Get Out of My Web, Said the Spider to the Fly

Valkoinen had finished cleaning, dismantling and reassembling her Beretta Px4 Storm and sliding it into the concealed holster. She was garbed in some darker shades of camouflage. She exited out of her pool house and carefully walked towards the house that was connected to her small abode. She had every right to be in the house as she was Lukretia's personal body guard and, up until recently, the de facto head of security at the House Von Creuzfeldt Manor (Japan Branch).

Now, there was a new 'sheriff' in town by the name of Lia Cross. Hired to be the actual body guard and actual head of security as Valkoinen's paychecks were not sign by the House's Mistress, Lukretia. Lia's employment had been a blessing and a curse to some degree to the Finnish assassin. On the bright side, Valkoinen could concern herself less with the house, and Lukretia, seeing as she had another body in to do that job. It freed her up to do as she willed and go on more jobs as well as keeping up on more pressing matters involving her.

Oppositely, Lia was a person of interest in that she was ex-military and ex-mercenary. Those types always made her wary, especially considering Lia was as good as it got at her job as well. And while most of the people that Val had to deal with came from Europe, particularly the Eastern Bloc, Valkoinen wondered if Lia's presence was thanks to more western efforts to root her out. Lia would make a good pawn. If she screwed up, she could be written off as a renegade mercenary on a bounty hunt. But there was a chance, that she had been brought her purposefully, to infiltrate and spy on her. Valkoinen had to find out for sure.

She stalked through the house. The maids and the Mistress and the guests were all asleep. Val barely slept. She had been trained to go without it if necessary for long periods of time. There was someone who might be trouble. The perverted doctor, who was also Lia's lover and the reason Lia was here. (Or at least the excuse given). She was the most dangerous person int he household, constantly drugging and raping anyone who caught her fancy. Valkoinen had to be cautious around her and hadn't fallen for the doctor's tricks yet.

First she went to the Doctor's lab. The woman slept even less than Valkoinen, mostly because she was hopped up on something, or would be out, nearly comatose for days for the same reasons. She checked the lab and saw that Chesna looked to be passed out, naked in a puddle. She closed the door and locked it. That would be enough to keep her away. Even if she woke up, she might not be lucid enough to figure out how to open a locked door.

Valkoinen then crept up stairs, sneaking past the maid's rooms until she reached Lia's room. Lukretia wanted her as close to the master bedroom as possible, but also wanted Chesna as far away from the master bedroom as possible and so settled for a room that was just past the maid's chambers midway between the stairs and the master bedroom.

She had waited patiently for this day, giving Lia some space to get used to her. Val's invisible, looming threat was much more effective than confronting Lia face to face so quickly. She also wanted to know how proactive Lia would be. Once it seemed like she was going along with a daily routine, Val knew she had to make a move of her own. First, she tested the waters, sending the useless maid Babd into their room for "cleaning" duties and having her report back to Val. Once she had an idea of what Lia was putting up defense wise, she set up her own traps in the pool house, just to test her skills, not caring that more often than not, Cardia bumbled into them.

She ran her gloved hand along the door and pulled out a small kit. She used a screw driver to take out the hinges of the door and pulled it to the side very carefully. setting it next tot he hall and slipping through the small crack she had made with it. She looked around at the sleeping mercenary and touched her knife. It would be easy to just slit Lia's throat now, but she instead pulled out her gun and pushed it against the side of Lia's sleeping head, narrowing her eyes.

"Cross comma Lia, Sergeant, 334-91-2292. You were with the serving for one tour in U.S. Military and were with the leaving to join mercenary group. You were with the becoming quite accomplished and then were with the suddenly quitting to supposedly be with the being with sleazy skeezie Doctor and work as wrestler and body guard. And now you will be with the giving me reason for me not to be with the pulling trigger."

The shock of working in the same house as the White Death had never quite worn off for Lia. Apart from fleeting glimpses, Lia had not had much chance to see her, though she knew she was being watched, stalked, sized up. Lia was unsure if the members of the household knew precisely how dangerous this woman actually was. Lukretia seemed to regard her as a nuisance... probably the single greatest assassin in the world... a nuisance. Lia had known people who would have chopped off their own arms to have such a woman at their side... And Lia was in the awkward position of putting her out of a job.

Of course, it seemed about every member of the household, excepting the maids, was dangerous in their own way. Lukretia's inner circle was quite a rogue's gallery, but at least most of the locally acquired talent seemed to behave themselves. And that's not to mention the sort of people Lukretia had dealt with. The German herself was a league apart.

Still, that kept things interesting. Lia did not let up on keeping her room secured. She knew it would not be long before she and the White Death crossed paths. Lia was thankful each morning that she woke still intact... Only this time, something was amiss.

Lia opened her eyes, she saw the gun and heard the stilted delivery of her assailant. For a second, she tensed up, but then relaxed. Lia's philosophy was that if she woke up to a gun, it was good enough that she woke up period. Val clearly did not seem to be just about to shoot so Lia was safe for now. Val had the power and that would work for them both. Lazily, she yawned and glanced over toward the Finn. "Sup." She called out, sleepily. Lia looked around the room lazily, taking note of the job Valkoinen had done to sneak in here and subvert Lia's tripwires. Lia yawned again, looking at Val. Seeing that cold, soulless gleam in her eyes almost rattled Lia. Valkoinen looked every bit the embodiment of death, the inhuman, unstoppable force that all those campfire tales seemed to cast her as. Everyone who had worked in the field long enough had a bit of that icy void in their eyes... the job took a lot out of you. But the sheer lack of humanity in Val's eyes was unnerving, like staring into the abyss.

Lia propped herself up on her elbows and arched an eyebrow at Valkoinen, one of her rabbit ears dangling lazily, "Yep. That'd be me. And you're... Vio... no that's the other girl. You're someone... something." Lia yawned another time, "Ooh, whatever... And, uh, you don't have a reason TO pull the trigger. Don't lie." Lia rubbed her eyes, "Anyway, whatchu want? And aren't you a little short to be the White Death?"

Val watched at how lazy Lia answered her. Her eyes narrowed. She couldn't take her hands off the trigger but she needed to show Lia that she wasn't joking around.

"I am not with the being here to kill you... yet. Your funny bunny life is with the not being contracted to die. But this is not with the meaning that I won't be with the ending you if I am with the being suspicious. I am with the knowing your past and you will be with the informing me of your intentions or I will be with the preemptively ending any attempts you may be with the having to collect information on me, Cross comma Lia."

Valkoinen looked coldly at Lia and pushed the gun into Lia's head and clicked back the trigger to the point were any sudden gesture might cause Val to pull back and fire the gun.

"Enough of your fuddy duddying. Unless you are with the giving me straight answer, I will be with the assuming you are with the stalling your time. I am with the being professional. I am not with the having time for silly willy shenanigans!" She barked in a cold, yet adorably squeaky, high-pitched voice.

Lia's eyes widened slightly as Val pressed the gun in on her. Despite her diminutive stature, Lia could tell Valkoinen was none other than the White Death, and that she was deadly serious.

Serious was not Lia's strong suit.

"Pffffthnnngggnnk!" Lia tried to contain her laughter, genuine, but definitely motivated by no small amount of fear, "Hahahaha! Oh man, you're adorable! Hahaha, come on, say with the being silly willy again! That was the best!" Lia raised her hands slowly, "Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, just... oh man." Lia took a deep breath to calm herself down, "What, seriously, what do you expect me to tell you that you don't already know, shorty? You're with the being not a professional. You're with the being an asshole. Seriously, put the gun down." Lia was afraid, not really of being shot by Val. Val would have shot her thirty seconds ago if she had intended to, but this was still an interrogation that could definitely end badly, especially with the White Death. That fear kept Lia on edge, but her instincts were never to cower, and especially not to yield in an interrogation, "You know why I'm here already. It's because the Kraut doesn't think you're with the being a professional. You want a reason to not pull the trigger? Whatever she has on you will get a lot worse when she sees you have no qualms about gunning down her hired help in her own house." Lia took a deep breath, her first in a while. She could not believe she had just said all that... The adrenalin that drove the outburst began to ebb. Aw crap, I'm going to die.

Val remained silent as Lia chuckled and nervously began to speak. This rabbit was strange, but Val knew fear drove her to madness. If she had normal human emotions, she might have felt a little sadistic twinge at what she was doing to Lia. But Lia's own words, her poor attempts at threats, told Valkoinen everythign she needed to know. The Finn slid her foot back and then lifted her gun up, firing at Lia and putting a bullet through one of her ears before smashing the butt of her gun down towards the bridge of Lia's nose.

Lia's eyes remained focused on Valkoinen. The gun under her pillow seemed miles away right now. Lia was fast, but there was no way she could be faster than the White Death.

Then, Val's gun shifted. She aimed to fire at one of Lia's ears, but Lia did not even stop to think about it. Before Val could land the bash, in a flash, Lia would catch Val's arm, trying to immobilize the gun, "Seriously?"

As Lia's hand raised up to catch Val's hand, the Finn swung her free hand around and put her knife to Lia's neck. "I am with the always being serious." She said coldly. "Your words have been with the keeping you alive so far, but you are not with the being out of clear yet. I am not with th having interest in what Lukretia is with the thinking. What will she be with the doing, firing me?" Valkoinen narrowed her eyes.

"I am with the being assassin. I was with the using to have worked for K.G.B. I am sure you are with the having awareness of this. But now I am with the being mercenary. I am no longer dog. I am no longer killing when I am being told. Now I am with the killing for two reasons. Because I am being paid or because I am with the protecting myself. Myself only, are you with the understanding? No one else. Because you are with the still having breath is with the meaning that I was not with the being paid to kill you and I am not with the believing you are immediate threat. But the fact that I was with the wasting bullet and with the holding knife to throat means that I am not with the trusting you. Until I am with the being convinced you are with the being harmless, and with the coincidentally being here, then you should be with the taking of cares. If I were with the being you, then I would do whatever it is with the taking to be with the proving to me that your business here is not with the concerning me. Are you with the understanding?"

Lia froze as Valkoinen brought the knife to bear. Checkmate.

Lia was too hyped on adrenalin to really process what Valkoinen had let slip about her business with Lukretia. She was too focused on Valkoinen's other words. "Ac-actually didn't know you were KGB. Lotta conflicting stories about you get told at the campfire... You're less cute in all of them." Lia let out a soft, nervous chuckle, "I get where you're coming from... hell, you should've seen MY face when they said Valkoinen Simo..." Lia laughed dryly, "but... but I can't prove a negative. And you just made yourself my business... with all this hullaballoo. If this is how you play with strangers, you're the biggest threat here. To Lukretia, and me." Lia tried to swallow but could not. "You came in here. You started this. Now you are my business, like it or not." Lia let her hand fall from Valkoinen's pistol arm. It was a horrible thing to cede but it was the only hand that could reach for the gun under the pillow. "So... if you can't live with that, then you better make it quick." Every muscle in her body tensed up, waiting for any signal of Valkoinen's intent. She knew she would not make the shot but she would not die without her weapon in her hand.

Valkoinen listened to Lia's words with narrowed unflinching eyes, staring coldly at the bunny. When she was finished, she put her face close to Lia's and pushed the knife in as though she were going to do it and slit Lia's through, the pressure just barely about to break the skin and sever Lia's neck.

And then suddenly, Val's eyes brightened and a grin spread across her face from ear to ear. She leaned in and kissed Lia on the side of the cheek.

"MWAH!"

It was sloppy and over exaggerated. She then pulled back and holstered her knife and tilted her head. "Pleased to be with the working with you, comrade!" She chirped in her cute, squeaky tone and began to slowly back away from Lia, not letting her gun drop at all, just to show Lia that even in this unusual state, Val was a consummate professional.

Lia barely realized what had happened. Her brain only caught up with her when Valkoinen was backing away. "W-what?" Whatever it was, the danger seemed to have passed... almost? Lia, still maintaining a presence of mind she would later find either impressive or a surefire sign of madness, scowled at Valkoinen, "Uh-uh. You aren't comrades with the being with the people you with the point your guns at, jerk being... with!" Lia sat back in her bed, watching Valkoinen back out.