Breaking the Tension!™ Episode 10: Nobu Tano

Nobu was trying to play off his words, managing to avoid outward humiliation, give the impression that he’d been unfazed by Patty’s scathing words. On a lesser journalist, it mightv’e worked, too. But Patty was too well trained, too gifted to fall for such a rouse. She’d wounded him. Deep. And she’d continue to do so, as long as he kept on playing the fool.

Patty could make a career with her show, but she could break one just as easily. Such was her power. And Nobu would find out the hard way, that…

...was that the door?

Patty let out a long, irritated, annoyed groan at the sound of the door. Her studio was clearly marked, people should’ve known better than to just barge in like that. It was totally unprofessional, and she was already dreading the editing process she’d have to do to iron out the wrinkle.

”Excuse me.” Patty got up and stomped over the door, ready to give whoever it was an epic tongue lashing. Or what would’ve been if there was anyone even there. Which there wasn’t. Just empty hallway.

Patty, keen and intuitive as she was, found herself thorough stumped. ”What?”

Nobu was a guy who typically had fairly thick skin. Most of the time when people took verbal shots at him, he’d just turn it into a joke and everyone would get a laugh out of it. But Patty wasn’t just taking a shot at him. She was trying to undercut any credibility Nobu had as a performer. No, that wouldn’t do at all. Nobu Tano always got the last laugh, one way or another. And Patty was about to find that out the hard way.

While she was going to get the door, Nobu reached behind his seat and lifted up an opened plastic container he’d hidden. In it was what appeared at first glance to be literal shit. It wasn’t. It was just partially melted milk chocolate rearranged to look like something he might’ve scooped up off his front lawn on his way out.

Quickly and quietly he removed it from the box and placed it on the seat of Patty’s chair, then set the box back down behind him. He shoved his hands back into his pockets and smiled ever so innocently while waiting for the host to return. When she did, he’d lock his eyes onto hers and hold the gaze, knowing she’d be likely to suspect he was up to something. Nobu fidgeted his hands lightly in his pockets to create the illusion that he just might have something hidden there. Really, that was just to keep Patty’s attention on him so she wouldn’t notice the surprise waiting on her seat.

“Who was that?” he asked nonchalantly, while waiting for Patty to sit down. When she did, well.... It was bound to be quite an entertaining sight.

Patty’s journalism sense was tingling full tilt as she made her way back over to Nobu. She could tell from the look on his face, the way he was hiding something in his pockets, and the odd giggling coming from one of her staff members - something was up. A trap.

But she was keen. She was wary. As she made her way back, Patty was certain that he wouldn’t get the jump on her. ”It was nothing, really.” She strolled on over, preparing to sit. ”Probably one of my competitors, trying to...ruin...my...my…my…”

Wetness. Soggy, disgusting wetness came seeping into her skirt, making its way past her undergarment and tainting her nethers. A cold chill ran up her spine, as she realized she’d fallen into another one of Nobu’s pranks. The last one.

She sat there for a moment, a blank, empty stare on her features as she registered what had just happened and her brain suggested ways to cope with the sheer rage running through her system.

After a long, queer moment, she turned to Nobu, moving her head like it was on a swivel.

”Nobu,” Her voice was eerily calm and placid, but there was faint tremor underneath the tone. ”Let’s have a match.”

Nobu could see how cautious Patty was trying to be. To her credit, she’d been wise enough to learn from history, and attentive enough to pick up on the signs that he was going to try to get yet another laugh at her expense. But it wasn’t enough to detect the real threat in time. She sat down, and that was that.

Checkmate.

The young man held his laughter back a moment, just long enough to really take in her expression, then let it all out. Nobu roared out in laughter once again, and by this point even the other staff members in the room couldn’t help but join in! He held his gut in his arms and stomped a few times while his eyes started watering up. That had all gone too perfectly.

But then Patty spoke, and suddenly all the laughter in the room came to a dead stop. The staff members stared at her in disbelief, and Nobu looked like he wasn’t sure what he’d just heard. He chuckled a bit more, then finally responded. “Whoa, wait now. Uh, could you repeat that?” There’s no way Patty could’ve challenged him to a wrestling match, right? Surely he had to have just misheard her...

Patty did not want to be here. She did not want to be sitting in this chair with this icky liquid sinking into her clothes while her own staff laughed at her. She wanted to be home, in her bed, eating Graham Crackers and catching up on Game of Thrones and Orange is the New Black.

But she was here. She was dealing with this. She would make Nobu pay. Humiliate him just as he’d done her. And it was only fair that she do to him in his career what he’d tried to do with hers.

”I.” She pointed to her chest. Petite, yet beautiful it was.

”Challenge.” She put up her dukes.

”You” She pointed straight at him.

”If you’re not afraid of losing to a real woman, of course.” She turned her nose up at him, looking superior, confident, in control of the situation. Because she was all of those things, and so much more.

Oh shit, he’d heard her right after all... And she was serious, too!

The staff members who had been staring open-mouthed at Patty in utter shock now turned their attention to Nobu to see what his answer would be. Meanwhile, Nobu’s brain was running through the situation and all his possible answers to try to figure out what the hell he should even say.

Nobu had no reason to be afraid of Patty in the ring. He may not’ve had a great track record even coming into AFW, but she’d never even been in a match before! Would she even be allowed to compete? And what if she got hurt? That would probably end up hurting his paycheck in some way, shape or form, a thought he wasn’t very keen on. Then again, saying no right now would look make him look incredibly cowardly. And something in his mind told him the potential downsides of accepting Patty’s challenge outweighed the humiliation of being known as “that coward who chickened out of a fight with Patty O’Malley.”

Besides, it’d give him more chances to embarrass her, this time in front of thousands of fans watching it live.

“Alright, you’re on!” Nobu said with a confident grin, extending a hand to offer a handshake - no buzzer this time - so they could make it official.

Patty went to shake Nobu’s hand - being a fine, upstanding American, she never refused a good handshake, something that her future opponent surely couldn’t grasp.. She was cautious, of course, and checked to see if he wasn’t trying to get some sort rise out of her again, but no - everything was clear.

She shook his hand with full confidence, clamping down with all of her power. He would see that she had fostered some surprising strength from her numerous Zumba classes and WiiFit sessions, and it would let him know that she wasn’t one to be taken lightly. Patty might not have been a professional wrestler herself, but she was an O’ Mally, born to fight for what she believed in, and she’d been studying wrestling intensely since she came to Japan a year ago.

Granted, she’d never done any of them moves, but it couldn’t have been that complicated. After all, if a bumbling blue-haired boob like Nobu could do it, so could she. And much better.

Nobu was about to have the fight of his life. He just didn’t know it yet!