Two Worlds

A week has passed since Charlotte lost her match against Alaina. The first three days, the Frenchwoman slept most of the time, her body literally refused to work in normal mode. Each joint and each muscle seemed to burn in agony every time she tried to return to an active lifestyle. As she expected, her face, especially her lower lip, the wound on which opened three times during the match, was greatly swollen. The edema disappeared only five days later, until this moment she had not been shown herself in public, moving only in the dark and only in the hood.

The worst situation was with her back and neck. The spectacular end of the match from her rival cost Charlotte a very high price. Despite all the protests, Victoria called a doctor for her ward, who did a full physical examination. In addition to overstressed muscles and countless bruises, she stated that the Frenchwoman received a serious stretching of her back muscles, and several nerves were clamped in her neck. The doctor recommended that the girl lead a calm lifestyle, use ointments, and not strain her neck and back in the next few weeks. Victoria was very worried about Charlotte's left hand when she saw how Charlotte was hitting the wall, despite the blood, she was sure that the Frenchwoman had broken several of her knuckles and did not notice it. Well, it was pretty close, according to the doctor she only miraculously avoided fractures, escaping only with a serious bruise and torn skin.

When she finally managed to move more or less normally, the pink-haired girl first went to the gym, despite all the prohibitions from the doctor and her manager. Despite the pain, she hit the punching bag for four days in a row and worked on her moves with the mannequin. However, during all these seven days she was devastated. Whatever she did, a voice constantly sounded in her head that scoffed at her. Which repeated an infinite number of times about how weak she was. And no matter how much she trained, Charlotte could not get that voice out of her head. She succumbed, she herself opened the way for Elizabeth. And now the ghostly image of her sister did not let her go. Due to the lack of concentration, each workout was completely meaningless. It was just a waste of energy.

Waking up early in the morning of the eighth day, Charlotte realized that she could no longer withstand it. She spent three days in her apartment. And she spent four days in the gym. Totally alone. Only Elizabeth's voice accompanied her at every turn. Despite the fact that Charlotte did not have the right to complain about loneliness, now for the first time in a long time she thought she was starting to go crazy. She had no family. She had no girlfriend or boyfriend. She essentially had no friends. She never even experienced a feeling of love. Usually the Frenchwoman never thought about it, because her life was filled with travels. However, after she decided to stay in Tokyo, she began to notice that her morale began to deteriorate rapidly.

She had no choice. Unable to withstand the voice in her head anymore, she dressed in summer clothes and left the house. Despite the fact that the swelling had already disappeared from her face, her lower lip still did not heal, and the body was still covered with multiple bruises. However, the girl abandoned her usual tracksuit for the simple reason that now it would be just an extra hassle. She was wearing the sports white bra, sleeveless T-shirt, short shorts and light sports sneakers. Moreover, she did not care about the surprised looks of passers-by, who every now and then looked at the wounds of the master of martial arts. Amazing. Why are there so many people on the street this morning?

ATTIRE:

Charlotte's face did not express any emotions, from the outside it might seem that she was not a living person, but only an android, a machine that performs a set of functions. She simply walked in the intended direction, not caring about what was going on around. Finishing her studies at a Chinese monastery, she promised her master that she would never use this to suppress Elizabeth's voice in her head. But now Charlotte was forced to break that promise. Too many things required her sanity, and this voice, which repeated and repeated all these insults, burning her alive.

Around seven in the morning, the pink-haired girl arrived at her destination. It was a large forest park. Since it was a working day, she hoped there would be few people here. But for greater certainty, she went as far as possible so that the likelihood of others' views was minimized. Having gone far enough, Charlotte chose for herself a small glade meadow surrounded by trees.

The master of martial arts lay down right on the grass and closed her eyes. Because it was too early now, the ground was still cool, as was the air. But this was what gave her a little pleasure for the first time in a week. However, she did not come here lying on the grass. Charlotte assumed a seated position and crossed her legs, thereby taking the sukhasana pose. Then the girl put her right palm on top of her left palm, joining her thumbs, thereby taking dhyana mudra. Charlotte took a deep inhale and a slow exhale. Her meditation has begun.

She mastered this technique perfectly, but, following the instructions of the master, she did not use it constantly. During meditation, the girl completely lost mobility, completely merging with nature. Her feelings were aggravated, but at the same time her mind was freed. The first hour Charlotte spent to fully enter into harmony with her surrounding nature. Due to the complete lack of mobility, birds sometimes even landed on it. She spent the second hour of her meditation to free herself from her sister's voice. That’s exactly what the master forbade her to do, because it was only a temporary way and Charlotte should not avoid her weaknesses, but fight them, but now she was ready to do it. And she devoted the next three hours to reflection. Too many things needed to be considered. For example, why did she lose and what should she do to prevent this from happening again. The sun had already risen, and even the zenith had already passed, now it was a little after noon. The air had completely warmed up, and now Charlotte's light clothing didn't seem like a bad choice. Another bird sat on the girl’s shoulder, it was a red sparrow, but the Frenchwoman, of course, did not see it. We can say that despite the fact that she felt that a bird was sitting on her shoulder, her mind denied the existence of this bird. Now she was completely lost in thought.

Finded peace of mind and ented into harmony with nature, Charlotte's mind was open to research. The girl could plunge into her memories, not missing a single detail. And despite the fact that it was difficult, she had to return a week ago. It was painful and unpleasant, but she had to refresh her memory and remember every blow she received from her rival. However, meditation meant a balance between pain and calm, so now Charlotte has devoted herself to in-depth analysis.

She came to some conclusions. And these conclusions did not please her. She found three reasons at once, and each of these reasons required its own solution. But the Frenchwoman was ready to solve only one, because the other two required more decisive action from her. The master of martial arts made the sad conclusion that she is weaker than her rival in all physical aspects, except, possibly, technique. She didn’t have that much strength, she didn’t have that much endurance, and Alaina showed that at some moments she could move almost faster than the light Charlotte. However, unlike other reasons, this could be worked on.

As for the other reasons, then everything was much more complicated. After all, in the end, she could not... what is it? Charlotte's heightened feelings told her that someone's eyes were riveted to her. It was not just a passerby who glanced briefly at the girl, now she felt with her whole body that someone was purposefully looking at her. Then her hearing told her that this person was approaching her. The red sparrow fly off from the girl’s shoulder a second before she heard Alaina's voice.

“You must be kidding me... I have a bad feeling about this”, - Charlotte thought.

Now the last person on earth she wanted to see was her sister. And Alaina was right after her. If not for meditation, which brought balance to the Frenchwoman, she did not even know how she would react to this meeting. What were the chances that exactly today, right here, they will meet again? Does the harmony taught by Buddha mean that she will have to face her rival so soon to test her feelings? If she met the Amazon yesterday, then it certainly would not have ended in anything good for the spiritual condition of the Frenchwoman. However, now she had the strength to be calm and unemotional.

- Hello, Alaina, - Charlotte answered with restraint, without opening her eyes or interrupting meditation, - I would bow, but I'm afraid that I should not move. I'm fine. What about you?

Charlotte's answer was not entirely true. With a naked eye, one could notice that the wounds had not yet disappeared from her body. Unfortunately or fortunately, she was not a dog and the wounds took a long time to heal. In addition to her still not healed lower lip and bruises, Alaina could pay attention to the bandaged knuckles of her left palm, because during their match Charlotte’s hand was not damaged and there should be no bandages on it. And her spiritual state during this week was somewhere in Hell. However, right now, being at rest, she really was fine. Since Alaina did not specify the period of time, within the framework of the current moment, Charlotte told her the truth. From a certain point of view.

- Do you need something? - the master of martial arts politely asked.

Her technique required absolute stillness, so after Charlotte began to move her lips, her concentration was partially impaired, but still she was able to maintain spiritual balance in order not to start meditation from the very beginning. Somewhere deep down, the girl even had a slight curiosity, it would be strange if Alaina approached her just for nothing. Only a very naive person would suggest that Charlotte would be glad to talk after all that had happened. So now the Frenchwoman was even a little interested in what exactly Alaina wanted to say. Did she want to clarify something about Sand Lizard's defeat. Or it was just a kind of politeness and she came up just to say hello.

“Stop by and say hi...” - Charlotte repeated in her mind.

The girl remained motionless, however, Alaina's next question slightly shifted her spiritual balance to the side. In her head again ran seven days, which she spent alone with herself and her sister's voice. Charlotte was forced to take a deep breath in order to drive away these thoughts. She slowly opened her eyes, a bright light blinded her for several seconds. While in meditation, she completely lost track of time and only now realized that the sun was already very high, it seems that she sat here for at least five hours. Her heavy gaze went to Alaina's eyes. Charlotte did not know if she should answer honestly now. In the end, they were not friends, and the girl was not sure that she should be frank with the Amazon. Closing her eyes, Charlotte returned to a motionless state.

- Losers like me do not get an autograph signing sessions, - she answered calmly, - I laid in the bed for three days, you badly hurt my back and neck. And I spent four days in the gym. However, my trainings were futile. And now I'm here. In China, I learned to meditate in absolute immobility, this allows me to find harmony with nature and myself. Judging by the sun, I sit here for about five hours. Is there anything new and exciting in this I will let you decide.

Well, she decided to tell the truth and laid out to Alaina everything as it is, ignoring only the most delicate details. For example, that she injured her hand immediately after the end of their match, having lost control, and that, due to psychological trauma, she periodically hears her sister’s voice, which pushing her to not very good deeds, and which constantly reminds her how much she is weak. Despite the fact that the Frenchwoman was ready to open herself to someone close, so far this remained only between her and her manager. Victoria was a good person, so she had the right to know everything about her ward.

How did she know that Alaina had an autograph session today? Well, perhaps you won’t say it at first glance, but Charlotte was not a caveman. Despite the fact that she even goes to the store in a tracksuit and that she spends most of her time in the gym, she still knew how to use the Internet. And on the main page of AFW it is very difficult not to notice a large banner announcing the dates of such events with famous wrestlers. In any case, so far, Charlotte did not even strive for this, she was here for another reason. Perhaps someday she, too, will receive a small share of fame, but so far she has nothing to regret. Even about her defeat. This did not cause her regret, but anger towards herself. And these are two fundamentally different things.

Somewhere deep down, Charlotte knew from the start that this conversation would contain some kind of story. And she was right. Without the slightest movement, the girl listened to everything Alaina said. First, about the fact that Charlotte showed herself well during sparring and during the match. And then about the fact that the Amazon began her career with difficulties and obstacles. Well, the Frenchwoman has never denied the fact that everyone has their own problems. Of all the above, the phrase that she was too hard on herself for no reason was most of all hooked on her.

Sand Lizard took a deep inhale and slowly exhaled. She knew that if she began to speak now, it would be long enough. In addition, she was in complete confidence that Alaina would not understand her. In addition, she was afraid not only to lose her spiritual balance, but to begin to become irritated. Victoria recently told Charlotte about her other ward, who lost her debut, she also heard from her rival that one defeat in a long career means nothing. Ironically or not, that girl was pink-haired too. Well, maybe that doesn't make any sense, but...

- Alaina, - said Charlotte, opening her eyes again and turning her gaze into the eyes of the American girl, she wanted to look at her interlocutor to emphasize her words, - I respect you as a strong fighter, but I am not you. If at the beginning of your outstanding career there were many difficulties and defeats, this does not mean that I should make a guiding star from this for myself and put up with my own defeats. Believe me, I will draw conclusions from our match, but I will never accept that I have lost to you. Not because of you, but because of me.

For a few moments, the girl closed her eyes again in order to take a few breaths. Today was a wonderful day, the warmth from the bright sun pleasantly pinching the skin, but Charlotte did not feel it. Thanks to her detachment, she seemed to be one with the surrounding world, and not a separate part of it. She really loved this feeling of peace, but still she did not want to make Alaina wait, so she opened her eyes in order to continue.

- You said that I am being hard on myself for no reason. Have you tried to think at least a little about the other side? Do you really think that the fact that I lost to you, the well-deserved veteran, and not another newcomer, makes me kind of... - the girl was silent for a moment, not finding the right word, - amazing or what did you call me after your victory? Let me explain something to you. I am the fighter. I have my own code. I could win our sparring, I would climb the ring to the end of the countdown, you know that. But I consider such a victory unworthy. I could take a moment in our match, sit on you and start beating your face until you bleed. You took advantage of this situation at the very beginning, remember? If you don’t remember, then my lower lip remembers. But I did not do this, because for me such a move is more like a dirty street fight than the real fight. Do you think I raise you to feet, holding your hand, not your hair, because I care about your hairstyle? No, the real fighter will not go down to a banal catfight. Let me guess what you want to say now. But all this is allowed by the rules of a standard match, everyone does it! That's right, allowed. But I am not everyone. Therefore, I did not say that any other person should follow my code. This is my way, and I am sure that no one else will share it with me.

Charlotte took a breath, she talked too long. And even so, she did not finish. The girl felt that her heart began to beat faster. It is not right. She took a deep breath, restoring her balance. The heartbeat seems to have begun to calm down.

- They tried to control me all my life, my family tried to control me, they saw in me someone who I was not, - she continued, trying to talk about her family as little as possible, although it was on the word "family" that her voice trembled a little, - But I was always the fighter, it just so happened. But no one recognized my skills. And I made a promise to myself that I will become better and will achieve that I and my skills are recognized. I am not being hard on myself for no reason. Fights and martial arts is my whole life. I have nothing more and noone. I have no family, I have no friends, I only have martial arts. Therefore, Alaina, your words that I am amazing and that I will go far in my career will only become true when I'll defeat you. Another question is, will you repeat these words when I'll defeat you?

Closing her eyes, the girl involuntarily recalled how she lost control and injured her left arm, yielding to anger after the defeat. Her too impulsive character, which she had long suppressed, still bursted out. It was like an immortal beast that sat in a cage, and his anger grew every day. And the malice that has been accumulating for such a long time always comes out. She specifically used the word “when” and not "if". Charlotte was not a proud person, but she was in full confidence that it was much easier for the veteran to say such words, standing above the loser. Therefore, the Frenchwoman was really wondering if the Amazon had enough honor and conscience to repeat this in the future.

- Do. Or do not. There is no try, - she said, without opening her eyes, - I always go into the ring for victory. In the case with you... I did, and I lost. But this does not mean that I will take my defeat lightly, no matter who you are, Alaina. Be at least the reigning absolute champion with all the belts and titles, who defeated me, being on the verge of own defeat. I will never allow myself to justify my failure by the fact that I lost to the strong veteran. This is the way.

After the last word, she opened her eyes to look into Alaina’s eyes with all decisiveness, she was responsible for every word spoken. Charlotte heard from her manager about another blonde girl. According to Victoria, she fought only in order to have fun because she loved extreme, she loved to test her powers, challenging the most powerful rivals. She did not care about victories or defeats as long as she could have fun. But for Charlotte, even this was not important. Yes, she was hard on herself. Yes, she followed her idiotic for most rules with her code. Yes, she was not ready to accept defeat. But she wanted recognition. And recognition in her opinion can only be obtained by victory. After all, perhaps in this case, she finally made her sister's voice shut up forever.

They were not friends, but she said a lot. Following life's experience, Charlotte was sure that Alaina would not understand anything. Or in an extreme case, she will understand, but consider it absolute stupidity. Or, as some others have already done, interprets all of this incorrectly and considers Sand Lizard to be just a person with high conceit. Well, in that case, she would definitely not be the first. Now Charlotte had nothing more to add, so she could only wait for an answer from Alaina, if it follows of course.

At first, Charlotte even experienced a little facilitation. When Alaina finished her first two sentences, the Frenchwoman was even a little surprised. She really did not think that Alaina could understand her point of view. Few people were capable of this, the Sand Lizard did not deny that her views on life were quite unusual. But still, she was pleased that the American girl said she understood this.

Exactly until the moment when she continued her speech. Then, with every word, Charlotte began to get annoyed. Her heart began to beat faster, and her balance began to break. She tried to breathe as calmly as possible. However, the void in her mind began to fill with thoughts and negativity.

"Calmly... breathe... continue to feel the nature around... remain one with nature...", - she reassured herself.

However, in the word "shortchanged" her calm cracked. The girl's eyebrows frowned, and her face was distorted for one moment due to irritation. In an instant, her stillness was broken. She felt the sun pinching her skin, she felt how hungry she was, she felt a stream of wind refresh her face. She returned to the real world, losing concentration. The Frenchwoman opened her eyes with displeasure and pushed  apart her thumbs, completely interrupting the meditation.

- Diable! - she said in French displeasedly, realizing that now she would have to re-enter the state of rest.

The girl looked at Alaina with a heavy gaze. For an instant, it seemed to her that the Amazon really understood her, but now Charlotte was disappointed with the words of an American girl. She rose to her feet, feeling her bones and muscles petrified during this time, such was the price for peace of mind. Charlotte's face clearly showed that she did not like Alaina's words. The girl had already opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it. She straightened her palms, raised them to the level of her chest and taking a deep inhale and then lowered them down, making a slow exhale. Her face stopped displaying negative, she calmed down. In the end, it is possible that she incorrectly explained her position.

- Listen, - she said in a tired voice, - I don't consider you an inferior wrestler. I clearly said that I respect you as a strong fighter. You are a honored veteran and former champion, you have nothing to prove, unlike me. But I repeat once again, even though you are the veteran whom I respect, I will not allow myself to justify my failure with this.

The girl turned away from Alaina, turning to face the sun. It was very nice. It can be said that for the first time in the past week, she felt truly alive. She did not know whether this sensation was deceptive or not, but now she seemed to have climbed out of the darkness. There was no voice in her head that was mocking her. And she enjoyed the sun.

- And I said that my code is my code, - she continued, - just because I limit myself further does not mean that you are obligated to do this too. For all other people, my idea of ​​a real fighter is complete nonsense, I know that. But I will not give up on this. I will never allow myself to do what I consider unworthy, even if permitted by the rules of the match. I have my own standards. I am the fighter. And my victory will be crystal clear so that no one dares reproach me and my skills. Moreover, I can’t lose control, this can lead to bad consequences.

Charlotte involuntarily looked at her bandaged left hand and only then realized that she had said some unnecessary. She was not going to say this, Alaina should not have known yet that Charlotte was using her code in order to keep her inner anger under control. Trying not to attach any importance to this, she put her hands together in a lock and stretched up, only five hours passed, but for her this meditation lasted for ages. The girl sighed heavily, she was no longer sure whether Alaina would understand her words or not.

- We will meet, no doubt. I will deserve my victory over you, - she said, turning her head to Alaina and looking into her eyes, Charlotte even smiled slightly, emphasizing her sincerity, - but not because I feel shortchanged. But because I want your words to become true. I am forbidden to be proud, this leads to negative emotions, but I want to be treated as the real fighter who is able to defeat even the veteran like you. That's all.

Charlotte even took a step towards Alaina, putting her clenched right fist on her straightened left palm, the master of martial arts bowed, paying tribute. And when she straightened, she began to raise her right hand to Alaina’s cheek, but then, realizing that it was wrong, she stopped herself, shaking her head slightly. Such frank conversations were not her line. To be honest to the end, she was not so frank with anyone. Never. Perhaps that is why she lost the objective perception of reality for one second, forgetting that they are not too close. Emotions have always been an enemy of Charlotte, she was a complex person.

- Sorry... - she said embarrassedly, - I will probably return to meditation...

Charlotte again assumed a sitting position, crossing her legs and putting her right palm on her left, joining her thumbs. She closed her eyes for a moment, but then opened them, looking at Alaina.

- If you want, we can meditate together, - she said a little hesitantly, - I'm afraid that my technique is quite complicated, but I can show you something simpler, where you do not need to completely become motionless...

The Frenchwoman could not say what she was counting on, but regardless of whether Alaina understood her feelings or not, now she wanted to offer to stay together. And this time, Charlotte did not suppress her emotional impulse.