Happy Birthday, Taylor! (No Longer Open!)

Taylor put on a big, bright grin. "Nope." She never could hold her liquor very well. This might kill her.

"Yeah! To me!" Taylor held up her first shot and then threw it back. She nearly coughed. She shook her head once and threw back the second one. It burned. She coughed and shook her head some more. Akashi was already done with her four shots and was ready for more.

"Man, Akashi, how do you do that so fast... oh..." Taylor's faced flushed bright red and she already felt a little woozy. Akashi had 60 pounds and years of experience on her when it came to drinking. Of course, it wasn't like Akashi was good at holding it. "Okay, I'm gonna do one more and then save the rest for later, okay?" Taylor announced a little too loudly. She threw back the third shot. It only made things worse.

Taylor suddenly noticed that Ciara wasn't drinking. She tried to leap out of her booth, but failed to take the position of the table into account and ended up faceplanting on it and knocking off some silverware. She tried again, this time sliding playfully out of the booth and landing on her butt. With a laugh she dragged herself up and sauntered over to Ciara.

"Hey." She said. "Hey. Hey why aren't you drinking sake? Everybody else is. Lookit me, I'm a lightweight, and I already had more than you'll ever have. WAIT!" She held up a finger in Ciara's face, her face suddenly very serious. "Are you jewish? Can you drink if you're jewish? Hey! Kashi! Hey! Hey, can you drink if you're... Wait, what?"

Taylor looked back at Akashi and almost lost her balance. Probably one shot would've been enough to give her a decent buzz. Three shots, plus her fast metabolism and small frame, and a healthy dose of birthday mirth, was a recipe for instant sloppy drunk. She tried to pull herself together and act like she wasn't drunk. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them, she noticed the man behind the counter raising an eyebrow at the group.

"HEY!" Taylor exclaimed and pointed a finger in the guy's face. "Hey, what're you jewish? No." She squinted at him and poked the end of his nose. "You're a bartender."

She turned away from the bar and started prancing her way around the seating area and singing rhythmically in a loud obnoxious voice. "HEY BARTENDER, HIT ME WITH A DOUBLE, AND INTRODUCE ME TO THAT GIRL WITH THE BUBBLE," She tugged at Akashi's shirt. "I'M LOOKIN' FOR TROUBLE TONIIIGHT. KASHI DON'T TRUST ME TONIIIIGHT."

She paused. She couldn't remember the lyrics after that. She stared blankly at Akashi. Was she drunk already? Really? No way. Maybe she was just happy to be goofy.

Akashi was a big girl and she could definitely hold her liquor. She could out drink a man twice her size and have him passed out under the table. She barely ever got a hang over and she loved to drink. Unfortunately, even though she could drink forever, she got DRUNK fast. And when she got drunk, she got REALLY happy and REALLY horny. She knew it was a bad idea in front of Taylor, but she had to celebrate. She couldn't help it.

The first time she had met Taylor, they were drinking. But Taylor didn't even seem too drunk at all. But she was drinking beer and Sake was much harder than beer. But the girl already seemed loopier than she was and Akashi just giggled uncontrollably.

"Hey.. Hey.hey..." She said and looked down. She grinned as Taylor struggled with three shots and took her fourth one and gulped it down.

C-Come back, Taylor-chaaaan!" Akashi said as she pushed herself off of the table and watched Taylor run off. "You're vulnerable and I'm horny! You can't take this from me!"

She pushed back towards Taylor. She wasn't stumbling, but she wasn't making good time. "Hey. Hey, don't get close to her." Akashi said. "She'll punch you in the face. That's not cool." Akashi lowered her head. "I need more booze, DAMMIT!" She said and punched a counter. "So does Taylor. And everyone else!" She said and grinned widely.

"Taylor-chan. How are you going to get home? I can't carry you. I need to be carried. I need you to carry you so that I can grope you with my free hands. C'mere." She said with a grin and slowly made her way towards Taylor.

Taylor sloppily recoiled from Akashi's advance and turned her finger on her. "HeyheyheyheyheyheyHEYHEYHEYHEY!" She paused for a second, giving Akashi a stern look. She waved her finger.

She pulled herself up onto a stool and crawled up onto the counter. She grabbed the poor owner behind the counter by his collar and pulled him in close. "Don't mind me, Mr Bartender." She slurred with a grin. She stood up on the bar to make her escape from Akashi, and remembered more lyrics.

She resumed her singing/rapping. "YOU BE THE CENTER, BABY, I BE THE QUARTERBACK, HIKE, HIT THE TAILBACK, WATCH IT ON THE PLAYBACK..." Somewhat ironically, her brash, youthful, rough, girlie voice didn't sound all that bad. She was loud and drunk, which took it's toll, but there were certainly worse sounds to come out of a rowdy drunk white girl. "JAH, SMASH THAT, HITTIN' THAT REDBONE, END UP IN THE ENDZONE, BITIN' ON TH'COLLARBONE!"

She stopped and grinned. She almost lost her balance and fell off the counter, and decided it was a good time to get down. The couple other patrons in the place, a couple of white guys in the late night remnants of their business suits, watched Taylor and laughed, and one held up his phone to get video. She struck a pose for the camera and put on a big, bright, pretty grin.

"Don't be shy, I'm useta th' cameras 'n stuff. Betcha don' runnin ta someone like me everyday in businessman-land, huh? Don' fergit Akashi! Hey, hey don't..." Taylor ran back to Akashi and put an arm around her and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. She led her over to the two guys in the booth. "This is the champ, dude! D'you guys know? AFW, Friction, man..." They clearly didn't. "THIS IS THE FUCKIN' CHAMP, YOU PUNK-ASS BITCH!"

She gave them an angry look for a moment, and then she grabbed one guy's napkin and threw it on the floor and stepped on it. "Thasright, and you don't do NOTHIN' because we're baaaaaad news. A'right? Yeah." She nodded, and then without warning she leapt up onto Akashi's back for a piggyback ride.

"C'mon, you crazy sumo! You delicate flower of the world of sumo! Mush! Mush goddammit!" She ranted, and began to laugh hysterically.

Ciara watched the unfolding scene with a deadpan expression, then silently texted Lysandra to put some transport on standby, preferably some suburbans built for abuse. She had sipped a bit, intent on getting in a bit of a buzz while watching some drunken antics before solidly intoxicating herself, but Akashi and Taylor had gotten riotous so quickly that the soldier could not, in good conscience, leave the damage control up to someone else.

Making her way quietly up to the counter, Ciara shot the owner a sympathetic look and slid over an ICEPS business card. "Feel free to call to charge for any damages. By the way, you make one hell of a burger."

She sidled past the businessmen and shot them a knowing look. "Oh hey look everybody, here's the token designated driver. Look up AFW, boys. You might run into more of us around here, and I'm willing to bet it'd suit your tastes." She gave them a wave as she turned towards the two raucous gals in the middle of the diner.

"Yeah Akashi, make like a delicate flower and be Taylor's birthday pack mule," Ciara quipped, coming up from behind and slapping the sumo's juicy ass, "Giddyup. By the way, I can get some drivers over here whenever, Akashi, Taylor. I don't feel comfortable letting you two stumble home unsupervised. That's just asking to put some poor gang members and a couple taxi drivers in the hospital. Plus this is turning into more of a living room celebration, the more that I look at it."

While Taylor decided to give the bar an impromptu stage show, Akashi lurked around the diner for more booze, sweeping up any unattended, or slightly attended drinks she could find and gulping them down. The more she drank, the thirstier she got and she loved the taste of drink.

Before she knew it, Taylor was back in her face, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her cheek. "N-No, you missed!" She said and tried to go for a real kiss, missing and wiping her lips on the back of Taylor's hair. She was pulled along with Taylor and when she was put in front of the picture, she flashed a V at them and grinned happily.

"Hey... Usually I'd like um do some stuff and stuff but like.. you know... things are... hehe."

Akashi tugged at her shirt and furrowed her brow.

"Dammit. Why am I wearing this. It's soooo tight. I need my Kimono. I need my kimono, Taylor0-chan. My boobs can't breath! Rub them. That will make them feel less constricted." Akashi urged.

Akashi reached up when Taylor leaped on to her back and tried to hold Taylor in place. "Dammit! You're heavy!" She said and began to trudge forward, pushing out of the Diner.

"I am!" Akashi said to Ciara's words. "I am a delicate flower! I am the-EEK!"

As Akasi's ass was slapped, she practically leaped out of the diner and swung around with Taylor still on her and backed out, eying Ciara. "Don't do that! Not unless you plan on finishing what you started! The toll for a slap is heavy too!" She said with a grin before moaning. "Waaaah!" She cried out suddenly.

"Fucking, horny!" She screamed loudly into the street.

"Also want more sake!" She said and threw her fist into the air. "Taylor-chan, you're not drunk enough yet. You can't just have a few shots. It's your birthday. We have to hit at least three or four more bars!" Akashi declared. "I won't be satisfied until my unwarranted advances on you are returned in kind! Hehehe."

"Lead the way, dammit!" Taylor commanded from her perch on Akashi's back while flailing an imaginary riding crop at Akashi's backside and repeatedly making a "wha-tssh" whip crack sound.

Taylor leered at the few random people passing by, returning the queer looks they gave her with one filled with drunken mischief. She couldn't think of anything else to do but sing. She resumed.

"IIIIIIIIII JUST WANT YOUR COMPA-NAAAY!" She belted in a loud, drunken singing voice. "IIIIIIIIIIII JUST...." She stalled. She couldn't remember the lyrics. "Um..." She put a hand to her mouth while she struggled to think. Sake made thinking straight hard to do. What song was she singing?

"YEEEAAAH!" She shouted a raw, punk rock scream. "SMOKIN' BILLY! YEEAAH! SMOKIN' BI- SHIT!" She stopped suddenly and seized Akashi by the hair and leaned around to look in her face. "Akashi! The presents! Did someone get the... did the butch chick get... Where's the presentses..ses...?!"

She began to push and pull on her imaginary levers made of Akashi's hair as though she were controlling her. "Go back! Go back, gah dammit! Smokin' Billy Smokin' Billy!"

"Yosh!" Akashi said with determination and leaned forward prepared to charge forward into the streets. But then Taylor suddenly began to sing. "Karaoke?" She said, her Japanese coming through thickly. Akashi blushed. She wasn't very good at singing, or rather, never did it much.

"I get to piggy back next!" She declared raising her fist into the air. "mmm... I'll ride you all night loooong, Haha!"

But then Taylor assaulted her suddenly and Akashi gasped and flailed in surprise. "OH NO!"

Akashi spun around, almost toppling to the ground and skittered forward and went crashing through the diner once more stopping, spreading her legs and swinging her body to and fro to as she tried to find the booth they were just in.

"PRESENTS!"

She yelled loudly and then barreled down the isle, her big body swinging for everyone to see. Se nearly crashed into the wall but stopped with her hand out and scooped up the presents. "Hey! Hey I got the presents! You take the cake. eheheh YOU TAKE THAT CAKE, TAYLOR-CHAN DIDJA HEAR THAT?! HAHA!" Akashi then pushed the cake upwards to try and shove it upwards, basically into her face. She

Ciara was now beginning to sweat a bit. Quickly, she texted the suburban to come on over, briefly informing that the drivers would have to put up with a bit of raucous chauffeuring. Then she dashed over to Akashi to try and carry the presents herself before there was any kind of breakage. "Ey, come on, Akashi, let me take care of the packages. If you want to switch off piggybacking, Taylor'd have enough to carry as it is. And stay there, for god's sake, the closest bar is a good couple of blocks away! I've got some people to drive you over, they're a couple minutes out."

But despite the increasing stress of her new & unofficial "babysitter" role, Ciara was enjoying herself quite a bit. Already, she spotted the big silver suburban's lights making their way down the street, waved the vehicle on over, and turned back to the fun, just in case.

"Giddyup, and ya and stuff!" Taylor shouted while swatting at Akashi's ass with one hand. "Go git those presents!"

"Ha hah!" She shouted triumphantly at the discovery of the presents. "Alright, gimme the cake, goddammit, I'll get the-" Smack. Taylor got a face full of cake and she reeled back, lost her balance on Akashi's back, and took an unusually long time falling to the floor. Once she finally lost her grip on Akashi, she landed on the back of her neck on a bar stool, started to roll back and was stopped by the counter, and then finally fell head first and landed with a thud on her upper back.

"Ow. I think I hurt my... whadyacallit..." She said, while trying to disentangle her legs from the row of stools. She sat up and looked at Akashi and couldn't keep from a giggle fit. Her laughter gained momentum until she doubled over, red faced.

"Haaaaaaaaaaah! I fell down!" She announced. "I'm dumb!" She popped back up to her feet and reeled to one side. "EVERYONE! I'M DUMB!"

She headed back for the door and found herself face to face with Ciara. She put her hands on her hips and looked up at her, her nose almost touching hers. "I'm dumb. Wheresa ride? D'they have candy? I don't wanna ride in a candy van, I'm not that kinda girl, okay?" She started to walk around Ciara, but stopped and suddenly spun back to face her again.

"WAIT! HOLY SHIT! I'll give YOU a piggy back ride! C'mon, it'll be great, let's go get in the people that're coming." She grabbed one of Ciara's wrists and tugged it over her shoulder, turning her back to her and trying to position her to pick her up.