y'know? You got all big and popular and well-known and shit, then got out before you got burned out." She grinned at Taylor, almost a sad sort of smile. "You can still have a successful career outside of wrestling, while the rest of us spend every night getting our asses kicked and our bodies broken."

She gestured towards Taylor's magazine with her free hand. "Hell, look at your damn pics in there. You could probably make it huge as a fitness model or something! Don't even have to get beat up to do that!"