Let Us Prey

Who was ‘Sister Lucia’?

That was the question on the lips of the Friction audience tonight, and it had been one that they’d pondered all night long. They’d come for tonight’s show, the same as always, but unlike usual, they’d been handed a strange program along with the match lineup for the night. It advertised, of all the weird things, a sermon that would be taking place in the middle of the show, led by a woman named Sister Lucia. There was a flurry of Google searches across the AFW’s sphere, as the fans took to Twitter and started the gossip. Some said it was part of a weird viral marketing campaign for an upcoming movie, others theorized it was a fan prank by someone with too much time on their hands and a lot of ink to spare.

But they’d find out soon enough, as the time for the designated ‘sermon’ began, and they all gathered. None of them were sure what to expect.

That being said, it was doubtful that any of them were expecting Marilyn Manson.


To be specific, it was Marilyn Manson’s rendition of the Johnny Cash classic - names and music one wouldn’t expect to hear in a Japanese wrestling promotion, but there they were, and the women they heralded were almost as out of place. The lights dropped and the spotlights came up to reveal two women making their way down to the ring, one of who was already quite familiar.

The taller woman was Testament, a rarely seen Tension wrestler who’d gained some notoriety a while back after she took out Kyo Akamatsu and Ryo in brutal, bruising fashion. A berserker, the word had spread to keep clear of her, and for good reason - she cut an imposing figure, tower over even more Tension men at a harrowing 6”4’, casting an imposing shadow with every step she took. She didn’t say a word. Didn’t act as if she noticed the audience anymore than the audience noticed the dirt under their shoes.

The woman who came alongside her, however, was a wholly different matter.


The woman was a curious sort from the first moment anyone laid eyes on her, for a variety of reasons beyond her strange appearance. For one thing, she had an item tucked under one arm, one that probably hadn’t come within two miles of the Friction arena for years: a Bible. In her other hand, she held a collection plate, holding as she passed the audience, clearly looking for change to spare and even getting a couple of yen here and there. A strange act, and the crowd was generally perplexed, not having a clue what to make of the display. Thankfully, the duo wouldn’t keep them in the dark for much longer.

After taking a detour around the ring to grab a microphone from a hesitant announcer, she made her way into the ring with Testament close behind. Her bright, gleaming smile stood in stark contrast to her grim partner, gazing out at the people with her brilliant blue eyes, full of joy. Marilyn Manson’s dulcet tones began to fade, as she took a deep breath and prepared to speak.

”Hello, wayward souls.” Her voice was soft and sweet, lilting, as if she was on the edge of singing after every word. ”Have no fear - I come bearing  good news.” She raised her Bible in the air for a moment and gave it a shake, as if it were the miracle cure that they all didn’t know they needed. ”You do not know me, but I know you. All of you. I know why you’ve come here, to the AFW, to this haven of violence and vice, this den of degradation and desire. You are, all of you, infected with a great disease - sin. You crave it. You hunger for it. And, like moths to a flickering flame, you dance about the inferno that is the AFW, looking to fill the gaping hole in your lives and sate your sick, base desires. I can feel it. I can taste it. Can you, Sister Angelica?”

Testament did what she’d been doing since the two of them entered the ring: stood there, stony and silent, arms folded, staring out at the audience with a grimace of hardened disdain. The crowd was becoming more and more restless, since A) this was something that didn’t seem to involve wrestling and B) they were being told off, and boos were starting to emanate, growing louder by the second. Testament merely glanced towards the smaller woman, shrugged, and went back to her vigel.

The blonde giggled and turned about her toes, casting her glowing visage back to the audience. ”My sister isn’t one for words, I apologize. Some of you might recognize her from her time in Tension, where she tried to correct the masses there, and while she certainly had a measure of success, she lacked a voice. Lacked passion. Lack direction. That is what I am here to provide.”

The woman stepped forward, closed her eyes and puffed out her chest, making her impressive bosom swell within the tight confines of her attire. This managed to silence a few of the jeers, but only until she started speaking again. ”I am Lucia. Sister Lucia. In these times of trouble and strife, I have been chosen as the righteous sword of the divine, to cut away the cancerous growth that has attached itself to the AFW. For too long, this place has been a haven for lust. For too long, it has championed wanton sex and immorality. A haven for heathens, a pit for pagans. I am the light in the dark, the rain in the desert, the cure for the disease that threatens to consume your very souls. Perhaps you all do not see it now, and I understand that. The Lord is patient, and He knows that His children sometimes require a diligent hand. But I have been sent to shepard you wayward sheep back into the fold, and when you are back under his care, when His grace comes over you again, you will once again know true peace.”

As the booing reached its zenith, Lucia brought her hands over her chest and sighed, glad that she got that all out. The hatred spewing her way wasn’t a bother, that would go away with time. She’d make them all see.

”Now!” She gave her Bible a good thump and popped it open. ”With introductions out of the way, I’ve reserved twenty minutes for my sermon, and I intend to use them! If you would, please, open your Bibles to Exodus 20:14. The KJV, if you don't mind - I know, I know, most prefer the NIV these days, but I'm a sucker for the old-school...”

"Booooooooo..."

"...*YAWWWWN*..."

"...-otta be kiddin me..."

"Zzzzzz..."

"Dude...I didn't bring a Bible..."

"What, you think I brought one?..."

"Boooooooo..."

Wandering eyes amongst the AFW faithful were cast in several differing directions throughout the first two minutes of the sisterly sermon from on high. Either they were unenthusiastically rolled into the back of several heads in regret for having purchased tickets this night...becoming half-lidded from those audience members beginning to doze off in their head bobbing attempts to remain awake...zoned out into the expansive, brightly lit familiarity of their individual smartphones as they checked their text messages or wondered what else was happening in the world...or, they were simply redirected towards the general vicinity of the nearest restroom and concession stands. AFW producers backstage with headsets on were appropriately enough reacting to this distressing sight on their monitors and the sudden decline in viewership with jabbering panic and blatant finger pointing as they played a frantic game of hot potato with the blame that was assuredly about to be levied against someone for this debacle unfolding on live television. None of them coming to the dawning realization that perhaps they should have asked what were the exact details of Sister's Lucia's segment before scheduling her into the night's lineup. Though none could be blamed for not predicting that a wrestler was going to deride and chastise their passionate fandom for what they paid good money to see before leading a 20-minute snoozefest...and they were reacting as to be expected. Not a soul appreciating being preached down towards by a Nun whose soft, dulcet voice pridefully placed herself on a pedestal, or in this case, a pulpit, above all in attendance whom she deemed tainted and sinful...

...shuffling movement began being taking from people rising up out of their seats when...

"EVERYBODY OUT THERE READY TO GIVE A HOOOOOOT????"

Hoots~...:

Peppy rock music shattered the booing discontent heard in the arena to a resounding wave of relief, drowning out Lucia's impassioned reading from her Bible amongst it's jovial lyrics and upbeat tempo. The Titan-tron broadcasting the owl-blinking logo of the world leading purveyor of buffalo wings, raucous parties, and the loveliest of accommodating waitresses~...two of whom would come bouncing out from a random entrance into the arena's crowds. One of the orange spotlights swirling around the arena centering itself on the bubbly duo of Haruka and Caitlyn, hopping up and down with waving hands, five-star smiles, and a jiggly bounce to their ample assets. All the life that had been prudishly sucked from the environment being immediately re-injected like a shot of adrenaline into the dying pulse of the audience. Flurries of orange and white confetti tassels raining down from the roof and inadvertently upon the demure Sister and her silent, swole bodyguard. The attentive waitresses taking their time in making their way towards the ring given that they were both handing out free pints of beer and hot wings samplers from their serving plates towards their faithful fans now hooting it up. Once at ringside they exchanged their emptied serving trays for microphones with ringside officials, taking a random selfie with other guys and their groups of friends at ringside before simultaneously rolling under the bottom ropes to the silencing echo of their theme being turned down.

"WELL...*ahem*...Firstly, before we get to anything else tonight, Haru and I jus wanna THANK each and everyone of you in the audience for making it out here tonight. Guys, you all are the best fans any little old waitress' could ever ask for~...We love you guys, and we really hope to see some of you come on over to the Hooters joint across the street after the show for HAPPPPY HOOOURRR~....WOOOO!!!!!" Caityn chipperly advertised, making the customers feel right at home before pumping her fist a few times to engage the people in some "Hoot"-ing chants. Their orange booty shorts earning their titles as they shimmied their hips for some fan service to go with their food service before turning their attention back towards the uptight stiffs before them. "...and like, now that we got that out the way, I just gotta say...that, like, you two've got some nerve to make people feel rotten for like, liking what they like, ya like?...I mean, ya know?" Haru expressed herself in true air-headed valleyspeak with a miffed pout and hands propped on her hips, all to a round of applause to those still not knowing what she just said. "Umm...W-What she's trying to say is that...we think people should be free to enjoy whatever they want. We're all totes cool with you two believing what you want too, of course...but we don't think they need a shepherd or anything like that. We just think they like to unwind and have a little bit of fun from time to time...right guys?" Cait asked while turning towards the audience with a picturesque smile, who all couldn't have responded happier. Thrusting their index fingers into the air for a resounding "YES!!!" chant...

If the crowd expected Sister Lucia to be deterred by the boos, they were sorely mistaken. She knew she would be poorly received in the AFW. Wasn’t that always the way of things? Sinners hated being confronted in their sins. Hated being exposed. It was the same thing with the Savior, where the masses rejected the message, where they spat and cursed His name. How could Lucia ever expect anything different? Let them boo. Let them jeer. Let them…hoot?

Lucia’s eyes shot wide and Testament’s narrowed as Avril Lavigne’s startling voice came out over the loudspeakers, filling the arena and bringing the fans to their feet. Lucia had never been a fan of Ms. Lavigne in her previous life, finding her upbeat, poppy tunes to be rather annoying, and while her conversion had changed many things about her, that musical opinion had not changed one bit. She found the song irritating, but she was mostly confused to hear it playing. Confused, and then incensed when she realized the reason - someone was making their entrance.

Floozies..

That was the nicest word Sister Lucia could think to describe the two harlots that came waltzing out. They were young, not over their mid-twenties, and came bearing gifts for the gullible audience in the form of food and drinks. While they lacked enough wings to feed the multitude, they were able to please the crowds with their bodies. Jiggling. Shaking. Thrusting their hips about in such a licentious display. Their breasts threatened to burst free of their confines at any moment, round and supple breasts barely contained within the tight tops. Those slim booty shorts they wore did nothing to hide their enveloping curves, letting them freely bounce about with every step they took, leaving so little to the imagination...

”You’re staring.”

Sister Lucia was jolted back to reality by Testament’s monotone words, speaking to her as the Hoots addressed the audience. Yes, true, she had been caught up in the moment, she would not lie. For a moment, she had fallen under the spell of these sinful succubi. Could she be blamed? It was a test, but one that she was determined to endure.

She took a moment to regain her wits and tucked the Bible at her side, readying herself for a rebuttal while these two went about their routine. She shook her head as these wayward woman spoke, trying to rally the crowd to their cause, not seeing the harm they were doing.

Testament seemed to have even less patience for this than Lucia did, as she started to lumber towards the two interlopers with violent intent burning in her eyes. Luckily, she stopped her warpath with Sister Lucia raised an arm in front of her - there was no need to go to such extreme methods. Yet.

”Nonsense! Burning in the pits of hell is not ‘totes cool’, young lady.” She wagged a finger at the two sirens. ”You two should be ashamed of yourselves, dressed in such a manner, enticing these poor souls with your lewd gyrations! What would your parents think to see you in this attire, condoning a hedonistic lifestyle.” She pointed a finger at them both in turn, before waving them away.

”Off with you. Both of you. This is the Lord’s time, I serve the Lord’s will. He is a patient god, but only so patient, and His wrath is a thing to behold - unless you wish me to demonstrate, you will leave, and return to the disgusting, depraved tavern you crawled out of.” She kept her voice soft, not loosing the soft lilt that came with every word she said, but there was an edge to her speech, as well, a tone that showed she would not hesitate to put action behind her words.

Both Hoots were totes appreciative that their elaborately crafted entrance jamboree went off without a hitch...especially considering they were actually booked for waaaaay later in the night. The bubbly waitresses having only just donned their iconic Hooters attire and were chatting up a storm with some of the other wrestlers in a hallway when all of a sudden a frazzled backstage producer sprinted up to them and insisted they go on right this second to salvage a so-called "dying" segment that was killing the crowd. Being the team-players that they were, and how well acquainted they were to working under strenuous circumstances, they put a rush on those hot wings and beer mugs, toot sweet. And it looks they got their entrance scrambled together just in time considering that a few wrestling fans were starting to make beelines towards the exit doors before they made their booty-shaking appearance.

But now that they were finally out in the ring and staring down the ladies who caused their rush-job in the first place...hooboy, did they have a humdinger of a sourpuss on their proverbial serving plate this fine Spring night. They're gonna have to tread carefully with this one, unless they wanted to start being called "blasphemous" and start having this lady begin throwing bibles at them or something. Though what immediately concerned them both was the hulking muscle lady beside her who looked none too pleased with them just trying to interject some life into this dead crowd...both Hoots semi-hugging one another in fear when the holy bruiser started stepping up to them, only to be reigned in by the preacher lady. The perky waitresses breathing a sigh of relief, but knew better than to say "Thank God" or else this lady was probably going to pitch a fit about taking his name in vain.

"...Hedonistic?...I think our parents would, like, be thankful that we're out there earning an honest living. But honey...you of all people have no right talking about other's people wrestling attire considering how I think you're the one showing the most skin here, Sister Looney Tunes...For realsies~..." Haru giving a sassy snap of her fingers and neck roll to her comeback, summarily pointing out the hypocrisy on display here between themselves and the...provocative, attire Lucia's wearing. "Well said, Haru~...but speaking of the Lord's time, seeing as how the producer's now intend for us to share this timeslot together, what say we have ourselves a little throwdown, Ladies and Gents~...Yours truly versus Sister Lucy, and the winner gets to decide how to bookend the segment however they want. Either with a sneak peek of the Hooter's Babe Of The Month bikini photos up on the Titan-tron~...or, uh...Lucia's stirring closing statement from her uhm, cool little sermon...hooray..." Cait doing her best to make Lucia's sermon sound interesting, but it was nevertheless drowned out immediately afterward by every single attendee tonight shaking their heads and flinging their arms to the side for a resounding "NO!!!" chant...

Continued here...