Trash!? I'm not Trash!

It was one of those days for Mercedes Wrenn. A bad day that started out like most of her days, very subserviently. That wasn't so bad. What was bad was getting fired by her employer. The (once) great Margaret Roderick Sinclair had decided, in an ironic twist to relieve Mercedes of her duties as the woman's paralegal after successfully arbitrating a dispute between some ruffian pirate and haughty little nobody nurse, getting the nurse girl to fall in line and join up as a wrestler when it was clearly the last thing she wanted to do.

Mercy, too, had been coerced into signing a similar contract on some pretense that she wouldn't have to actually wrestle. Now that her legal career seemed to be in shambles in a country she knew very little about, she found that wrestling was about the only gig that paid until she learned enough Japanese to weasel some up and coming paralegal out of HIS job and start climbing the corporate legal ladder on this absurdly ridiculous island. That or save up enough to get a plane ticket back tot he states. But if there was one thing that Mercy was, it was ambitiously lazy. She was perfectly fine to connive her way into any situation, as long as that situation presented itself with relatively little work for herself. involved. Just as she was an expert in the mind numbing monotony that legal work offered, Grinding to the bone was only good if she could do it from the comfort of her office or home. She was fine with kissing asses but she only wanted to kiss as few as possible. Otherwise that would certainly be unsanitary.

After getting fired, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of and began shredding documents and throwing large boxes of case files and legal papers in the dumpster out back.

Now, with her sleeves rolled up, her Brooks Brother's suit coat neatly folded and placed in the least grossest part of the Alleyway, (Mercy found that she could look twice as good at half the price after she did a little research, she was very frugally minded) she was sifting thigh deep in the dumpster. In her haste, she had managed to throw out a rather important document pertaining to her new career as we wrestler. She'd also later realize that her recently acquired 100$ pen(The measure of an important business woman was how expensive her pen was and Mercy had splurged the day before on the thought that she'd get a big bonus from her successful arbitration) Had also gone missing as well as her very fine watch, which had also managed to end up in an errant box that had been carelessly discarded.

She lifted her hands up and adjusted her glasses. She had taken enough measure by stealing some clown girl's baggy pants and some other idol girl's long white opera gloves and looked like some wretched patchwork bum as she sifted through the garbage. But at least she'd be clean and garbage smell free. This day would be over, she'd find her contract, pen and watch and could go home and shower until the stink and shame washed off. In this alley, no one hardly ever stopped by so she'd be safe to rummage as much as she wanted to. Nothing could possibly get worse anyway.

Absolutely nothing.

Jamie's money never stuck around for very long. She wasn't always sure where it went, either, she never had any new stuff to show for it. She'd eat well, put herself up in a hotel until the money ran out, then it was right back to the street. Maybe she needed to learn to manage her money.

She'd spent the day hustling cards on the sidewalk with her little wobbly card table. She ran a pretty slick Three Card Monte, no one ever caught her tricks. She could do them all, too, but she loved the Mexican Turnover. She liked letting someone touch the right card, and then cheating them out of it.

It was hard work, too, working without a shill in a weird country. But she got her money, and often enough, she lost it immediately afterward. Today, she'd pushed a little too far with one group of those Japanese street thug jerks who dressed like retards, and they took her money and pushed her around and broke her table. She was heartbroken.

She was hungry, too. She was counting on that money for lunch, but she'd have to wait for that. There was an alley behind a law firm, brick building, and one big brick was loose, right next to the dumpster so that she could pull it out. There was a hole where she stashed her stuff when she didn't have a room to stay in. One time the garbage people put the dumpster back wrong and it was in front of her brick and she cried and cried.

She strolled down the alley, casually, looking around for other people to make sure no one saw her access her stash. People would steal her stuff just for fun. Jerks. She knelt down and was just about to pull the brick out when there was a noise from the dumpster.

She let out a piercing, horror-movie scream and leapt to her feet. There was someone in the dumpster!

There was someone in the dumpster?

"H-h-h-h-hello?" She eventually said. "Hello?"

Mercy was content to rummage through the trash dumpster for the time being. She had almost arranged most of the trash in the immediately vicinity by type, color and stench, maing sure that most of the rather ripe stuff was far away. She'd actually found it rather peaceful for her OCD and she'd gotten used to the unpleasant odor.

Her eyes widened suddenly as she saw something gleam and pulled out her pen. "Oh!" She smiled wryly, checked back and forth and sticked it into her short pocket. This day was definitelylooking up. It would onlyget better now!

then suddenly she heard a shriek. Mercy hadn't even noticed Jamie and the shriek caused her to freeze up and let out her own shriek. "R-ruffians!? No doubt after my nubile young frame!" she whispered as her eyes darted around. "I-I thought this was the nice part of town!"

Mercy's heart began to race. Those thugs had just killed some girl and would be after her next. She instinctively reached out and grabbed the closest thing next to her and hefted it up.

"W-Whoever you are, I have a... Uh.." she glanced up. "A box! And most f the corners are still pointy!" Mercy panted as a banan slipped off the box and plopped on her head. It made er tense up andwhile her body shook, she shook the moldy box as menacingly as possible. "B-Be advised, y-you rapscallions! It's a criminal offense to murder and or rape the assistant of a federal official!"

She clenhed her teeth as she readied her box of justice. "At least in America. I knew I should have brushed up on Japanese Law." She muttered as she waited for the band of muggers to show their faces.

Jamie screamed again when the thing in the dumpster spoke. "Ohmigod, don't hurt me! I already got robbed today, go rob them." Them being the guys who robbed her. Was that clear? She should clarify. "Them being the guys that-" Oh, forget it.

She took a step back from the dumpster and looked around for anything she could use as a weapon. She had a deck of cards... there was the brick, but that would reveal her hiding place. She spotted a really nice looking suit coat and picked it up. She could use it like a whip... or maybe she'd just wear it. It fit pretty well. She took a moment to check herself out. She felt instantly inflated, like she was suddenly in charge of everything. The feeling quickly passed.

Maybe she could negotiate her freedom. "I'm just here to get my stuff..." Idiot! Don't tell her about your stuff! She'll get wise! She had to say something else to throw her off the trail. "It's hidden behind that brick." Dammit. She hung her head and her shoulders slumped.

"Wait, why are you in a dumpster? Are you looking for food? Did someone put you in there? Do you need help getting out? DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY! I'm a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER, okay?" She threw a couple awkward, girly punches at the air.

She worked up the nerve to climb up on the side of the dumpster and peer in. "Oh." She said. It was just some dumb girl. Still, she kept her eyes on the box. "Hi. Why are you dressed like you're retarded?"

Mercy's brow furrowed at Jamie's response. "Robbed!?" She called out. "Didnt you get killed just now!?What was that girlish scream that deafened me if not your guts spilling out? Please clean that up before you die. Littering, aside from being quite unseemly, is certainly a punishable criminal offense." Mercy adjusted her glasses, people were certainly crass these days. She shook her box, just in case Jamie was getting any ideas about not being murdered.

Mercy then heard Jamie say something about her stuff and a brick and got a little nervous. She swallowed hard. Her box wouldn't be any match for Jamie's brick but Jamie didn't need to know that. "Dont try anything funny, my box is DEFINITELY bigger than your brick!" She shouted. Yes! And she could even use it as a shield or a basket or some kind of crude geometric blindfold. She had a practical Swiss Army box. What did Jamie have? A one trick brick!

Then Jamie asked a dreaded question. Why was she in a garbage dumpster? Mercy's eyes darted nervously. Her eyebrows furrowed. "You don't get food out of adumpster!" Shesnapped. "And if someone put me here then I probably wouldn't be talking to you since I would bemurdered like you are." She let out a sigh and then rolled her eyes wen she heard Jamie was a pro wrestler. Suddenly she grinned. "Game. Set. Match. Mecy scores the victory." She said slyly to herself. " I misplaced something!" She called back out.

When Jamie climbed up and looked over the edge of the dumpster, Mecy jumped and heaved her box at Jamie. It sailed high and wide and clunked against the ground with a dull thud and oozed apart.

Mercy then sighed. "Hello." She said dejectedly. Her ears perkedup at Jamie's words. She grabbed the banana peel and shook it at Jamie. "I'll have you know that even if you're not murdered I can sue you for defemation of character! I'm a paralegal, you know. That means I'm a fancy almost lawyer! Not just that, but I'm ALSO a professional wrestler! And I definitely know how to use this!" she shook the peel again. She had TWO professions, double of Jamie's. Jamiw would be scared stiff by that, and the bana peel only added to her menace!

She then looked at Jamie and scrutinized her. "Hey!" She said suddenly. "Get out of my jacket! It's worth more than anything you keep behind your dumb brick!" She stopped. "Wait... You're a pro wrestler? Why do you have to hide things behind a brick?"

"Ack!" Jamie squawked and ducked her head down behind the side of the dumpster as the box sailed by. She looked down at it to see if it had anything good. "D-did you want your porn back? Are you looking for porn?"

Mercy's accusations were stupid. Lots of pro wrestlers keep stuff behind other things. "Shut up! Shut up! I AM a pro wrestler and I'll PROVE it to you! I... don't really know how, but shut up! And I don't keep anything behind my brick! There's nothing behind that brick! Mind your own business!"

Her business appeared to be sifting through a dumpster looking for boxes of pornography. Jamie supposed that there were technically worse ways to spend an afternoon, but... wait a minute.

"Hey, if you're a fancy not-a-lawyer, why are you in a dumpster? Shouldn't you have lots and lots of money to... lots of..." Oh. Maybe this girl had money. And if this was her jacket... Jamie quickly rifled through the pockets hoping to find anything at all. "Do you wanna see a card trick?" She said quietly.

"But if this was YOUR coat, why was it on the ground! In an alley! It's mine, I found it, it's mine. Back off! I'm totally a pro-fes-sional wrestler and I will beat the crap out of you! I'll steal your glasses, what would you do then? Cry and make me feel bad? Well it's NOT GONNA WORK! Now get out of my alley so I can get my stuff so I can go make money so I can eat lunch! I'm STARVING and you are NOT HELPING!"

They don't put porn in dumpsters!" Mercy shot back. "Everyone knows that they put it under beds or on computers!" She lifted her head up and adjusted her glasses haughtily. That meant she was right and Jamie couldn't say anything more about it. Jamie kept going on about that brick. There had to be something good behind it now for how much attention she was giving it. There could even be porn. Mercy thought about going on a little treasure hunt but dismissed it. She could come back to the brick for incriminating evidence later. For now she still had to deal with the brick's petulant owner.

Then Jamie came at her again with more libelous slander! Accusing her of being some common pauper! Mercy huffed and glared at Jamie. "I am! I'm super rich! I-It's just... all that money is locked up in escrow right now. That's all! It's still mine though!"

She saw Jamie rifling through her coat pockets and gasped. "Hey stop that!" She said. Jamie would find some business cards that said "Mercedes Wrenn, PROFESSIONAL! Paralegal!" An assortment of breath mints, tic-tacs and breath strips, she was trying to find what suited her, a small comb and compact and her MP3 player.

"Like, 52 pick up?" She asked. "I've seen that one before..."

Her eyes widened at Jamie's declarations. "This is a free alley! I can rummage here if I want! And... and.. I'll sue you for everything your worth! We'll see how long you'll last when they throw the book at you! I have a receipt for that and notarized documentations that I purchased it!" She did. It was an expensive suit and she had issues. "They'll arrest you for mugging! And for pretending to be murdered!" That wasn't really a crime but Jamie didn't need to know that. "And, you aren't helping me find my watch and my valuable documents! How can I sift properly when you're just going on and on about your brick! Other people have bricks too, you know! You're not the only one with a brick. I might even have a brick right now! What are you going to do about THAT!?"

She paused and looked at Jamie. "Be-sides! I'm a pro wrestler too, so I can beat you up just as badly!" What!? Where did THAT come from?!

"Ooh, nice comb." Jamie said and held up the comb so Mercy could see it, only to distract her while she transfered the little mp3 player from the jacket to the satchel on her belt. "You can have it back, I wouldn't take your comb from you." She tossed the comb at Mercy and bounced it off her forehead.

"No not 52 pickup..." She mumbled. She got quiet while Mercy ranted and raved and went on about god knows what. She was a little intimidating. She seemed to serious, and Jamie didn't need any more trouble. Maybe she could make nice with her so she'd relax, and maybe she could get lunch out of the deal.

She looked blankly back at Mercy for a moment, and then opened the box of Tic-Tacs and poured much of it into her mouth. She began chewing to give her time to think, and because they were still food.

"You probably could beat me up. You're pretty intense." She said. No one would even be able to tell that she was totally lying. "What's a scrow? That's not even a word. Can... Can I help you look for your watch and your valuable documents? Yes I can. Why are they in a dumpster anyway? You're pretty dumb. Don't worry, I'll find your stuff."

She climbed up over the edge of the dumpster and rolled inside, landing in a pile of boxes next to Mercy. "Ew." She said. Gross. "You should've left your coat somewhere clean, it's going to get all dirty in here."

She began to rummage through the contents of the dumpster, not really knowing what she was looking for but she didn't care. She just wanted to find the watch before Mercy did and pocked it without her seeing. "I like your earrings." She said. They looked like they'd sell for a bunch.

Mercy was stunned as she pulled out her comb. It was nice. "Thank you." Mercy said. "But don't touch it, it's worth more than you are." It was only worth about 15$ but that was pretty good for a comb. Of course, one day she'd have one of those 30$ combs but that was when she was finally a big superstar, hot shot lawyer. Besides, Jamie couldn't be worth too much more than 15 bucks anyway, just from judging her.

Mercy let out a derisive, satisfied laugh when Jamie said that she could beat her up. "That's right! I AM intense! If you think that I'm tough with the um, how does that go? Fist-E-cuffs? Yes! Well, then you haven't seen nothing until you've seen me in court! I made some sucker confess to stealing from himself once! What a buffoon!" She allowed herself a small laugh.

She then furrowed her brow at Jamie. "It's not scrow, it's ESS-crow! I would tell you what it is, but if you have to ask, then you obviously don't know.' Mercy wrinkled her nose at Jamie as she entered. "No you can't! You need to leave and drop my coat, but not in that order!" Jamie went into the dumpster anyway and Mercy looked at her with a horrified stare.

"Y-You!" She said as her fists shook. This woman was a horrible derelict and quite infuriating. "You don't even know what I'm looking for! How can you even help!? Don't call me dumb! I'll sue! I'll definitely sue!" She didn't even know this girls name even as she threatened legal action.

"And then they'll throw you in jail and I'll be the proud owner of a nice, new brick." Mercy huffed and her head fell. "You're the worst person I've ever met." She said in a deflated voice. She then turned and saw some letter head ina pile of papers. She reached down and snatched it and held it up.

"Yes! There it is! My stupid wrestling contract!" She beamed proudly. "Now I won't have to live like some wretched derelict who can't even scrape together enough money for a meal. Or... someone who actually has to COOK!" She shuddered at the thought and didn't even realize Jamie was standing right there for a moment.

Jamie narrowed her eyes at Mercy. She didn't like her tone, or her insinuations, at all. She could get money to eat, she just needed to find it, except she didn't do fancy lawyer work. She had work too, it was just different.

That's it, she thought. This chick it toast.

Jamie stood up out of the garbage and looked to one side. The two lids, one to cover each half of the dumpster, were propped up against the wall of the building. She grabbed the one over Mercy and threw it down. Then she leapt out of the dumpster and threw the other lid down. Quickly, she pulled her long, flat brick out of the wall, dragged a backpack out of the hole, and replaced the brick.

Hurriedly she yanked off her shoes and pulled a pair of roller blades out of her bag that she quickly pushed her feet into and clasped in place. She slung the backpack over her shoulders and jumped up on the side of the dumpster to lift a lid. Her hand darted in to snatch the papers Mercy was holding out of her hands. She had very fast hands.

"Sucks to be you! Good luck scraping together money for food!" She taunted. She leapt down and took off to make her high speed roller-getaway.